Sometimes I think a real date with someone I like would be a nice way to spend a Saturday night.  I’m just saying.

And at that moment, I would have said that tonight might have been a good night to test out that theory. But that was then…and it wasn’t snowing.

As most of you are aware, I have a few shows which I would consider to be lifetime favorites.  One is most certainly The Gilmore Girls.  Brilliant writing and storyline aside, one of the reasons I love Gilmore Girls is due to the many ways in which I could relate to Lorelai – for example, her relationship (read: obsession) with coffee.  Another would be her love affair with snow.

Everyone knows how much I love coffee – and I would venture to say that much of the population can relate on those terms as well.  However, I’ve found the snow thing tends to illicit rather negative responses from people.  Phrases filled with hatred, swearing, and even fear pour from people’s mouths at the very mention of it on the news.  And then there are always those who try to hide their dislike of it by saying, “Oh, I think it’s pretty and all, but only if I don’t have to go out in it.”

Well, I love snow.  I love when it falls.  I get sad when it stops.  Blizzards are awesome.  I don’t mind shoveling it.  I don’t mind being out in it.  I don’t mind driving in it.  In fact, I am never so happy inside as when it’s snowing.  Snow makes me smile.  I love how it looks, sounds, smells…  I love it all.  Snow is one of the reasons I sometimes consider relocating back to Alaska.  I get just about as defensive of snow as I do of New York.  And so, to all those who act so put out when it snows, to them I say that perhaps they should consider moving to the tropics.  Incidentally, these are probably the same group of people who, when I used to say that I lived in New York, I would have gotten a response like, “Wow – New York!  I could never live there.”  Couple that with a negative comment about the snow and you might as well pull my hair, kick me somewhere unpleasant, call me fat, and tell me I could only have ugly children.  (I know my fellow New Yorkers will understand this).

So, at this moment I have to admit that sitting here only a few weeks before my favorite holiday, cozy in my house in the glow of the Christmas tree watching a marathon of holiday films while snow is falling softly outside is the best way I can think of to spend a Saturday night…by far.

All I need now is some coffee.

Saturday was the day.  We were originally shooting for September 13th, but the weather had called for rain and so rather than risk it, we postponed a week.  Weather-wise, it was worth the wait.  We had a beautiful day – the kind where you want nothing more than to be outside, so what could be better than being outside while making a few bucks off your junk?

I was up at 5am, out the door by 5:30.  After a quick stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for a veritable jug of coffee and a dozen donuts, I made it to Shanna’s in time to start unloading the car and setting out the boxes and boxes of things I had managed to pull out of my attic and identify as unused, unwanted, and undeniably ugly…well, some of it anyway.
What I also found funny was how Es’s article really hit on what is so bizarre-yet-true about yard sales (and eBay, for that matter):  The things people will (and won’t) buy.  It makes no sense.  At all.  There were things I pulled out of my attic and stuck little pre-priced stickers on I thought would be snatched up within the first half-hour while other items I considered to be grotesque would surely sit as unwanted on the yard as they had in my attic.

Not so.

Instead, cute little candlesticks I picked up ages ago and have never used were barely glanced at while people were purchasing things I couldn’t imagine a possible use for outside of a gag-gift or cruel joke.  Among the hideous items were these repulsive ceramic cat figurines I used to adore as a child (okay, so I didn’t exactly have great taste at 7 – does anyone?)  Nor am I clear on why exactly I liked them at all.

To start with, I’m allergic to cats.  Strike one.  And these in particular looked like they had been crafted by people in China who may have never actually seen a cat.  Strike two.  Then adding insult in injury, they were painted with the most putrid shade of brown.  Strike three.

It definitely makes me wonder why anyone would have given them to me in the first place, not to mention why I’ve kept them so long after I came to my senses and stopped displaying them.  The best excuse I can come up with is that they had just been forgotten in their bubblewrapped existence packed away in the rafters with more of the same.

Still, thanks to someone else’s odd taste in collectibles, it was nice that all these years later these ugly cats actually managed to put a dollar in my pocket.  Collectively, my odd and unwanted items didn’t exactly bring me wealth, but a little over $80 which is more than they were giving me sitting in my attic.

I also did sell some good stuff that I hoped I would.  My giant, wire mesh drawer unit was hauled away for $5.  I also had someone offer me $15 for all of the CDs I had out.  The binoculars with a built-in digital camera which I had gotten from work walked away for $15.  And then of course there were things I had no intention of selling whatsoever that people still asked me about (”Hey, how much for the puppy?”)

Like Esther, sold or not, I refused to take anything home.  I wanted it ALL gone…even the cute little candlesticks.  So what remained ended up getting shuttled over to Good Will where I hope someone finds my candlesticks cute too and gives them a nice home.

As for the cats, considering how quickly they sold just off the yard, it does make one wonder if I could have made more off them on eBay, but I don’t really care.  After all, a bird in the hand, right?

So, how do you sell an ugly cat?  It’s not hard – if you set it out on your lawn, apparently it will draw buyers in all on its own with little-to-no effort.  Just be careful what else you set out there or you might end up accidentally selling your dog or kid…unless, of course, you want to.

Today I’d like to share a guest post from Deb. Deb lives in the Philadelphia suburbs, blogs at The Writer Bee and is part of The Well community. At the bottom of the post, I’ve linked to a few of my favorite posts she has shared on her blog. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have… Read the rest of this entry.

October 2005 was my final month in NYC before I moved back out to PA and started working at my current job.  As something of a “send-off” from NYC, I had tickets to four separate U2 Vertigo concerts.  Two of them I went to with others, two were solo.  One of the solo tickets I had was for a floor seat on 10/11.  It was an amazing show.  I got there early, stood in line, didn’t win the “lottery” for the inner circle crowd, but I was cool with that because I still managed to get a space at the outer edge of the circle right in the center.  I was within spitting distance of Bono (not that I would have dared spit on him, but the point is that I could have).  It was awesome.

The Arcade Fire song “Wake-Up” signaled the beginning of the concert. “City of Blinding Lights” began to play and Bono appeared on the stage right in front of me. With my camera poised, I was ready. Of course it was at this moment that the memory card decided to crap out completely.  I started getting error messages.  Things would blink that normally didn’t blink.  I think my camera might even have given me the finger.  It didn’t matter how sweetly I spoke to it, how much I begged or how many promises I made, it just stubbornly refused to work.  I ended up eventually sending the stupid thing back to SanDisk who sent me a replacement, but that didn’t do me much good while Bono and The Edge were rockin’ out just a few feet away and me unable to capture it with anything but my memory!  The good news is that I still had one more concert to attend with good seats so I was able to get some fabulous shots then (see the gallery at the end of this post), however I still didn’t have anything to take away from this crowning jewel moment in my concert-going history.

I was online tonight and for some reason suddenly thought, “Hey – the Internet is a pretty big place…I wonder if someone else who was at the concert that night happened to post photos of it..?” So I started to search.  Lo and behold, I found photos taken from someone who was part of the inner circle which were great, but then I also stumbled across a bunch of YouTube videos taken that night and to my great surprise, you can see me in some of them! Well, you kinda have to know what you’re looking for, but still.

If you feel so inclined, you can watch the whole video (the camera angle catches me at various times throughout) but I also took a screenshot and highlighted myself in the lower right corner (just look for the blue circle).

Pretty cool, huh? I’m just loving the Internet right now.

The photos below are from the last of the four concerts on 10/14/2005:

So, in a fit of boredom and driven by my desire to be in keeping with blogging standards, I hereby present my list of 25 Things About Me.   Ahem.

1. Coffee is my favorite comfort food. I couldn’t imagine a world without it…nor would I want to.
2. I adore roller coasters – I laugh hysterically when riding them and I love to be in the front car.
3. I am completely addicted to travel – I have been to 15 countries on 4 continents.
4. They say you can’t buy love, but my dog has taught me otherwise.
5. My biggest pre-teen crush was a tie between Bill Bixby (from “The Incredible Hulk”) and Shaun Cassidy (from “The Hardy Boys”).
6. I once worked in a chocolate factory.
7. I love Jesus and believe in the power of prayer and the importance of community.
8. My favorite beer is Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA.
9. I rang in the New Millenium in NYC.
10. I have lived in Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Alaska, New York City, and England.
11. My favorite TV shows through my life so far have been “Sesame Street”, “The A-Team”, “The Wonder Years”, “Seinfeld”, “Friends, “Frasier”, “Ally McBeal”, “90210″, “Gilmore Girls”, and “LOST”.
12. I have painted every wall in every room of my current home including closets & ceilings.
13. I volunteered with the Red Cross at Ground Zero (The World Trade Center) after the terrorist attack of 9/11 which was one of the most sobering and rewarding experiences of my life.
14. I was 20 years old the first time I visited the Pacific Northwest and have been in love with it ever since.
15. I will not eat raw tomatoes.
16. I have never seen any of “The Godfather” movies.
17. I wrote my first book (called “The Oddness of Andrew”) in 3rd grade. There was a boy in my class named Andrew who was not amused.
18. The first time I saw real mountains in person, I cried.
19. I have had roommates for the majority of my adult life – 14 in all.
20. I love Oreos.
21. I once wanted to be a marine biologist.
22. I collect Starbucks mugs…I have one from every city I’ve visited (assuming I could find a Starbucks).
23. Snow is my favorite form of precipitation – I am thrilled when there’s a blizzard.
24. The biggest earthquake I’ve ever been in was a 6.4
25. I have not had a landline phone since October 2001.

The abridged version of how this happened is that I went to Vermont to go skiing and instead ended up running from a dog that I mistook to be Cujo, tripped in the dark, fell, and…well…you can probably figure it out from there.

So, quickly – the reason for my note is to just ask for your prayers over these next few weeks as I have a lot going on even without the use of both feet! I’m supposed to go to Atlanta for Thanksgiving this week, I’m closing on my house next Friday (12/2), I need to actually get all of my stuff moved into the new place, I can’t currently drive my car which is a stick shift, and then I still need to work at some point (I’m home today and was home for half of yesterday). Please pray that I’ll be able to get everything done that I need to get done and that my foot might heal even more quickly than the 4-6 weeks I’ve been quoted… I’m also dealing with just a bunch of smaller logistical things as a result of all this as well.

Why God has allowed all had to happen at the same time I will probably never know, but it certainly manages to keep me on my toes (if only in a figurative sense…)

2005 has been an amazing adventure thus far…

Kicked off in January with a sailing trip to Thailand & Burma for which there are no words. In fact, I just finished watching a fabulous video put together by one of the guys on the trip (Steve) which has just brought it all back with such clarity that it’s all I can do not to book another ticket back there – especially since there’s now a non-stop flight to Bangkok from NY being offered for the dirt-cheap price of $800. Sigh. (I must add, Steven, you’ve certainly lived up to your nickname!) I think I sent most of you the pictures (or cornered you into looking at the ones I had printed), but if not, let me know and I’ll be happy to forward the link.

For my birthday (which more or less coincided with Easter this year), I took a trip out to London & Dublin. Got to spent some really relaxing days there visiting with some friends and kicking around which was great.

In between all this, days have been filled with work, friends, Broadway shows, other various activities… And now that Spring has finally arrived, we all have been taking advantage of the sunshine and gorgeous weather – open windows, lunch by the Hudson, longer daylight hours, Yankees games, weekends away, and basically any excuse to be outside. My friend Jennifer and I have recently started jogging in Central Park a few days a week which I’ve never really done before, but am pleased to say that I’m up to about 3.5 miles at a shot. Before long we’ll be tackling the 6 mile loop around the outer edge of the Reservoir. One of my colleagues just ran the Boston Marathon today in 3-1/2 hours. Hm, yeah. Don’t think I’ll be doing that any time soon.

Finally, my sister, Kristin, and I will be meeting up for Memorial Day weekend in San Francisco which we’re both looking forward to. I’m already working on my packing strategy so as to ensure plenty of spare suitcase room for all the wine I’m going to return with.

One other piece of (relatively) big news is that the day after I got back from London, Kim (my roommate) came down to my office and told me that she was going to be moving out April 30th. So I’ve spent the last few weeks searching for a new roommate and found a taker just yesterday. Her name is Alice and seems very nice…she’s petrified of my bird (having seen one too many Alfred Hitchcock movies, I fear), but I’m sure she’ll get over it since, as many of you know, Brighton is about as calm and low-key as you can get. Of course, I’m sorry to see Kim go as she’s been a fabulous roommate for the last year and half, but it’s a great opportunity she’s been given so I can’t blame her…

So that’s pretty much my life at the moment – or at least, all that’s fit to print! For now, I’m off to unwind and have some dinner…

So what has made 2003 so different, you ask? Well, a combination of things and a multitude of changes, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself so let’s just take it one month at a time, shall we? If memory serves, I believe this is also how I did it in 1998…

January…

…was a typical first month of a new year. You get the date wrong on most of the checks you write for that first week or so. Snow inevitably falls at some point (actually at many points since we were blessed with a White Christmas in 2002 here on the east coast). Finally you make your way into the dark days of…

February

We had our blizzard in February. I believe it was around the 17th that the white monsoon hit. I couldn’t have been more in heaven! I know that not everyone shares my affection for snow but for me, this was a piece of my Alaska and I did enjoy those days, especially while it was falling! February was also the month that I decided to begin the process to enter the mission field. I had been thinking about it in abstract ways since early December 2002, but didn’t really decide to go into a particular direction until February. I was looking into different mission organizations and had settled on MTW (Mission to the World). I’m not sure exactly when I began the application process, but I believe it was sometime around the end of the month. I also had the opportunity to take a trip with work to Jamaica which was incredible. We got to stay at the Ritz Carlton there in Montego Bay and it was fun and fabulous all the way through – the only downside being that I had the flu when we left for the trip and didn’t feel much better until the day before we went back home. Bleh.

March…

…brought warmer weather (eventually), lots of rain, and my birthday. Now I sit poised on the outskirts of my 30’s singing strange ballads about where on earth my 20’s have gone.

April…

…was full of rain, if I remember correctly. I also took a short trip to Colorado. I stayed in Denver mostly, but did rent a car and go out on road trip to Aspen where I accidentally wandered into a luncheon for some sort of Aspen society group. They found it amusing that I had joined their group and invited me to stay. I sat at a table with a former mayor and some city council representatives among others. It was truly a serendipitous afternoon.

May…

…is when I completed my MTW application, had my interview, and was accepted into their short-term mission program. I had begun working on my support letter when I also received some startling news at work. My manager found out that he was receiving what boiled down to a promotion and was going to be inheriting a huge amount of additional territory of responsibility. He already had Northern New Jersey, but now New York City and Long Island were being added to his region – our region. I saw this initially as the perfect opportunity to tell everyone that I was planning to take a year off and go to the mission field – after all, they were going to be moving our headquarters from Bridgewater, NJ to Manhattan and there was already someone there who was doing my job. So I told them my plan, but made it clear that I wanted to stay working here through the end of the summer.

June…

…began my commute from New Hope, PA to Midtown Manhattan for work everyday. For those of you not familiar with the area, New Hope is about 100 miles (give or take) from New York which meant I was up at 5am each morning to catch a bus at 6 which would get me into the city between 8:15-8:45 and to my office by 9. Then it was back out the door at 4:30 to catch the bus at 5:15 and be home by 7:30/8:00. This commute was grueling, to say the least. I got a LOT of reading done, but other than that my days just felt like they were being stolen from me.

July…

…changed everything. I had been watching my support cards come back in and the numbers were less than encouraging. I prayed about it, sought much advice, and explored other avenues in order to generate the support I needed to be able to leave in September. Nothing was working. Finally, I was faced with having to make a decision – my manager had come to me and asked what he should expect – was I staying or going? I knew he needed a firm answer. Staying meant that I would be moving back to New York. Going would mean I would certainly be losing my job regardless if the rest of my support came in or not. With only about 5% having been pledged, I came to the decision that I wasn’t prepared to take that big of a risk with nothing to fall back on. Rather than try to explain all the details of this, I’m also enclosing the letter that was sent out to my supporters which is far better than what I could sum up here. So July finished up with me working to move to New York – with my lease for up at the end of September, I had some work to do. I had decided to buy an apartment in Manhattan (with interest rates as low as they were, who wouldn’t?) so I acquired a real estate broker and got to work apartment hunting. Found one in the neighborhood known as Clinton (aka Hell’s Kitchen), put in a bid, had it accepted, and began getting together all of the documentation needed for the co-op board approval which is another letter altogether that I won’t bore you with now!

August…

…came without my really knowing where July had gone. I was still commuting into the city and was rapidly becoming tired from it. My co-op board interview time came and I met with two of the most smug, arrogant men whose only qualification for judging me was that they happened to live in the building where my apartment was going to be. They interrogated me, didn’t laugh at my jokes, and generally just made me uncomfortable. I left the interview feeling that things had just gone very badly and I didn’t know what the outcome would be. It was a couple of weeks later that I received word that they had rejected my application which meant that I was not approved to purchase the apartment. The seller wanted to take a second crack at it though, and asked if I would be willing to wait while he appealed the board’s decision. I agreed.

September…

…was full of cooler days, sweaters, and school buses. I heard back from the co-op board for the second time. They agreed to approve me for the building, but there was a catch (isn’t there always?) I had to agree to move in without my bird. My sweet bird is such a source of joy in my life and I love her to death, but I wasn’t about to give up an apartment for her, so I agreed to the board’s condition. There was always this thought in the back of my mind that I could just fight the battle of the bird once I was in the apartment. The end of September came along with the end of my lease. I had a harrowing few days of packing followed by one horrendous day of loading and moving all of my earthly belongings into storage until the rest of the apartment plans could be sorted out (closing, painting, moving, etc.) September 30 I took the bus one last time up to stay with my friend Nicole who was in the process of moving into NYC herself.

October…

…was madness personified. I was staying with Nicole for what I thought would be a couple of weeks when I heard from the co-op board at my building for the third time. They had decided to reject me again for no specified reason even though I had agreed to move in without my bird. I burst into tears (what else was there to do?) and decided that was the end of this battle for me. If these people would do this to my seller, what would they do to me when I eventually wanted to sell? It had already cost me a few thousand dollars that I wasn’t going to get back and I was too emotionally exhausted from the last few months to even think about going back to them again. I didn’t know what God was doing, but I knew I was seeking His will above all other things and if I just rested in that, He would bring me to the place he wanted me to be and that it would be better than anything I might have thought up. So I began looking at apartments to rent. By the end of October, I think I had looked at close to 30 apartments. Finally I saw one on the Upper East Side. It was a 1-bedroom for an unthinkable price for Manhattan and I fell in love with it and put an application in. Later that afternoon, I had a coffee date with a girl named Kim who had responded to an ad I had placed in my church’s classifieds a few weeks back (right after the board rejected me the first time). I had decided that if our meeting went well, I would propose a roommate situation to her that I thought would work well, especially with the layout of this particular 1-bedroom since the bedroom and living area are separated by the kitchen, bathroom, and door so as to allow for separate areas which could work well as a converted 2-bedroom. We met and I liked her immediately. She came to see the apartment and agreed that this could work very well for us both. My application was approved and I signed the lease at the end of the month.

November

I semi-moved into the apartment on 88th, that is to say I moved in with a suitcase, a bag, and a bird. Mid-November I went back to Pennsylvania, rented a truck, loaded it up with only my 14-year-old cousin’s help, and then drove it up to New York. Thankfully the Lord supplied me with 6 additional people in the city to help me unload and carry all of my things up the 3 flights of stairs (no elevator) and into the apartment. I had the following week off which I used to work endless hours in order to get the boxes unpacked, the IKEA furniture put together, and the apartment set up as much as possible before Thanksgiving weekend when Kim was moving in. By the end of the month, we were both at least sleeping there if not completely settled.

December

At last! This month has not been unlike it’s predecessors in its lunacy. I’ve had work and events and visitors galore. The final set was just before Christmas when my sisters came up to New York for a night. I left with them the next day and we drove straight through the night down to Atlanta arriving on the 23rd and don’t you think I was pleased to wake up on Christmas Eve with a cold? I’ve spent the last several days basically laying around drinking plenty of fluids coupled with plenty of Christmas cookies – it is the holidays after all!

So that was my version of 2003, such as it was. Obviously this letter won’t make it out until January or so, but I figure it’s not so thrilling that people can’t wait. Certainly I will not be making it into any national publications with this, but I wanted to at least give a heads-up to those who may have an interest as to what has been going on.

I hope everyone is well and will enjoy a fabulous and blessed 2004.

Blessings and Hope…

Lower Manhattan is a ghost town. But everything is relative, so in relation to a true ghost town, of course Lower Manhattan is nothing of the sort; but in relation to what it was prior to 9/11, it is. These streets that used to be teeming with people through the working day now barely moves. Then I have to remind myself of the 40,000-some people that used to work in The Towers and surrounding buildings that are located elsewhere. Not to mention the 100,000 or so that used to go through the WTC everyday, thousands pouring off of the escalators coming up from the PATH trains – tourists, commuters, shoppers, visitors. Take that many people out of an area and it inevitably will make the remaining parts feel practically deserted.

My walk to the office takes me on almost the same route I used to take when I worked at 100 Church Street back in 1999-2000. Up from the Fulton Street station, down Fulton between the church and the Millennium Hilton (a strange, skinny, black modern-looking building that I was shocked to hear it survived the collapse of the WTC). I cross Church Street on the same pedestrian crossing zones that I used to take that would put you right in front of The Towers. The courtyard had been right in front with its giant fountain and the benches where I used to eat lunch on nice days. There had been a Krispy Kreme on the corner next to a huge Borders bookstore – two places I frequented at least once a week. Now there’s nothing there but a fence. I used to love the view down Fulton Street looking towards Church, but now I find it depressing. There’s such a giant void.like someone came and took out some of my favorite things about New York.

What used to be exhilarating is now difficult. What was found has now been lost. I focus on the ground when I walk because I do not want to have to look at the reality. I’m afraid of forgetting what it was like – I have such fond memories that I’m afraid will fade away into nothing.

Across Church Street, I keep my eyes on the church which was opposite the WTC. It is the church where George Washington went to pray the morning he was inaugurated as the first President of the United States. That church was here long before The Towers were ever thought of, and I can’t help but marvel at the fact that it still stands even after all that happened. There is not a mark on it. They say it was protected by the trees that stand around it. I think it was the Hand of God.

I begin the walk down Vesey Street. There are tourists everywhere staring at the site through rips and tears in the netting that covers the fence around the WTC. They stare and take pictures of nothing. Something about that strikes me as terribly odd. “What are you taking pictures of?!” I want to scream at them, “There’s nothing there!” In logic, I understand why they’re there but there’s something in me that just can’t see the reasoning in taking pictures of it. Do people take pictures of a plot of ground where a house once stood after it’s burned down? You take pictures because you want to freeze a happy moment in time – no one takes pictures at a funeral, to me this seems just as inappropriate. Buy pictures of The Towers before 9/11, or come back and take pictures of it after they’ve restored the area. Right now it’s still too full of emptiness and devastation. But the Tourists don’t have a clue. They should listen to the stories of some of my friends and coworkers that were there.

Now I have to cross over West Street on foot – come rain or sleet or snow. It used to be that once you got into the WTC, you could walk all the way over to the World Financial Center without ever having to set foot outside again. Not anymore. The pedestrian bridge is gone along with so many other things. They’re rebuilding a bridge, but it won’t be the same – although I will be glad to have a way to get across without contending with the traffic – especially in the rain which seems to only fall horizontally down here.

The Winter Garden is eerily the same, although I haven’t quite gotten used to the marble stairs that lead up to where the pedestrian bridge used to connect from the North Tower of the WTC. Now it’s just a giant wall of glass, probably 3 times my height with a giant banner across it which reads: “From Recovery to Renewal”. Tourists gather at this glass wall and continue to stare at the same nothing they saw from the walk over here. At least in here, when they take pictures, it’s worth it. The whole building is basically a giant dome of glass. The sun beats in, and the rain pits itself against the windows. The palm trees (also 9/11 survivors) stand tall and proud. The Winter Garden is once again full of shops and restaurants and has fabulous views of the Hudon River from its lower doors and windows. Our office windows also face the river which truly is a treat to look at all day.

I’m sure all this will grow easier as time goes on, after all, I’ve only been doing this commute again for a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I need to keep my eyes focused on the church, the trees, the river, and their Creator.

When I told my mother I was going to go up and work at Ground Zero on Saturday, her initial reaction was, “Well you’ll be an emotional wreck!” and I, in fact, nearly expected that I would be. Instead, the experience was the most rewarding thing I have ever done and probably more therapeutic than anything else.

I didn’t really know what to expect…not totally anyway. I knew I’d have a hard time going there…I’ve even been afraid of going and seeing the devastation and carnage up close. Not to mention having to see in person the area I used to spend every working day while I lived in NYC not being as I remember it. And it was hard…really really hard…but I think that being there and helping really made a difference. If I had just seen it and then had to walk away and cope with it all, I would have fallen apart. Being there and being part of the effort and feeling productive made such a difference!!

It was a long day… I was going up with a group from Merrill Lynch. We met at 12:30pm and headed up to the Red Cross station in Brooklyn. First we had paperwork to fill out and then we were given badges that would allow us “Full Access & Ground Zero”. Then the put us on a bus to take us down to the sites where we would be working.

They gave us an orientation on the bus that provided us with the ground rules. No cameras because the area is considered a Federal Crime Scene and so highly restricted. Hard hats had to be worn at all times outdoors or else we risked a $2,000-$10,000 fine. We were also instructed as to the sites. Respite Site #3 was our first stop, and then some of us went on to Respite #1. Our job was basically to volunteer for whatever area we felt we could be of the most help and to remember that we were working at RESPITE areas so besides whatever task we were given, we needed to do our best to make the rescue workers, the NYPD, and the FDNY feel like they were receiving some respite from the horrific work they were having to do in “The Pile” (the term they use for the WTC). We were told to smile as much as possible, and make them feel at “home”.

There wasn’t much to see on the way there, but as soon as we stepped off the bus, the stench in the air was enough to knock you over. I don’t even think there’s anything I can liken it to… Something in the vicinity of rotten eggs, but that doesn’t even quite do it justice. The air was thick with it. All shoes had to be hosed off before anyone could walk inside of any buildings so there were people manning the hoses on crude wooden walkways. And badges had to be inspected by military personnel upon entry.

My first stop was Respite #3. I had my shoes washed down and then was taken inside where they gave us a run-down of the facilities. Respite #3 was the Marriott hotel located just behind where the WTC used to be. The first floor was a reception area where everyone entering the building had to come through to show their badges and then sign-in, if necessary, with the Red Cross. The second floor was the dining area (in the elevator the title was simply “Food”). The third floor was the kitchen and also a relaxing area called “The Oasis” filled with Lazy-Boy chairs and a TV and some areas sectioned off for cots where the men could sleep on breaks between shifts. They even had a massage area, a chiropractor, first aid, computers with email access, and Sprint cell phones that the workers could use to call home (free of charge of course). The fourth floor had showers and “Logistics” which was fully stocked with clothing (jeans, shirts, vests, etc.).

My first hour was manning the service elevator. There were a couple of walkie-talkies on which people on the various floors would call for me to run them up and down to the different areas. After which them moved me to greet at the front door, so I opened the door for everyone coming in and leaving. It was amazing how much I got thanked by all the guys!! I wasn’t long there, however, before one of the Red Cross managers asked if I’d mind moving over and working at Respite #1 as they were short-staffed. I gladly went with a few other volunteers.

We had to take a van ride over to Respite #1 which took us directly through The Pile. Seeing the remains of what was once the World Trade Center was one of the most mind-blowing things I have ever EVER experienced. The devastation was absolutely immense. There really are no words, and…I know you all have heard this before, but television truly doesn’t even begin to convey the horror and enormity of what is there.

The Saint Joseph’s University Student Center houses Respite #1 literally a block from The Pile and has pretty much all the same amenities as Respite #3.

The restaurant area was set up with tables holding condiments and in the center of each table were about a dozen cards and pictures made my children across the country that had been sent in to wish all the workers well and thank them for their efforts. Some were really touching!! Every card with a name and address on it receives a response and some of the volunteers spent their time writing back to the children and then having various workers, policemen and firemen sign them before mailing them off. Cards and letters were also posted all over the walls and stacked everywhere…

I was stationed in the warehouse area where the food for the restaurant is delivered and unloaded so I spent a good deal of time outside looking down the street towards the WTC. My best view was of the World Financial Center where the Merrill Lynch offices are located and where I spent a lot of time when I was there (my office was actually at 100 Church Street, just around the corner). The men coming in from the work area looked so exhausted!! Some of my time was spent just leaning against the railing of the walkway where the hoses were and just smiling and saying hello as they’d line up to have their shoes washed. It was honestly all I could do to not hug each and every one of them and I wanted to so badly!! Please pray for them…they have a job I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and it must seem never-ending at times.

I worked from 4pm till midnight…a long shift, but I would’ve kept working if I could!!! Words will never be enough to give you all a real clear view of what those 9+ hours were like, but today was both one of the best and hardest days of my life. I plan to go back and volunteer more of my time…in fact, I can’t wait. I wish you all could do it. It has changed me forever.

Forgive me for not writing sooner… For one thing, I was in Atlanta this past week and have only tonight returned. Aside from that, I had planned to write a full-scale update as soon as I had all the little wrinkles ironed out with what exactly I’m doing and where exactly I’m living, etc. etc. etc. But then Tuesday happened which has changed almost everything. I’m not sure if all of you knew, but Manhattan was my last permanent home prior to moving overseas. This hit way too close to home for me and I have been utterly devastated…as most of you know, New York was not only my home, but also my favorite city.

I’m not going to get into details about what I’m doing… I’m really way too upset to get into what I consider to be the relatively trivial details of my life right now…we all have enough to cope with. So to make a long story short, I arrived back in the States on Aug 5th and interviewed for two jobs. One was with Merrill Lynch in Northern New Jersey (which I have accepted). The other was with a company called Temenos which is located on the 52nd floor of the World Trade Center Tower 1…the first tower that was hit. I can’t even begin to tell you how badly it shook me up to think that I had been in the North Tower only a couple of weeks before this unspeakable horror occurred. Over the last few days this has really weighed on me and made me thank the Lord over and over again for His protection.

I’ve found myself regretting things. I regret having taken my time in New York too much for granted.

I used to come up from the subway every morning just down the street from where those huge, beautiful towers stood. I’d cross over Church Street, and walk to my office building which was just a block down on the left. On Fridays I would stop in at the Krispy Kreme shop on the corner of WTC 5 for my end-of-the-week doughnut. Most days I ate lunch from one of the vendors or deli’s or restaurants in the WTC mall under the Towers. On some nice days I’d sit in the courtyard in front of the Towers on the stone benches surrounding the fountain. I took it completely for granted that they would continue to be there…I mean, why wouldn’t they? I regret not looking up at them more.

Just before I left for Atlanta, I was going to go up to the city to meet some friends and see some colleagues from Merrill in the World Financial Center that I hadn’t gotten a chance to hook up with since arriving back. The morning I was supposed to go, I changed my mind…decided I was too tired… If I had known that would be the last time I’d have been able to be in those Towers and walk around that part of the city which had become so familiar to me, I would have gone. I regret not having gone.

These regrets may seem trite to you all, but they’re not to me.

Aside from the personal shock and sadness, I am heartsick for the thousands of Americans that were in the Towers last Tuesday and their families. I know we all are. I ache for the rescue workers as well…and, like so many of us, only wish I could help! I have also been so touched by how much Americans have all banded together over this! On the drive back from Atlanta today, I can’t tell you how many flags and homemade signs I saw… There were even several electric road-work signs which were programmed to read: “PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN”. Apparently stores all over the US have been selling out of flags and patriotic emblems. I do, of course, have a flag attached to my car antenna and a magnetic one on the trunk.

I wanted to pass along to you all the website of Hope for New York which is a ministry of my church in New York. They are working endlessly with other organizations in the city to cover the needs (both physical and emotional) of the people of New York and all the others that are there as a part of the rescue effort. They already get my money, but I thought I’d pass on their website to you all in case you’re interested… They even allow for online donations to be made in case you want to help (they are a non-profit organization and are listed with the United Way so they are legit): http://www.hfny.org

Well, as for me, I’m going up to New York tomorrow. In some ways I feel like I need to… I don’t think I totally believe that this has happened and I know that seeing it first hand will cure me of that. I have such strong memories of downtown NY in my mind, that I dread having them replaced by the reality of the situation, but I know that it is necessary. I also feel the need to spend some time with my friends who are there…not to mention this is one of my homes which is in a great state of grief and shock.

It has been an unbelievable last few days. I fear we have a long and difficult road ahead. The evil cowards who did this will get what they deserve… Of that I have no doubt.

My prayers are with our hurting country and our leaders as they have a lot of major decisions to make. What a weight they bear!! Please keep them in your prayers as well…and write soon!

God Bless America!

Director David Fincher (Se7en, The Game) does another psychological number with this one. From a technical standpoint, the cinematography was great…the angles alone made for an entertaining film to watch. And the story only made it better.

Edward Norton (Rounders, Primal Fear) gives a captivating performance as a basic white-collar worker who is tired of his 9 to 5, Ikea-furnished existence. His life takes a turn for the better (or is it for the worst?) when he meets Brad Pitt who plays Tyler Durden, an energetic soap-maker. Tyler seems to have the answers to everything and shows him a whole world that he never knew existed…a world where other men take out their anger over their own lives in a secret boxing ring. The boxing ring (known as “Fight Club” to its members) is only the jumping off point for a whole string of other events, which Norton gets dragged into. The story is mostly narrated by Norton which is useful in giving us a little more background than we might have had otherwise, and it works well. The only time the narration becomes somewhat distracting was when Norton speaks directly at the camera rather than just being a voice-over. There was only one time that this occurred and seemed rather inconsistent with the rest of the film.
Pitt also performed well, and was enjoyable in this role when he was being something of a visionary as well as when he was just downright devious.

Helena Bonham Carter (A Room With A View, Howard’s End) plays Marla Singer, a girl with some serious issues (drug related and otherwise) who becomes involved with Durden and ends up hanging around more than she is wanted. Carter does an excellent job in this role and definitely seems to have shed any traces of her previous period work.

Another surprise in this film was Meat Loaf in the part of Bob, a guy with testicular cancer that you end up really feeling for due to Meat Loaf’s performance. You can’t help but want to hug him.

As for the violence, there is a lot. But the film has so much more to it that you can’t help but be fascinated anyway. Those who care to look past the violence will find much to mull over. You may find yourself cringing at times, but ultimately unable to turn away. And you may even catch yourself wanting to see it again once you know the ending to try and use your foreknowledge to see what clues you may have missed along the way.

Fight Club turned out to be a great way to kill a couple of hours…but it is not a veg-out movie by far. If you go, be prepared to think.

Tim Robbins just did a wonderful job, and I was thrilled to see him in such a good film since the last one he acted in was Nothing to Lose in 1997. And Joan Cusak also gave an applause-worthy performance…and even though you didn’t see a whole lot of their kids, they managed to carry off a definite spookiness that really added to the atmosphere and mood of that whole house. Something else that impressed me was that such a relatively small nucleus of a cast managed to pull off such an involved plot and storyline. I was on the edge of my seat throughout the film and couldn’t avoid jumping several times.

The ending which I won’t give away, but have to let it be said that I thought it was incredibly thought provoking and perfect for the film. Couldn’t have been a better ending and that’s important. In many cases an ending can make or break the film. The last movie I saw was great, but the ending could have been a lot better which really hurt the overall film.

Good start, good story, perfect ending…4 stars. This is a film you need to go see in the theatre where you can watch without distractions.