The other did the over the top lovey dovey thing and I fell for it hook line and sinker. I sent that man so many pictures of me. It’s not even funny. full body shots with jeans, shorts, tight shirts, loose shirts, dresses. Up close pics, pics with me with no makeup on. He lived 4 hours away from me so I was reluctant to converse with him to begin with so I wanted to make sure he really knew what I was like! I told him I needed to lose 20 pounds. I told him I had freckles and a crooked toe! LOL

For 3 weeks he laid it on thick to the point where I even thought, I don’t care what this man looks like, he’s my soul mate. I mean I didn’t say it out loud but I thought it. I kept telling him he better be for real. He would say over and over again that I was an angel God sent to him and he would tell me that a woman with such a beautiful soul if worth something and what my ex husband lost is his gain. He also told me that I “deserve to be happy” like my friends and that he will “treat me like the lady I am”

When we finally met, I had told him that he was different and I was very scared that he was going to break my heart because I had intense feelings for him. He loved every second of it, I swear. He drives up and he looks amazing. We hug and he kisses me and we spend the day and night together like we’ve known each other forever but there’s missing pieces, ya know? Like we go to walk into the hotel (we met half way) and he doesn’t carry my bag. When we get into his car, he hops in his side and doesn’t open the door for me. He orders drinks and dinner before me. These are all things that he just completely lacked but was willing to overlook because he was so loving in other ways. Well the next day he dropped me off to my car early. Then he calls me once and blows me off the next few times I call him. So odd since, like you, he usually texted by 20+ times a day and talked to me for hours every night.

I had a tissy fit on him when my mother found his mug shot online and he called me the next day to council me on why everyone who has been arrested is not “bad.” well they are if they lie to me about it, I said! Then I find his cousin’s picture on the same online dating website with the same car and the same suit he’s wearing in his pictures! I tried to call him out on it but he denied it and haven’t talked to him since.

Bottom line is that online dating SUCKS! It does! Going to a bar sucks too. I have no idea how I will find someone but this is not it. Good Luck ladies!

The internet is good for researching and buying a toaster, but not for finding a partner. It has what a male friend of mine calls “the illusion of choice”. Everyone seems to be there to trade up.

If one in five people who are dating met online…it means your odds are much better OFFLINE! Take the $$ you save and ask an attractive man out for a steak dinner.

I can understand why older men might not want to marry…but they don’t even seem interested in having a girlfriend! Just FwB. Internet dating will steal your respect for the opposite sex and ruin your own self esteem. Avoid it like you would avoid curdled milk.

i took the plunge and met a man online, and we communicated via guided contact on the site, everything went “well”, we had chemistry and we met. i thought he could be “the one” given his behavior, the way he treated me, his consideration for me, the way he acted when he was around me. well it turns out, email was to remain our main form of communication over our whole relatinoship.. i had to convince him to make a phone call every now and then. he stated to me he had never been “comfortable” on the phone. and that’s not all, no sex either, nope, he has a fear of impregnating women and ending up a father before his time. this is a single 40 year old man who works on wall street by the way. and not only that, but his idea of a hard and steady relationship was the one day a week i saw him on weekends, yes that was hot and heavy for him..

so socially inept, neurotic, social anxiety perhaps? a man like this would never really have much sucess with real women in “real life” even though i recognize he was wonderful in his own ways, he was interesting, he had good taste, he was a neurotic mess, his unwillingless to trust, to open up, to change, it was nervewracking. it was exhausting, and in the end i just feel happy to be free of this man,e ven though i will miss some of the things we did together.

i believe alot of these men conveniently forget to list these things, and y es, t here is a reason that quite a bit of them are BEHIND that pc and not OUT in the forefront meeting women.

So instead of asking what people think of him and his lack of manners, you need to take a look at your own gulliblity – do you really want a guy who is so into fantasy trips that he before he even meets you he is doing all these over the top things? You got caught up in his fantasy and created one of your own.

Truthfully, do you really want a man to tell you he is not interested in you? If he does not call you, that is the answer. And do you really want a whole bunch of male friends, or are you looking to meet the one and will leave any male friends by the way side as soon as that guy shows up.

I wrote an article that you can find at http://ezinearticles.com/?Seven-Dating-Detours-Women-Make-on-the-Road-to-True-Love-and-Commitment&id=1746754 in case you want to check out some thoughts on dating. In the meantime, pay attention to what they do and don’t do before you meet them and don’t allow yourself to go off on a trip with them to never never land.

Rainey

When I was ready to try another relationship, I read everything I could get my hands on about Internet dating, and it was made to seem the “modern” thing to do. So about a year into my singlehood, I posted a profile with a professional portrait, as generally recommended for daters (both male and female) my age. OK, so the photographer whitened my teeth a little and added about 3 eyelashes–but men seemed to take this photo and superimpose their wildest dreams on it, so that the disappointment on first seeing me and realizing I’m not a 20-year-old movie star was hard to endure.

I really only ever had two real dates–one who was looking for a drinking buddy–he said he like me because I own a house, not like the others with their apartments– and the other was just too “hard to get” with up to 4 months between emails (he didn’t ‘like’ phone calls). Another fellow asked me out to dinner but–long story with lots of hanging around waiting–there never was a dinner. I left. Some of them, upon seeing me, were polite and friendly but very obviously thought they could do better, and most of them just wanted somebody to email for a while and wanted nothing to do with meeting.

So I packed it in and concentrated on my social life. It’s fun, and it meets a lot of my needs, but it’s not dating.

Recently I tried a profile with “natural” photos snapped in the office and during sport activities–some of them make me look like a movie star–but I received not one response. WTF? US census figures show that 8 in 1,000 men can expect to marry someone 20 years younger; 128 in 1000 can expect to marry someone 6 to 9 years younger–assuming they make $30k to $40 k more than she does. And they also say that men who marry much younger women don’t do it twice. I have to confess that when I have erotic dreams, they’re not about an aging, irritable man with grey hair (if any), receding gums, chicken legs, and E.D. I understand. I get that. But isn’t a partnership with an equal at least an option?

It seems to me that women do not understand that in the end we will be responsible for our own fulfillment. There will not always be somebody else (children or partners) to justify our existence, give our lives shape and meaning, be our responsibility, and fill our days. It seems that now I am my own responsibility, it’s up to me to find a meaning for my life.

Ladies, you WILL be alone, if not now, then soon enough. Women are widows on average for 16 years. All women. There are 4 old women for every old man; it’s only natural they would expect you to qualify yourself to them, even if they’re not outright exploiters. Find another reason to live.

So, picture the perfect lover. In detail. The companionship and warmth, the strength and chivalry, the energy and imagination, the generosity and backing, the intelligence and depth, the integrity and trustworthiness, the kindness and humour, the support and encouragement, the example and model that brings out the best in you; the commitment and love you deserve. The one who will FINALLY always be there for you and will never betray you no matter what. This person is YOU.

I do hope I have the brains and self control not to give dating sites any more money.

I’ve also tried on-line dating and I’m still single so I guess I haven’t been too successful at it. But technically I have, sort of, depending on how you look at it. I’ll explain; My on-line dating efforts have not yet produced a long term or permanent relationship. However, I have met quite a lot of attractive women. So, if my goal was to meet and go out with a lot of single girls, I was wildly successful. If my goal was to meet my future wife or at least long-term girlfriend, then no, didn’t make that happen. You would think that sheer numbers and the law of averages would eventually catch up with me. I mean if I find 25 potential matches, talk to 12 of those and meet up with 6 of them, I would find someone to spark up a mutual attraction with. For whatever reasons, it doesn’t work like that. For the most part, my on-line dating experiences are very similar if not identical to those of you gals who have been writing about it.

I do think the women aren’t exactly fair about it though. Here’s why:

Bad experiences in on-line dating aren’t reserved for women. Us guys meet freaks, losers, psychos & liars too. Women always ask, why aren’t there any normal guys out there? Us guys ask the same thing, why aren’t there any normal women out there? The problem is, there are a lot of freaks & kooks out in the world and lots of them have computers. It has nothing to do with gender.

I object to the words, “all, every, always & never” when women describe men. Come on, we’re not all bad. We don’t “always” do the wrong thing “every” time and “never” measure up. It’s not fair to those of us who really are a good catch.

“All guys want is to get laid.” Really? Hummm, not true. There are plenty of horny women on line and they are aggressive. They were with me anyway. Some of them are downright scary. If you think on-line dating is just a feeding ground for players trolling for their next conquest, it goes both ways for both genders. I’ve had women e-mail me “ice breakers” that would make a sailor blush. It’s not just the gals who get that. Personally, I’d like to meet someone to go places and have fun with who is also someone I like to be around. That’s it for me and that has nothing to do with sex. That comes when it comes and if it isn’t for a month or more, I really don’t care. Sex is a necessary element and yes, it has to be good if not great but it isn’t the only thing and there is no reason to push for it on the second date. But that’s just me.

Maybe I’m an exception but I’m somewhat decent looking, I work out & I’m tan, etc. I own my own business & I’ve written a few books too so I guess I’m moderately successful. I’m not putting myself out there, I’m simply saying that maybe women see me as someone who stands out among the older, overweight, nerds & geeks who are on-line. I don’t know. For whatever the reasons, I was overwhelmed with responses from women to my profiles on Match and Yahoo. Of course 99% of them were crazy, dangerous, hideous, toothless, homeless, alcoholic, drug addicted, losers and freaks. Weeding all of them out and connecting with the ones who weren’t took a lot of work.

I think it’s all been eloquently summed up numerous times in previous posts, “dating sucks”. It’s just a lot of wasted time, hard work, hard feelings and disappointments. Still, I think we (us single people) will eventually make it and one by one find our own happiness. We have to remain optimistic!

JW

All I can assume is that the guys on those websites are abnormally superficial. If you aren’t their exact fantasy, they quickly move on someone else without notice. And not to sound like some kind of hypocrite, but that’s the very reason some of them are single.

One of my biggest beefs with the whole process is that I feel that the online venue allows for people who might otherwise lack the social skills to enter into a dating relationship in the normal course of life.

From my online dating experiences both personal and via girlfriends, I think that a lot of the men who utilize online dating sites see them as meat markets. They browse, shop and discard with no thought about the fact that there is another person with feelings on the other end. A lot of the men who go to these sites are looking solely for sex. I would almost bet that about 75% of them are there for a hookup. So in a nutshell, I do think these sites do attract socially inept neanderthals. I don’t see the point in paying for these services. Especially e-harmony which charges something like $50. Your chances of meeting the socially inept are just as good on free sites such as okcupid, plenty of fish or myspace which are free.

I have had one date – a disaster would be an understatement. In her profile she:
1 – Loved her job – turned out she hated it and was going part time
2 – was of average build – okay, since when is 50 lbs overweight (her estimate) average, I call myself average and I am 6′ 1″ and 205 lbs – and can still see my toes when I stand:)

Too many silly memories of it to publish all.

So – the problem is, I guess, we can give up on what we want, or bear the lunatics with a smile. Sadly, having the ability to hide behind the inetrnet has either brought out the nut cases, or simply encourages some incredibly bad manners.

Personally – I am going to stick with it for a bit longer