So I’m being stalked.  By a man.  He sits in my cube all day long and says things to me.  Weird things.  Creepy things.  Did I mention he’s uber-shallow?  In fact, he’s only two-dimensional.  Did I mention that he was a picture? I’m not entirely sure, but I think his name might be Kenneth.

He’s what remains of a practical joke myself and a coworker (Ed) played on another coworker (Matt).

Matt had gone on vacation, so Ed and I decided to replace all of Matt’s various family photos with the weirdest ones we could find.  Ed struck gold on the Internet and came in with some real winners.  When Matt came back, naturally he noticed pretty quickly and we all had a good laugh, but one of the photos continues to pop back up periodically.

Kenneth and his caterpillar-like mustache’s most recent appearance (and possibly his new permanent home) is located peeking up over the wall of my cube from Matt’s.  He strategically placed himself above the corner of my whiteboard so that he can give me a quote du jour.  Among the things he’s said so far:

  • “Hey baby, how ’bout a date?”
  • “I am dumb as a rock.”
  • “You have yourself a nice weekend, doll.  Call me!”
  • “Did you get the memo?”

Anyway, I just wanted to share this little bit of my daytime cubical existence.  Below I managed to capture a photo to help you visualize the creepiness – apparently Kenneth is bilingual.  Good times.

The Man in the Cube