I have received a very rude awakening recently when it comes to banks. Please understand first of all that, primarily due to my job, for the past 10 years I have always done all of my “banking” through a brokerage firm. So my checking, my savings, my investing, everything has been handled by a non-bank entity. What I am finding is that I’ve had it good.

Last October this all changed. The branch office which had been located in my work building for the brokerage was moved so it suddenly became less convenient to make deposits into my account because it would a drive and could only be done during regular business hours. If my only source of deposits were paychecks, this would not be a big deal, but I also have rental income. So I decided that, rather than be forced to visit the branch office, I would just open a local bank account so I could easily make deposits through the ATM and on weekends. Sounds like a good plan, right?

So I shopped around a bit and decided to open an account with Bank of America. They were conveniently located all across the country as well as around the corner. All was well for the first few months and then I made a deposit - my regular monthly deposit, I might add - and inexplicably, they put a delay on the funds for 10 business days. That’s 10 BUSINESS days which is otherwise known as 2 weeks! What the heck?! I called to protest and request information as to why they put such a delay on, but they couldn’t tell me. “This was an ATM deposit,” I was told, “and so we can’t see why there was a delay added to those funds, but you should be receiving a letter in the mail explaining.” (Incidentally, I did receive the letter AFTER the delay was lifted and still it gave no reason for the delay).

After that (and a few other minor infractions), I decided that I was going to close my B of A account. I removed all funds and opened an account instead with PNC (which so far has been a pleasant experience). All I had left to do with B of A was actually go in and close the thing. And then yesterday happened.

There is a recurring charge that hits my account every quarter. I thought - in fact, I’m sure - that I changed the card for the charge to my brokerage debit from my B of A debit, but apparently it didn’t take. Since I had not yet closed the B of A account, the charge hit yesterday causing my flat account to go into an overdraft.

First off, I was completely aggravated by the fact that B of A would approve a charge coming through on an account that had no money in it. Why on earth would that do that? What kind of business sense does that make? I called. I complained. I was met with bizarre excuses such as, “The card machines have no way of knowing how much money you have in your account.” Um…what? Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? You’re joking, right? What do you mean they don’t know? You mean I could run over to the ATM and pull up my account balance electronically, but that the electronic machine at the vendor doesn’t have access to that same data? Ridiculous. It’s not like it was a paper check that came through - it was a charge on a card with a $0 account balance that had been $0 for at LEAST 3 weeks.

The rudest part of my awakening came in discussing this whole debacle with my sister last night. “All banks do that, Deb,” she told me. “They make a ton of money off fees and that’s how they do it - by approving things they shouldn’t approve so your account gets thrown into overdraft and then they can charge you $35 or whatever. It’s also how they sell overdraft protection through a savings account…or better yet, a credit card.” (Danger, Will Robinson!)

I was dumbstruck. Seriously. I had no idea. MY “bank” (read: brokerage) doesn’t do that. In fact, even if you were about to go into an overdraft, they’ll call you first and see if you can bring a deposit in. If you can, they’ll go ahead and pass the check or charge or whatever it is coming through. No fees.

I wish I could say the saga ends there, but alas.

So I had a wire transfer sent FROM my primary brokerage account over to B of A so that the freakish-never-should-have-happened overdraft would be covered immediately and would you believe that B of A has managed to charged me AGAIN - $12 for an INCOMING wire transfer!!! I mean COME ON people! Why on EARTH would they charge me for INCOMING transfers? WHY? Is that standard bank practice across the board too? I’ve NEVER heard of such a thing. Ever. I would expect to be charged when SENDING a wire transfer - that makes sense. But RECEIVING one?! What kind of insane business model is that?

That’s it for me. I’m done with banks.