To begin with, I’d like to thank Mike Myers of multiple venue fame for providing the world with one of the few quotes out there that refer to Scotland so that I could use it as my title. My reason for needing one such quote will reveal itself shortly.
I got an email from the guy I mentioned to you all from eHarmony. Not sure if I said before, but his name is Alex. In some ways he reminds me a lot of this guy Janelle and I knew in Alaska named Forest - yes, as in “Gump” - he hated it when people would say that to him! Of course he probably preferred that to being called “Hunter” which was how Jel once referred to him accidentally (good times!)
Anyway, one of the things about being friends with Forest was that Jel and I got to go to all these black tie swarays and cocktail parties. This may have had more to do with the fact that he had a thing for Jel (her aura was irresistible to men in those days), but sometimes I got to join in the reaping of benefits, so party on. Because of Forest, I went to more black tie events in Alaska than I have anywhere else…in fact, I don’t know that I’ve been to ANY since leaving AK!
So you probably know where this is going…
Alex asked if I’d like to go with him to a black tie gala this Friday for the Scottish Heritage Society in Philly. Sounds like fun, right? He has a table with about 30 of his friends and has invited me as a friend (so as not to get under the whole dating-pressure-thing which we discussed in detail and both agreed was not a fun way to spend an evening). I can’t say at this point that I actually think I’m interested in him as anything more than a friend either, so it works out well for all involved.
In any case, of course now I’m stuck trying to find something to wear… I hardly have anything that would qualify for such a night in my closet, and then when you weed out the things I couldn’t squeeze into without slathering on olive oil first, my options are even slimmer (no pun intended). What’s ironic is that my dress from Jo’s wedding 3 years ago still fits (albeit barely) while my dress from Kris’s wedding last June doesn’t. I think it has something to do with the fact that when I gain weight, a lot of it goes into my…shall we say, upper-half. While this may not necessarily be a bad thing (depending on who you talk to), it really doesn’t help when trying on dresses. Naturally the dress from K’s wedding would better match the event. Sigh.
So now what?
Well, for one thing, I’m going on a diet. For the next 4 days I’ll eat enough to keep me alive, but that’s about it. My hope is to lose at least a pound or two which would help, if only a little.
I’m also going to try and shoot over to the mall on Thursday and see if I can’t find something there. I figure if I wait until Thursday, if I’m able to lose any weight, I’ll have done it by then and so that would be the best time to try things on.
Just to feed you a little more detail, the event begins at 6:30 with cocktails (open bar) and dinner starting at 8:00. I figure I’ll be home by midnight-ish. Other than that, Alex sent me some pictures of other people he knows who will be there with a little background snippet on each so I’ll be ahead of the game going in.
All-in-all it sounds like a good time and I’m looking forward to it. I’ll be sure to blog later after the fact…in the meantime, you can all pray that my excess poundage that I’ve managed to pack on will somehow melt away by Friday… Hey, it’s not so far-fetched - God created the universe, parted the Red Sea, raised the dead, and made a barren woman pregnant after all…this request would be a cake-walk for Him! 
So off I go to raid my pantry and toss out anything containing calories and fat…or perhaps I should run down to the store and get some Scottish food in preparation for Friday. Wonder how many Weight Watchers points a serving of haggis would be?
