Request

Hello everyone!

I was going to hold off writing until I had something definitive to tell you all, and I will still write a full-out update to all my distribution list as soon as I know more. Tonight, however, I was thinking that I should at least send out a note to you select to tell you what there is to tell and ask for your prayers.

I’m down to my last week here in the UK. For those of you who might not have heard, I had a conversation with my managers about 2 months ago and asked about what opportunities would be available to me going forward. As far as I was concerned, Leamington was not where I wanted to remain. It’s a nice little town and I can see how living in such a place might be attractive if I were married with kids (like the other Americans that I’m here with). But seeing as I’m no where near either that status, Leamington holds less for me…it’s small and remote, not to mention that it has been exceedingly difficult to really make friends here (let alone date!) My minimum contract term here was 1 year which is up at the end of July. So what I put to my managers was that if I were to remain in the UK, I wished to be moved to London and/or placed on the Global Training Team (as opposed to the UK Team). The outcome of this discussion was that there were no positions available and so I was left only with the options of staying in Leamington or going home. So I opted for home.

That was late-May.

Mid-June I went home for a friend’s wedding. When I returned, my sister Kristin was here visiting for about a week. After she left, I went on holiday to Greece for 10 days. During this time everything was being sorted out as far as my leaving…the when and how and where to and all that. There were a lot of issues raised that we were trying to get answers to…things like they were supposed to provide a job in the States for me to return to when I left. However with the market being as tight as it is, my company has really not been hiring for nearly a year. So if they couldn’t find a job for me, what then? Would I just end up with a severance package? And then there was the question of what department would cover my costs of relocation/repatriation…if I had no department or job to return to, where would all this be billed?

When I got back from Greece (just a week and a half ago) I expected that most of these things would be sorted. They weren’t. In fact it didn’t seem that they were any closer to being resolved than they were when I left.

So right now I’m down to my last week of being here. I work Monday through Wednesday. The movers are coming to pack and load on Thursday and Friday. My plane ticket is for next Sunday. And I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know if I have a job or not…if so, what would I be doing and where? And if not, what severance (if any) will I get? Should I really be focusing my efforts on finding another position, or should I wait and see what happens with this situation? There are just so many unknowns right now which prevent me from making any sort of plans for when I get home. I’m doing my best to not become too stressed about it, but it’s been really really hard… Especially considering that my main supports here are either on vacation or they’ve left the company. I feel extremely helpless…like my hands are tied and there’s nothing to do but sit and wait… And when you’re waiting to find out such major things, it’s a little unnerving to say the least!

Ultimately I know that everything will work out… God has His plan and He has my best interest in mind. Of this I’m sure. But I’ve gotta be honest and say that as much as I want to relax and rest in these facts, it’s a lot easier said than done. Sometimes it seems that it’s easier to believe something than to feel it…I guess it’s the difference between head and heart.

Which brings me to the reason for this letter: To ask you all to take 5 minutes and really pray about this whole situation for me. Pray that all these questions will be answered early next week so I’ll maybe have at least a few days to figure out my plan for when I return. Pray also that I will really feel God’s hand in all this and be able to rely on Him and not doubt or worry (regardless of when these issues are resolved).

I would really really really appreciate your support… I’m feeling pretty alone here right now so knowing that you all are praying will mean the world to me.

Thanks everyone!

Waiting

Still no word…in fact, I haven’t heard anything at all in two days.  I’m trying very hard to not feel discouraged, but it’s difficult and I feel discouraged anyway.  Especially today for some reason.  Maybe it’s hormonal…who knows.  I was hopefully going to have an interview tonight over the phone with this company (Temenos).  Online they look like a fantastic company.  The HR manager was supposed to call by 7:30pm ET, but she hasn’t yet and I kind of don’t expect her to at this point.

I’m a little sad today…I don’t know if it’s because my leaving is starting to really sink in a little.  Julie & Fred took off today for Sweden.  When we said goodbye yesterday, I didn’t really feel like it was goodbye.  However, today when I got home, I felt it a little more…like when I remembered Julie wasn’t home and so I couldn’t call her.  Robert and I were talking about it today as well…just feeling like I’m not really going anywhere.  I think in part it’s due to the fact that I’m so preoccupied with trying to get my plans sorted out.  I want to cry, but I can’t even seem to do that!

I get so tired of being alone.  I want to have someone to spend my life with…someone to go through this kind of stuff with…someone to share all my thoughts and feelings with…someone to hug.  Julie said yesterday, “I wish I had hugged you more.”  I wish she had too.

I’m excited to get back to America though!  I can’t wait to be around all the things I know and love and have missed this past year.  It’s true that I’ve come to love and appreciate things here in the UK, but it still isn’t really “home” in the same way the US is…and I want to go home.

Right now I need to go to bed though.  The HR chick is apparently not going to be calling tonight.

What’s Next

I’ve been sitting here looking over some of the things I wrote back in August when I first moved out here (to the UK) and I have to say that I wish I had looked over those things more than I have.  I’m done here now.  I’m leaving.  My last work day is the 31st.  I don’t know where I’m going to what I’m doing, but I’m excited…out with the old, I guess.

It’s just all a little overwhelming right now.

The funny thing is that I’m not actually scared…should I be?  I was scared when I got here.  I’ve been lonely and discouraged at times, but I’m still thankful for having had this opportunity and what a growing time this has been!  My eyes have been opened and I definitely see things in a different light than I did when my world was only really the size of about 50 states.

The only question I have now is, what’s next?