That phrase really epitomizes the awkward things we sometimes blurt out after an event where we don’t really know what to say.  When faced with situations like that, chances are the reason we don’t know what to say is because there isn’t anything we CAN say.

In the midst of the horrific tragedy this week that has affected so many people I love, I certainly don’t know what to say.  I don’t know what to do or how to feel either.  I’ve been trying to sort it out in my head, but being verbal processor, when I don’t know what else to do, I write.  So here I am.

Most of you guys reading this probably know about the climbers that were lost on Mount Hood last weekend – Luke Gullberg, Anthony Vietti, and Katie Nolan.  I didn’t personally know any of them, but Katie Nolan had been a member of my church when she lived here in Philly.  Understand that when I say “member” I don’t just mean someone who shows up on Sundays. Katie was deeply involved and richly connected with a lot of the people that I now am privileged to also call my friends.  I have heard nothing but the most heart-felt accolades from everyone I know who had come into contact with her.  The picture I have gotten is one of her as a beautiful, amazing, and dynamic individual.  She clearly loved Jesus, people, and life in general.  Katie was very special.

Right now, I’m struggling to figure out exactly where I fit into the landscape on this one.  After all, I didn’t know Katie.  She wasn’t a part of my life. I didn’t experience her.  And because of that, I feel almost as though I don’t have a right to be as upset as I am.  As if there’s only so much grief to go around and I’m somehow robbing someone of theirs who is more deserving of that emotion.  Of course when I say it like that, it sounds ridiculous, but it’s still how I feel.  But not only is this just one of the most terrible tragedies, the fact that it’s such a public tragedy puts a completely surreal layer on it.  There aren’t words to describe just how weird it is to have something like this actually hit so close.

So why do I feel so profoundly sad?  How can I so easily be brought to tears over this?  I’ve been thinking about it some and I believe the answer is complicated (go figure) but I’ll do my best try and put it into words…I need to.

First and most obviously, my heart breaks for my friends – Katie’s friends – who knew her and know the true extent of what was lost when she disappeared on that mountain.  I hurt so deeply for them, so much so that it’s as if my soul aches.

I also feel a very personal sense of loss at being cheated out of an opportunity to know Katie.  One of Katie’s closest friends here had told me about her on more than one occasion under the heading of “I think you guys would really hit it off.”  Since the tragedy, others have said the same.  From everything I’ve seen, heard, and read about Katie, I would have to agree.  We certainly seem to have had a lot in common, and her adventurous spirit naturally resonated with me.  I want to have known her, but now I won’t get the chance.  And I definitely feel like I’m the one who lost out.

I feel the most heartsick for one of my friends who was particularly close to Katie.  If I were to lose either of my best friends in such a way as this, I don’t know what I would do.  I would probably shutdown.  I might even disintegrate completely.  At the very least, I wouldn’t be able to properly function for awhile…a LONG while.  Thinking about her, I can’t even wrap my head around how she must feel…  What do you do with that?  How do you respond in the awkward space filled with shock and grief?  Probably best to not rely on Hallmark cards to lead the charge. I hate clichés which mean little when things are going well, let alone when a piece of your world has been ripped away.  And I wouldn’t dare try to speculate on what God’s plan might be in all this because…well…I’m not God.  So I sit and pray and think and cry because it’s all I really can do.

And so that’s it for now.  I can’t really think of anything else to say, so before I blurt out something stupid, I’ll just end with this:

We live in a broken, messed-up world and sometimes the things that happen in it really suck.  But at the end of the day, God is still exactly who He says He is, and He will do exactly what He says He will do.  So we can rest knowing that He is at work and one day “He will wipe every tear from [our] eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” (Revelation 21:4).

Right now we are in the midst of the season of Advent.  The season of waiting that leads up to the initial entrance of Jesus into the world.  Emmanuel.  God With Us.  Our Living Hope.  He came the first time to save us.  And we can live in hope and ultimate peace knowing that He will come again to completely redeem us and this screwed up world of ours.

You can hang your hat on that – Katie, Luke, and Anthony did.

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“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun.  Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious.  You could break a bone or a heart.  You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you.  And in life, there’s no safety net.  When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & the City

Okay, so I wanted to do a little…well…talking, I suppose.  And I didn’t want to put it out on the blog without a password because I’m not entirely sure that the guy I’m talking about hasn’t discovered this blog yet.  My plan originally was not to tell him about it, but alas I sent an email that had a link to it at the bottom (oops) and so I’m not certain that he didn’t see it and click on it thereby rendering all things posted as potentially unsafe.

[UPDATE:  Since we are now several months past this whole event, I have removed the password and changed the names to protect the innocent so I feel there's no longer any danger in making this visible to the world.]

I should probably begin by explaining how, around my birthday I had a moment of pure optimism and rejoined eHarmony for the first time in over 2 years.  I’m sure I just made Cbo’s head explode or at the very least, her skin crawl with that statement.  Honestly, I can’t say that I disagree with either of those responses.  In fact the first couple of days, the only matches I received were balding men in their late-40’s who looked for the most part like they either had a bunch of bodies hidden in the freezer, still live at home with mom & dad, or some combination of both.  However, now 3 weeks later, there have been a few thrown across my match page which actually managed to catch my attention.

Only two of them have I actually gotten all the way to emailing with so far.  One of them is 2 months out of a 4 year relationship and while I know that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not ready for another one, he did bring up his ex twice in the first phone conversation we had prompting me to ask how long the relationship had been over for.  That doesn’t bode well and I can’t ignore the little robot inside me screaming “Danger, Will Robinson!” while waving red flags.

The other one of the two is who really intrigued me.

For the sake of privacy, I’ll just call him H.  H is 39, lives in Massachusetts, and has lived a very VERY interesting existence up to this point.  In our conversation last night (which lasted over 2 hours) I found myself shocked that this guy was still single.  He doesn’t seem to be emotionally stunted.  Nor does he appear to be socially inept.  He doesn’t spend his weekends LARPing.  He’s not a closet serial killer, and he assured me that he’s not gay (although I’m not sure why he felt the need to assure me of that) and has never before been married.

But…I can’t help think there’s got to be SOMETHING.  Something about this guy has got to be off…  He’s good-looking (or at least that’s what I pick up from his photos and just some other in-between-the-lines indicators), he’s got a family he loves, he’s insanely upfront and open, and by all counts appears to be just one of those “good guys” you always read about.  So…where’s that other shoe that surely about to drop right on my head?  I have no idea…at least not yet.

Now I’m not typically this skeptical…  In fact, more often than not, I’m the glass-is-half-full girl, however in the realm of dating (ESPECIALLY online dating), I tend towards being cautious.  I can’t help it.  I think anyone would who’s been burned as often as I have would be.  I’ve actually lost count of how many guys I’ve had great phone conversations with, but who turned out to be total duds in person.  I also have had others seem as great in person as they were on the phone only to never be heard from again after our meet-and-greet.  One even was amazing on email, practically proposing to me on the phone, but then when it came time to meet up in person, he completely freaked out and couldn’t go through with it.  Still others were not even interested enough to venture into a phone conversation.

That’s just a taste of my experiences in this arena – can you blame me therefore if I look at these new guys a little sideways?  The wounds are no longer raw from these other idiots in my past, but the scars are still there.

H’s story, as best I can summarize, is that he’s spent the majority of his life living and/or traveling all over the world (sound like anyone you know?)  He was in the Air Force working as a photojournalist.  About a year or so ago he was struck by a drunk driver and suffered a near-broken back.  The last year he’s spent in physical therapy getting back to himself.  He was unfortunately forced to give up his job since he couldn’t lift a can of coke let alone a camera bag, and so he ended up taking a job with a company in Mass. which focuses on technology program management (which sounds very similar to what I do with project management).

From what else I can gather, he’s smart, very articulate, extremely trusting, and doesn’t appear to have any unabomber tendencies.  Even though I don’t see any glaring red flags as yet, I think there is a potential yellow or orange one.  One of the questions he posed to me before we got into the whole open-emailing phase was centered around how I felt about opposite gender close friends.  We discussed this a little further last night since I had a hard time answering that question with the multiple choice selection, and I was sure there must be some driving force behind him asking it in the first place.  Turns out one of his best friends is a woman.  We didn’t discuss at length since it’s nothing I felt needed to be talked over in an initial phone conversation.  Neither would I care unless we became seriously involved.  Essentially I feel that if I were to end up in a serious relationship/marriage with any guy, I would expect that the most intimate relationship in my and his life would be ours.  I would think it strange if I got married and my best friend continued to be some guy I knew that wasn’t my husband…and I would hope my husband would think that would be strange as well!  Call me crazy, but I’ve seen relationships torn apart over less.  I’m not saying it would be an issue, but just that it could be.  However, it’s also not something I’m particularly concerned with right now – just one more reason for caution.

So that’s all the news…at least for now.  Looks like I may actually get to meet him as early as May.  I was going up to Boston anyway to hang w/S and the girls over that weekend so H might come and take me out for dinner.  I’ll be sure to keep you guys posted.

Oh the post title?  Yeah, that was just a reminder to myself to remain cautious, but not be timid.  Cross the road, just make sure you look both ways.

XOXO

Sidebar: I just was distracted by watching Chena bury some item of great value (at least to her) in the folds of a towel on the floor. But it’s cool, she’s a dog. It’s what she does. Still, kinda funny.

Anyway, despite my little online explosion the other day, I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m really doing pretty well – this especially for those of you who don’t see me all that often and might not know what to think when I don’t post for weeks and then suddenly come out with a message like I did on Monday.

But I’m good. I’m busy, I’m happy, I love my dog, I’m healthy, I have hardwood floors, I have a new patio door, I’m getting a new patio to go with it next week, and I’m employed. I’ve been thinking it over the past couple of days and decided that, despite any guy thing (or lack thereof) I’m not about to be bullied by happiness.

I should probably explain that last statement.

Dave Ramsey says in one of our FPU lessons (and he may have been quoting someone else, I don’t know) that if you’re not careful, happiness can become a “bully in a schoolyard”. Always drawing a line in the sand, but as soon as you step over that line – as soon as you obtain what you’re after – it moves. But happiness is not really the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Happiness is where you are right now, regardless of incidentals.

I think I started to learn this lesson somewhat when I was in England. I was frustrated with being in the UK – especially being so far out in the middle of nowhere. But I also knew that it was a good time in my life…something I would look back on and appreciate – although there were many times when I couldn’t wait to be “looking back” on it instead of living it! Still, I knew that this was the case, so I made a concerted effort to find things that I loved and appreciated about Leamington, Warwickshire, and the UK in general. Even now, I think back on that time and remember fondly my fabulous flat on Clarendon Square, the amazing Irish butter, Muellers Crumble Corners, riding my bike to work, walking everywhere, taking weekend trips into Europe, being so close to Stratford that I had a membership with the Royal Shakespeare Company at a “locals” rate… I could go on and on. So despite the fact that it was rough year (and I know I complained a lot), I still could appreciate it and still do. So much so that I’d go back for the right opportunity.

That whole concept of completing the phrase, “Happiness is [fill in the blank]” is really kinda difficult to do. Happiness is…uh…what? How can you define happiness if it’s a moving target? And there’s the rub.

Happiness isn’t that thing just out of reach. It’s not the marriage and kids you don’t have. It’s not the job you wished you’d gotten. It’s not the car you drive (or wish you drove). Neither is happiness a particular thing that happens once or many times over. Happiness is now. Happiness just IS.

If we don’t stop tying our happiness to the having or attaining of specific things, we’ll always be bullied by it and we’ll never find true contentment.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that sure, I’m missing some stuff from my life that I’d like to have, but ultimately, those missing items don’t necessarily detract from my ability to still see and enjoy and love and find happiness in where I am right now.

Paul said it like this in Philippians 4:11 – “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”

Rock on Paul. That’s what I’m talking about.

Janelle’s thoughts on this were the most encouraging. I think she said that, in all the time she’s known me, she’s never seen me have this good of a relationship with a guy I wasn’t dating. We’re just friends…and good friends at that, at least I think we are. I feel incredibly comfortable with him, and I think he feels the same with me. We’re alike enough to have things to talk about, but different enough to be interesting. He makes me laugh – and vice versa (always good to find someone who appreciates my sometimes-insane sense of humor). I feel like I could say just about anything to him, and again vice versa (I think).

The agony is two-fold.

On the one hand, as I said, we most likely have no future. I also have horrible luck with men. The ones I like usually don’t like me back – or if they do, chances are there’s something terribly wrong with them that only time will reveal. The ones that do like me are usually desperados who mistake my being nice for romantic interest (the LARPer springs to mind). There is a part of me that REALLY wants to know whether there is any interest on his side or not…although I’m not sure which response would be worse.

Allow me to explain.

If the answer is that he likes me too, well then I’m faced with what to do with that when getting involved with him would be a potentially slippery slope into a place I don’t know if I really want to be. At the same time, this would be a nice ego boost – everyone wants to be wanted, after all.

If the answer is that no, he isn’t interested in me as anything more than a friend, then I think I would be more hurt than I have been in a long, long time. I mean, what could be worse than someone who knows you incredibly well then decides that they don’t have any interest in who you really are. It’s one thing to have someone reject you who doesn’t really know you. It’s another matter altogether to be rejected by someone who does. Call me crazy, but THAT is not something I particularly want to face.

Where do I go from here? I have no idea. I love what Jel had to say when we spoke last night – she’s so encouraging. But at the end of the day, caring about someone only seems to amplify feelings of loneliness and my desire to share my life and experiences with someone which I’m otherwise pretty much able to ignore.

Talk about a rock & a hard place.

So…now what?

Here’s the Reader’s Digest version as best as I can tell it…

I am (or was?) going out to Seattle to help Janelle & Sean with some logistical issues that cropped up last minute which were potentially going to keep them going on their long-overdue honeymoon.  I am of course MORE than happy to help them out – the only hurdle being…you guess it…work.

Rather than being forced to take a week & a half vacation time off work, it struck me that there really is no reason I couldn’t just work while I’m there.  After all, my friends wouldn’t be around so I would have flexible scheduling during the day with early mornings & evenings free.  Practically tailor-made time for getting stuff done!

Now here’s the rub: Major events taking place in our department this month which include a big project on the table that I’ve been placed in charge of threaten my ability to be as flexible and mobile as I might otherwise be.  (Figures)

This was also something I did not foresee when originally posed with the question last Monday which was in the middle of All Things Christmas and therefore there was no discussion to be had about it in the office until all management returned from their respective vacations.

I did bring it up to management first thing yesterday. I brought it up again at the end of the day. Both times being met with a, “Let me think about it” response. If I hadn’t already been teetering on the edge of insanity, that just about pushed me over.

Time was becoming increasingly important in terms of being able to get a ticket and work out all of the other logistics.  To say I was a little antsy would be the first major understatement of 2009.  I hate feeling like I have no control over decisions like this in my own life.  But the truth is that, unless you work for yourself (which I plan to someday!) your employer really does own your time in many ways.

So then today I re-approached the situation with the intent of expressing the need for a “best guess” decision since a plane ticket was riding on the response. I proposed two options my favorite being where they would approve me working remotely until Tuesday (2/3) when Sean & Jel returned where I could then take off the rest of the week and so get some visiting time in before coming home myself.  The other option was that I would not work, but would then need to leave the same day S&J returned so I could be back in the office by Wednesday, 2/4.

Earlier this afternoon I got my answer:  Neither.  Instead, they would approve me to work remotely for one week, but no more – I would need to be back in the office on Monday, 2/2.

The good news is that this was a major exception they were making for me – they wouldn’t even consider approving such a request for most other people in part because they trust me and my ability to get everything done that I needed to do. Naturally it’s still not the optimum situation – I’d much rather stay and get a couple of days with S&J before having to come home. With this alternative, I won’t even see them at all…MAJOR bummer.

Anyway, we’re still living with one foot in the Land of Limbo because it seems there may be one other alternative which would potentially preclude me from needing to go out there at all. I’m okay either way – at least I know where I stand with work now…and, at the end of the day, this was all about helping my friends and so whatever works best for them is what I’m in favor of.

Of course if I don’t go at all, then I would also say that this should buy me some extra time during my next trip during our 4th Annual Labor Day Seattle Extravaganza.

So despite the last couple of days being such a rollercoaster ride, the hardest part of the waiting is over and we should have everything completely ironed out soon.

Tell the fat lady she’s on in five.

It’s that time of year again…  Time for cookies, trees, gifts, snow (if you’re lucky), songs, mistletoe, ornaments, lights, and joy at celebrating the birth of Jesus.  It’s also time for yearly updates.  Every year I receive tons of letters from my friends telling me all about the seemingly endless amounts of awesome things their kids accomplished – Johnny took his first steps, Billy said his first word, Jane walked on the moon, Susie found the cure for cancer…  And each year as I sit and read through these letters, I’m struck by just how much I have NOT done.

Or at least, the past few years have been like that.

Prior to 2005, I typically felt like I had a lot to say come December.  I was moving to or living in or traveling through amazing places – Alaska, Europe, Asia, New York City…  But then I moved back to Bucks County – not far from where I grew up – and the excitement seems to have ceased.

I debated as to whether or not to even write something for this year having felt outdone by just about everyone else out there…after all, how can you beat out someone taking their first steps?  But after some thought on the matter, I decided that perhaps it was more important do go through this exercise for 2008 because it would help me focus on finding the things that were worth mentioning.

So in the name of hoping 2008 was worth it, I give you…

2008: Year of the Rat

(I’m not making that up – check the Chinese calendar if you don’t believe me)

Let’s begin with 10 “stills” in my life (because it would be more depressing to end there – not that they’re all negatives or anything, but you know what I mean):

1. I’m still in Pennsylvania
2. I’m still single
3. I still live in the same townhouse
4. I still have the same fabulous roommate
5. I still have Chena the Amazing Dog & Brighton the Great Bird – Chena turned 2 this year and Brighton turned 10
6. I still work for the same company
7. I still have the same job…or in this environment, perhaps it’s most meaningful to say I still HAVE a job
8. I still have debt
9. I still love coffee
10. I still hate raw tomatoes

Below is a summary of 2008…such as it was:

January

I went to Atlanta to visit my family while Jo & Josh were there. I also found Dave Ramsey and decided set New Years Resolutions to lose weight, start living on a budget, and begin a plan to pay off my debt.

February

I started my budget.  I also found out that my foot which I broke in Vermont in 2005 was, in fact, still broken so I was going to have to treat it by wearing this weird bone stimulator (no, it’s not like that – get your mind out of the gutter)  10 hours/day for 6 months.  Yay.

March

Gas prices really started soaring, but I still managed to budget in a trip up to Boston to visit Esther & the girls for a long weekend over my birthday.

April

I started attending a Financial Peace University class that was being held locally and I found an amazing church…FINALLY.

May & June

Absolutely nothing of note took place.  Nothing.  May & June were a total waste this year.

July

I discovered I had a nest of yellowjackets my attic.  That was it.

August

Like its predecessors of May & June, August failed to contribute anything of interest for 2008.  I think I saw a movie.

September

The most exciting month all year!  I went to Seattle to visit Jel & Co.  A blast, as always, made even better by the fact that we had a full week to relax & hang.

October

Not as fun as September, but pretty.  Great foliage this year.  I also had new hardwood floors installed on the ground floor of my home. Oh, and I handed out candy to a lot of princesses & vampires with a few Harry Potter’s thrown in.

November

The removal of all the election paraphernalia from yards & TV was a highlight of my month, second only to the birth of my first nephew – Ronan Powell Rogers.  Yay!  And then of course there was Thanksgiving.  Yum.

December

I calculated that by the end of this year, I’ll have paid off 52% of my unsecured debt (36% of my overall debt) thanks to my budget, Dave Ramsey, and God.  I’ve lost 20 pounds of the untold amount I put on after moving out of NYC – still some to go, but I’m on the right track!  I got a Wii & a Wii Fit.

I really can’t underscore the importance of this task.  It’s huge and has required a lot of sacrifice which, in turn, has made for a relatively boring 2008.  And perhaps I should go ahead and warn everyone now that 2009 & 2010 will be going up against 2008 on that front.  In 2011, I’ll be sure to give the title of Most Boring Year to one of these 3 contenders because, let’s face it, until I get my debt paid off, I may not being doing much else between now and then…although I do foresee a trip to North Dakota to see my nephew this coming year and perhaps a smaller getaway or two if I can manage it – we’ll see if that budget will allow me that!  I became a moderator in December of last year for the GAP Adventures travel forum called The Watering Hole which, while a technically a volunteer position, carries with it some other nice perks like credit towards GAP trips which I might be able to leverage towards this end.

In closing, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  I sincerely hope your 2008 was more interesting than mine…  But now look out 2009 – here we come!

When in doubt, blog.

Thankfully I have the day off tomorrow so that once the caffeine wears off, I’ll be able to sleep in and not skip a beat.  Speaking of tomorrow (which is really technically today) I should give a shout out to Janelle & Sean whose 1-year anniversary is the 23rd!  Seems like yesterday that we were all standing on that yacht on Lake Washington as vows were said and they began their happily ever after.  Wow.  How’d that go by so quickly?  Well, I don’t really want to contemplate the passing of time, so instead I’ll just say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JEL & SEAN!  LOVE YOU GUYS!

So what else is there to say?  What worthless tidbits of news can I dig up to share?  Not much has been going on to speak of… Oh, I fell down the stairs on Thursday.  I slipped on the carpet in my socks while talking to my sister on the phone.  I then proceeded to tumble down about two-thirds of the staircase on my ass which now has a bruise the size of Rhode Island.  That’s one for the record books.  Once I came to a complete stop, I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.  I think I laughed, but since I’m still in pain now several days later, crying might be more apt.  Thankfully I’m not over 60 or I might have broken something.  In any case, it was an act of sheer grace & poise which surely would have qualified me for a gold medal if tumbling down stairs was an Olympic sport.  Maybe someday it will be.

Work is slow now that we’re nearing the end of the year.  We had our annual team Christmas party at AD’s house tonight which was fun as always.  The Yankee exchange gift time proved to be…well, interesting.  This year turned out some weird gifts including an illustrated children’s book on Obama and a “Control Your Woman Remote Control” – and guess who ended up the evening with that little gem.  What I’m going to do with it, I have no idea but I am determined to find a good use for it.

Aside from the odd gift assortment, we had a nice time eating, drinking, and visiting.  I find in general that these parties bring out another side to everyone…  Partly I think because we’re all out of the office and therefore not bound by all of the office etiquette that typically rules our interactions.  With this letting down of the guard, strange tales (some from far off lands) emerge as well.

For example, one of our new team members made a comment about how he had been robbed while in Spain.  The conversation went something like this:

“How did you get robbed in Spain?  Did you fall for the old banana-in-the-tailpipe?”
“No, I was swimming in the ocean at 2 a.m…”
“And someone mugged you IN the ocean?”
“Not quite…  They took my wallet and my pants which I had left on the shore.”
“I’m not really sure I would call that being ‘robbed’ – sounds more like ‘finders, keepers’ to me.”

I’m afraid the above loses something in translation being typed out, but it was really funny in the moment – trust me.

The evening ended with some unbelievable chocolate cake (which I’m quite sure I’m already sporting on my hips) followed by a bunch of the guys demonstrating their skill (or lack thereof) at Guitar Hero III for Wii.  Having just acquired my Wii not even a week ago, I’m not exactly well-versed yet on all of the available games, but after seeing it, I might be persuaded to try out that one…  It had some good tunes and apparently the less you know about actual guitar playing, the better at the game you’ll be so I should totally rock the stage then.

Speaking of my Wii, can I just say that I LOVE IT!  Really.  It’s my new favorite thing.  3 days of playing tennis and I could barely move my arms.  And apparently my Wii Fit has a lot to say about my current weight, balance, and other aspects of my physique and what I should be working towards…  It’s a little cheeky, if you ask me, but I’m not about to argue with a machine.

How long does it take caffeine to wear off?  Anyone know?  I wonder if there’s anything I can do to expedite its departure from my system.  Nothing like being exhausted but unable to sleep…  And then poor Chena is along for the ride because if I’m up, then really so is she.

Right, so maybe I should give bed another shot.  I’m finished trying to find something useful to do in the wee small hours of the morning anyway.  Maybe I should just read this post again after I publish…  It might just bore me to sleep.

So good night…I hope.

Crisp & cold, Saturday was thankfully sunny and lacking in precipitation. Took me about 2 hours to reach Kim’s hotel, and we then headed over to Intercourse (I feel dirty just typing that) for lunch.

Intercourse, PA.  So the Amish are not as pure & wholesome as they’d like us to think.  And can I just say that the town itself totally capitalizes on the whole inappropriateness of its name.  Slogans like the one from the pretzel factory where you can get ‘em “Soft or Hard” litter the billboards. It’s like a dirty marketer’s dream. I felt like I needed a shower upon leaving.

Anyhow, we met up with Beck (my friend, not the band) at Kitchen Kettle Village for lunch at the Kling House Restaurant (not to be confused with a Klingon restaurant). Afterwards, I took Kim back to the hotel for the wedding while Beck & I headed to Lititz where we grabbed Len, et. al and b-lined it for Hershey.

After much traffic, we arrived, parked, and were ready to enter when much to our dismay, discovered that the previously admission-free Candylane was charging nearly $10 per person! Apparently Hershey wasn’t satisfied with just making the money you’d spend once you entered. Right on, Hershey Corporate Decision-Makers. Way to increase people’s expenses in an already struggling economy! Good call. Really. (Can you see the sarcasm oozing off my words?)

Anyway, the fee included children, which meant to walk through Candylane in what we could stand of the freezing cold would have cost us nearly $70. Um…PASS!

So the kids were disappointed…heck, I was disappointed…but for that much money, we really had no choice. Boo Hershey.

Regardless, it was a fun few hours of driving around, and I’m glad I got to hang out with my friends who I haven’t seen in far too long.

I did manage to capture a few pics from the outside of the park and Hershey’s Chocolate World before we left, so here they are. I apologize that there aren’t more, but I’m giving you what I’ve got and so you’ll just have to make do:

That, in a nutshell, was my weekend. Oh, I guess there was just one more little thing…

I GOT A Wii!!

Yes, that’s right… After much deliberation and a full consultation with my Budget Committee, it was decided that I should get myself a Wii for Christmas. Partially for the gym membership dollars it will save me, and partially because I calculated out that by the end of 2008, I will have paid off just over $40K in debt this year!!

Now anyone who has gotten (or has tried to get) a Wii during Christmas shopping season might be wondering how I managed to obtain said Wii. Well, I had to get God involved. So I prayed. I told God I knew it was a silly thing, but that I really wanted a Wii for Christmas. I told Him I wanted the Wii Fit too, but would be happy with just a Wii.

I looked online. Everyone was sold out. I combed the stores (including while I was out in Lancaster) to no avail. Every place informed me that any time they got Wii’s in their stock shipments, they’d be sold out almost instantly. People would be waiting outside the stores before they opened in the mornings just hoping for a Wii. They said it was no different for the Wii Fit.

One store told me that the only way to get one would be to call during the week when their shipment comes in to see if any have arrived and then to come over immediately to get it. Since I work and have no one else to run my errands, this was not a valid option.

The odds of getting one by Christmas were looking increasingly unlikely. Then came Sunday night.

I was online flipping through Amazon (which I had done a thousand times before) and I decided to go check the Wii page (which I had done at least a hundred times before) when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer!  Wait…that’s not right.  Let me back up…

The Amazon page must have JUST refreshed its inventory because to my wondering eyes appeared AVAILABLE Wiis!! So I snagged one. They were sold out again within an hour or so and I haven’t seen the page restocked since. Ha ha!

Then Monday morning I had a similar tale where I managed to grab a Wii Fit off Best Buy online. They restocked, I got it. They were sold out within about 15 minutes and haven’t restocked since. Another ha ha!

So I got my Wii AND my Wii Fit. But wait, there’s more! They’ll both be arriving BEFORE Christmas!! Merry Christmas indeed!

Yay! Or should I say, Wii!

This week has been one of dinner guests, coffee dates, committee meetings, and haircuts. I have been home each evening for a total of about 1 hour before having to rush back out again only to return at bedtime.

I am completely wiped out…and it’s not over.

Tonight I have a release with work that I’m testing which I hope will not run into the wee hours of the morning (as they are sometimes prone to do). Tomorrow, it’s up early, weigh-in at Weight Watchers, and then hitting the ol’ westbound highway – destination: Lancaster.

I’m looking forward to a day in Lancaster for a few reasons:

1. It’s been far too long since I’ve visited…going on 5 years.
2. It’s Christmastime, so everything should be uber-pretty.
3. I’ll be coming home with chocolate – Wilbur’s (famous for its Buds) & Hershey’s (just plain famous).

As to the “why” behind this visit, my reasons are many…and no, the Amish is not one of them. Contrary to popular belief, Lancaster County is not the only place where the Amish live. If I wanted to see them, I’d just go to the local Amish farmers market which is only a couple of miles from my house. Granted, there aren’t that many buggies running around my area, but that’s probably for the best. Bucks County is pretty, but grossly lacking horse-and-buggy-friendly road systems – not to mention drivers. It’s sad really, but I digress.

Rather, I’m going to Lancaster to kill a few different birds with one blunt object.

One of my former NYC roommates, Kim, is going to be there for a wedding. She’s actually arriving out there today, but with the wedding not being until tomorrow night, she’s got the whole day free to hang. Additionally, one of my childhood friends, Becky, and her family recently returned to the Lancaster area from Virginia. Beck has agreed to come down and meet Kim and me for lunch and some shopping around Lancaster. Then, while Kim is at the wedding, I’m going to take a short road trip with Beck & Co. out to Hershey Park to see the lights. And hey, who can turn down going to a place where the air itself smells of chocolate?

After Hershey and the wedding, Kim will come home with me, and then I’ll throw her on a train back to the city on Sunday after church.

So it’ll be a action-packed weekend which is befitting the preceding week…however, if I’m being honest, I have to admit that I’d really like some crashing time – but I guess that’ll just have to wait until [hopefully] Sunday night.

Here’s hoping I haven’t jinxed myself by saying that.

I’m taking the camera so will hopefully get some good pictures – especially of Hershey and the lights…and maybe I’ll score a shot of a buggy for all you Amish fanatics.

But I digress…

In the midst of this cleaning frenzy, I came across some fun memorabilia – trinkets of the past, if you will – including (but not limited to):

• A photo taken of me & Jel the week I moved from Alaska – good times
• A coffee mug with the words “Safety First” from my trip to Thailand
• My last handwritten notebook journal and
• A bunch of “mix CDs” (which were post-mix tapes from high school, but pre-iPods & playlists).

Because music is a great thing to have on when you’re cleaning, or doing anything that keeps you from focusing on something steady like a TV screen, I popped in the CDs I’d found and let them play themselves silly.  I had no idea what was on them (I wasn’t much for labeling back in the late-90’s and early 2000’s when they were apparently made) and so I likewise had no idea what a ride I was in for.

I never cease to be amazed by the power that music has to evoke memories. Like smells, music can put me back in time and space to a particular place in an instant. As the CDs worked their way from beginning to end, I found myself completely transported – barely aware of the furniture, books, and boxes I was surrounded by.  I was at the mercy of the tunes.  The music had taken over.

Suddenly, I was…

• In the car with my sister (Jo) at Great Adventure in the safari, the giant head of a giraffe poking through the sunroof (Rusted Root – Send Me On My Way)
• Dancing in the snow with Jel at Beluga Point in the middle of the night (Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus)
• Working out at Dragon’s gym in Leamington Spa when I lived in the UK (Robbie Williams – Let Love Be Your Energy)
• Sailing through the Greek Isles in July 2001 (U2 – Beautiful Day)
• Camping with my sister outside of Denali National Park (Counting Crows – Round Here)
• Driving through Anchorage in the snow my first winter there (REM – Leave)
• In the beach bar on Relax Bay in Thailand (Dido – Here With Me)
• Hanging with my friends at the Willow Grove Mall in Junior High (Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me)
• Running around the reservoir with Jennifer in Central Park (U2 – Veritgo)
• Rockin’ out with Kristy in the car while driving around really cool places like Quakertown, Pennsburg, and East Greenville, PA (EMF – Unbelievable)
• Watching TV n the UK with Kristin when she came to visit (Element 4 – Big Brother Theme)
• Doin’ the dance with Jel in the car or at The Last Frontier…and most recently at her house in Edmonds (Will Smith – Men In Black)
• Seeing U2 in concert with Es in the post-9/11 “Elevation” tour (U2 – Elevation)
• On the Youth Group retreat up at Kutztown University, summer of 1989 (Cheap Trick – The Flame)
• Sailing in Thailand (Coldplay – Clocks)
• Seeing REM live from the front “row” in Seattle during the Bumbershoot Music Festival with Jel in 1999 (REM – Lotus)
• Hanging out in Memphis with Es (Live – Selling the Drama)
• On the Amtrak ride from Philly to Seattle when I moved up to Alaska in 1996 (REM – How The West Was Won & Where It Got Us)

I could go on and on and on.

In looking at that list, I can’t help but wonder where on earth the time goes.  Seriously – it just flies.  But that aside, I know that no matter what, I need to hang onto these CDs (or at least the playlists) so that when I’m old and gray and sitting in a retirement home somewhere, all I’ll need to do to relive the best moments of my life will be to play through one of these bad boys.  Pop in a CD (or put on a playlist) and my mind will be off and running.

Of course I’ve got a lot of years left and since I’m still collecting memories this way, I figure I’m going to have some crazy long-ass playlists by then…

Hopefully the technology will be able to keep up.

In case you’re interested, here is an interesting article I found which discusses music’s other superhero-like capabilities: http://www.livescience.com/health/081015-music-power.html

Apparently in addition to provoking memories, it can ease pain, influence mood, boost immunity, overcome fatigue, increase intelligence, reduce stress, anxiety, and depression…to name a few.  I don’t know if I can think of anything non-drug or alcohol-related that can claim all of that.

So what’s everyone waiting for?  Pump up the jam!

Saturday was the day.  We were originally shooting for September 13th, but the weather had called for rain and so rather than risk it, we postponed a week.  Weather-wise, it was worth the wait.  We had a beautiful day – the kind where you want nothing more than to be outside, so what could be better than being outside while making a few bucks off your junk?

I was up at 5am, out the door by 5:30.  After a quick stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for a veritable jug of coffee and a dozen donuts, I made it to Shanna’s in time to start unloading the car and setting out the boxes and boxes of things I had managed to pull out of my attic and identify as unused, unwanted, and undeniably ugly…well, some of it anyway.
What I also found funny was how Es’s article really hit on what is so bizarre-yet-true about yard sales (and eBay, for that matter):  The things people will (and won’t) buy.  It makes no sense.  At all.  There were things I pulled out of my attic and stuck little pre-priced stickers on I thought would be snatched up within the first half-hour while other items I considered to be grotesque would surely sit as unwanted on the yard as they had in my attic.

Not so.

Instead, cute little candlesticks I picked up ages ago and have never used were barely glanced at while people were purchasing things I couldn’t imagine a possible use for outside of a gag-gift or cruel joke.  Among the hideous items were these repulsive ceramic cat figurines I used to adore as a child (okay, so I didn’t exactly have great taste at 7 – does anyone?)  Nor am I clear on why exactly I liked them at all.

To start with, I’m allergic to cats.  Strike one.  And these in particular looked like they had been crafted by people in China who may have never actually seen a cat.  Strike two.  Then adding insult in injury, they were painted with the most putrid shade of brown.  Strike three.

It definitely makes me wonder why anyone would have given them to me in the first place, not to mention why I’ve kept them so long after I came to my senses and stopped displaying them.  The best excuse I can come up with is that they had just been forgotten in their bubblewrapped existence packed away in the rafters with more of the same.

Still, thanks to someone else’s odd taste in collectibles, it was nice that all these years later these ugly cats actually managed to put a dollar in my pocket.  Collectively, my odd and unwanted items didn’t exactly bring me wealth, but a little over $80 which is more than they were giving me sitting in my attic.

I also did sell some good stuff that I hoped I would.  My giant, wire mesh drawer unit was hauled away for $5.  I also had someone offer me $15 for all of the CDs I had out.  The binoculars with a built-in digital camera which I had gotten from work walked away for $15.  And then of course there were things I had no intention of selling whatsoever that people still asked me about (”Hey, how much for the puppy?”)

Like Esther, sold or not, I refused to take anything home.  I wanted it ALL gone…even the cute little candlesticks.  So what remained ended up getting shuttled over to Good Will where I hope someone finds my candlesticks cute too and gives them a nice home.

As for the cats, considering how quickly they sold just off the yard, it does make one wonder if I could have made more off them on eBay, but I don’t really care.  After all, a bird in the hand, right?

So, how do you sell an ugly cat?  It’s not hard – if you set it out on your lawn, apparently it will draw buyers in all on its own with little-to-no effort.  Just be careful what else you set out there or you might end up accidentally selling your dog or kid…unless, of course, you want to.

Today I’d like to share a guest post from Deb. Deb lives in the Philadelphia suburbs, blogs at The Writer Bee and is part of The Well community. At the bottom of the post, I’ve linked to a few of my favorite posts she has shared on her blog. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have… Read the rest of this entry.

Pictures are posted on Flickr which really speak for themselves, but here are a few highlights from the trip:

1. Dinner, laughs, and commandeering the jukebox at Diamond Knot with Amy & Jel.
2. Reliving the 80’s & 90’s music videos on YouTube.
3. Doing the MIB dance with Will for the first time in almost a decade.
4. Introducing Sean to “Dumb & Dumber”.
5. Dealing with the smell I most commonly associate with NYC in a Seattle’s Best Coffee shop in downtown Seattle.
6. N.E.I.E.C.
7. Dancing in the parking lot of the QFC to one of our old mix tapes until 50 cops showed up for some reason which made us nervous so we sped off.
8. Trying to find parking for the new PCC – have people never seen one before??
9. Cracking up in the grocery store…what were we laughing at anyway?
10. Getting to spend 10 whole days with my best friend.

Click here for the full set of photos.

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