Unless you’re intimately familiar with the soundtrack for “Little Shop of Horrors” you may not recognize the title of the blog entry as being that of the song from the Broadway play. It’s actually not a bad portrayal of why so many fear the dentist – myself among them.

I’m writing about this because I tend to try and write about anything that troubles me in an attempt to give myself therapy of sorts.

As you may have guessed, I’m headed tomorrow to the dentist. I had my first (and hopefully last) root canal about a week and a half ago and now I have to go in so they can finish the job…like one full day of pain wasn’t enough, I have to go back for more.

To be fair, my dentist is really a nice guy. He’s very gentle and has a good bed-side…or rather chair-side manner – for example, I was in so much pain for the day or so following the first visit, he actually called me a few days later at work to see how I was doing. Still, the fact that I like my dentist does not seem to lessen my anxiety about going back to see him.

So you guys can pray for me! The appointment is for 8:30 tomorrow morning. The odds of my freaking out completely are slim since I’ll be given “the gas” which is a wonderful thing… The Gas makes everything okay. When I’m on it, I think they could probably amputate my arm and I wouldn’t mind. It’s fantastic, however it does wear off and when it does, I’m left with a half-numb face (which I seem exceedingly prone to gnaw on without realizing it) and feeling as though I’ve been smacked around a bit.

For now I’ll leave you with these lyrics from “Dentist!”

When I was young and just a bad little kid,
My momma noticed funny things I did.
Like shootin’ puppies with a BB-Gun.
I’d poison guppies, and when I was done,
I’d find a pussy-cat and bash in it’s head.
That’s when my momma said…
(What did she say?)
She said my boy I think someday
You’ll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay… You’ll be a dentist.
You have a talent for causing things pain!
Son, be a dentist.
People will pay you to be inhumane!