First, let me just say that I am not a mountaineer, but I think that this is less due to a lack of will and more a result of my environment growing up. When you’re raised on the East Coast, there aren’t really a whole lot of mountains around to climb… Hills to hike maybe, but not true mountains. However, for years I have been fascinated by climbing. If there’s a book written about it, I’ve probably read it. If there’s been a movie, documentary, or TV show made, I’ve probably seen it. Even the completely unrealistic, cheesy fictional ones. I also enjoy pushing myself to see what I’m capable of. For example, I refused to take any seasickness medication before going out on my first big sailing trip because I wanted to see if I would actually need it. Turns out I didn’t. I did the same thing when I went to Peru to hike the Inca trail. I didn’t take anything to help with altitude sickness because I wanted to see how well my body would adjust on its own. Turned out it adjusted pretty well, although I did have some issues the one night when we stayed above 14,000 feet. I want to run a marathon this year for this reason. In the same way, the challenge of mountaineering is extremely attractive to me. Pair that with my adventurous spirit, throw in my love affair with mountains and the outdoors, an interest in climbing seems like a natural byproduct.

As many of you know, I was born in Bend, Oregon and I have come to believe that this somehow encoded a love of mountains into my DNA. I adore them (they’re not part of the illustration on my blog by accident!) and can’t underscore enough how much I look forward to living back among them again. But since my parents moved me to the Philly area when I was a mere 6-months-old, my affection for mountains lay dormant until the first time I saw some in person.

I was 20 and was headed to Seattle to attend the Christian Writer’s Conference at Seattle Pacific University. I had first flown to San Francisco and spent a few days with my family there before flying from San Jose up to SEA. I had a window seat and was looking out at the clouds when suddenly noticed a particularly large object jutting up through them. It look me awhile to realize I was staring at Mount Hood. I was so overwhelmed with its beauty that my eyes immediately welled-up with tears. Pictures and movies hadn’t even come close to preparing me for the actual majesty of an in-person mountain.

Alaska was where I became truly addicted to them, though. There is nothing like being up in a small plane and looking out to see nothing but miles upon miles upon miles of a rippled mountain landscape coated in snow. There is something so awe-inspiring and quieting about them that words alone fall short in conveying. In Alaska, you also have the added bonus of being literally surrounded… Some volcanic (like Augustine and Redoubt), but more just the ranges of them that run down to the sea. One of my favorite places to go when I needed to get away for a minute without going far was up to Flattop. Flattop, so named for its flat top, is a mountain just on the edge of Anchorage and part of the Chugach Range. It’s a great hiking mountain in the summer especially, but there’s also a fantastic vista point not far from the parking lot where you can see for miles…all the way up to Denali on a clear day. I used to love to drive up there on winter mornings when the whole of Anchorage was encased in an ice fog. On the drive up, the fog would be dense and heavy, but it would start to thin near the top until suddenly you emerged in the crisp, winter air and glorious sunlight. The city below would be completely cloaked and you could imagine yourself alone in the world. To echo some of Ben’s sentiments from his post, I have always experienced God in the mountains in a different way than I have elsewhere.

Biblically, this makes sense to me as well.  God seems to have a special place in His heart for mountains. I love how He always had His temples among his people, but when He chose to take up residence with the Israelites in the desert and speak to Moses, it was on a mountain. Jesus also had a thing for mountains. The gospels speak repeatedly of him going up into the mountains by himself to pray…sometimes he would stay there all night (Luke 6:12). He also did a lot of his speaking from mountainsides (but I suspect that probably had more to do with acoustics).

Shortly after arriving in Alaska, my friend who moved with me had decided she wanted to go home. Those first few months there after she left were some of the loneliest I’ve ever known as I tried to figure out what my new life would look like 5,000 miles from everything I knew “home” to be. But the great paradox I learned is that it’s in loneliness that I feel the least alone for it’s in loneliness when I am most reminded that I am not alone.  God is there.  As David writes in Psalm 139:7-9…

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

Even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

It was also during this time that God used the mountains as perspective givers for me. If things weren’t going well, or if I was feeling overwhelmed with life, I would just drive out to where I could spend some time with the mountains and in prayer. It’s extremely humbling to stand on (or even next to) something so majestically huge with the knowledge that it was formed by our God through His power alone (Psalm 65:6). He is indeed an awesome God.

I wrote the following poem on 10/14/96 during my first few weeks in Alaska…not surprisingly, it begins and ends with mountains:

The mountains stretch out
Across purple skies
To the end of the world
Or so it seems.
But they do stretch far
Far
Far out of sight.
Beyond comprehension.
Beyond confusion.
Beyond dismissal.
Beyond betrayal.
Beyond lies.
Beyond fear.
Beyond feelings of hopelessness
And loss.
All my fragments
Of ragged dreams
Are swallowed up
In the magnificence
Of jagged rocks
Blanketed with snow.
The enormity
Of the mountains
Makes problems seem
Insignificant.
Small.
Trivial.
Resolvable.
So I sit
In stillness
And focus
On the mountains.

Partly what I love about not just mountains, but the wilderness in general is the peace that’s there. I feel like peace is often so hard to find today in our crazed tilt-a-whirl lives. In an attempt to obtain it, I will sometimes purposely leave my cell phone at home (gasp!). I love when I go on trips that cause me to abandon my connections to the world. I have found that when I extract myself from the craziness of life, turn off my cell phone, and just allow myself to be quiet, God is able to speak without competing distractions, and I find I am often more apt to hear Him. The wilderness gives me an excuse to do that.

John Muir once said:

To the lover of wilderness, Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.

When I had gone back to AK for a visit in 2002, it was a particularly clear day and Denali was so stunning, I decided to go on a flight-seeing trip out of Talkeetna up to the mountain.  It was kind of last minute, and outside of the regular tourist schedule, but I found someone to take me and ended up with a bonus – the pilot was flying the first climber of the season out to Denali base camp and I got to ride along. On the way back, the pilot told me about someone he had dropped off on a glacier near Denali for several weeks over the winter. I had actually read an article about it so was even more interested when the pilot told me he had been their “taxi” to and from their adventure. To be left in the middle of the mountains in Alaska would probably be a nightmare for some, but it sounded like heaven to me.

There has been a lot of judgment flying around from the so-called “armchair experts” who are, in my opinion, awfully brash – throwing their dogmatic opinions at people and on topics about which they have little knowledge and no personal experience. While not a mountain climber myself (or at least not currently), I still can understand the drives and the desires that motivate them… I also know the joy that comes in doing something you love, even when discomfort – or even danger – are involved. I think I realized this the most acutely on the second day of the Inca Trail. It was the day I both looked forward to and dreaded with the same breath. Most guidebooks even referred to it as “grueling”. We were coming up to the highest point of the trek at 13,770 feet – Dead Woman’s Pass. We were tired, sore, hungry, wet, and cold. I remember stopping for a breather at one point and saying to one of the other members of my group that I was walking with that, even though I was as physically uncomfortable as I was, I was also incredibly happy. “At this moment,” I told her, “there is absolutely no other place in the world I would rather be.”

That’s a fantastic state to be in. One day, I hope to reside there permanently… For now though, part of my journey is learning to live in contentment with where God has me. But He also knows my heart…better than anyone else…and He understands the irresistable song the mountains sing to me and maybe one day He will place me among them again. Perhaps then I’ll start to climb them too.

Here’s the Reader’s Digest version as best as I can tell it…

I am (or was?) going out to Seattle to help Janelle & Sean with some logistical issues that cropped up last minute which were potentially going to keep them going on their long-overdue honeymoon.  I am of course MORE than happy to help them out – the only hurdle being…you guess it…work.

Rather than being forced to take a week & a half vacation time off work, it struck me that there really is no reason I couldn’t just work while I’m there.  After all, my friends wouldn’t be around so I would have flexible scheduling during the day with early mornings & evenings free.  Practically tailor-made time for getting stuff done!

Now here’s the rub: Major events taking place in our department this month which include a big project on the table that I’ve been placed in charge of threaten my ability to be as flexible and mobile as I might otherwise be.  (Figures)

This was also something I did not foresee when originally posed with the question last Monday which was in the middle of All Things Christmas and therefore there was no discussion to be had about it in the office until all management returned from their respective vacations.

I did bring it up to management first thing yesterday. I brought it up again at the end of the day. Both times being met with a, “Let me think about it” response. If I hadn’t already been teetering on the edge of insanity, that just about pushed me over.

Time was becoming increasingly important in terms of being able to get a ticket and work out all of the other logistics.  To say I was a little antsy would be the first major understatement of 2009.  I hate feeling like I have no control over decisions like this in my own life.  But the truth is that, unless you work for yourself (which I plan to someday!) your employer really does own your time in many ways.

So then today I re-approached the situation with the intent of expressing the need for a “best guess” decision since a plane ticket was riding on the response. I proposed two options my favorite being where they would approve me working remotely until Tuesday (2/3) when Sean & Jel returned where I could then take off the rest of the week and so get some visiting time in before coming home myself.  The other option was that I would not work, but would then need to leave the same day S&J returned so I could be back in the office by Wednesday, 2/4.

Earlier this afternoon I got my answer:  Neither.  Instead, they would approve me to work remotely for one week, but no more – I would need to be back in the office on Monday, 2/2.

The good news is that this was a major exception they were making for me – they wouldn’t even consider approving such a request for most other people in part because they trust me and my ability to get everything done that I needed to do. Naturally it’s still not the optimum situation – I’d much rather stay and get a couple of days with S&J before having to come home. With this alternative, I won’t even see them at all…MAJOR bummer.

Anyway, we’re still living with one foot in the Land of Limbo because it seems there may be one other alternative which would potentially preclude me from needing to go out there at all. I’m okay either way – at least I know where I stand with work now…and, at the end of the day, this was all about helping my friends and so whatever works best for them is what I’m in favor of.

Of course if I don’t go at all, then I would also say that this should buy me some extra time during my next trip during our 4th Annual Labor Day Seattle Extravaganza.

So despite the last couple of days being such a rollercoaster ride, the hardest part of the waiting is over and we should have everything completely ironed out soon.

Tell the fat lady she’s on in five.

Pictures are posted on Flickr which really speak for themselves, but here are a few highlights from the trip:

1. Dinner, laughs, and commandeering the jukebox at Diamond Knot with Amy & Jel.
2. Reliving the 80’s & 90’s music videos on YouTube.
3. Doing the MIB dance with Will for the first time in almost a decade.
4. Introducing Sean to “Dumb & Dumber”.
5. Dealing with the smell I most commonly associate with NYC in a Seattle’s Best Coffee shop in downtown Seattle.
6. N.E.I.E.C.
7. Dancing in the parking lot of the QFC to one of our old mix tapes until 50 cops showed up for some reason which made us nervous so we sped off.
8. Trying to find parking for the new PCC – have people never seen one before??
9. Cracking up in the grocery store…what were we laughing at anyway?
10. Getting to spend 10 whole days with my best friend.

Click here for the full set of photos.

Go ahead and read that last sentence again if you have to.

Janelle & Sean had decided to make it a surprise wedding.  They started by making sure the people who lived the furthest away knew about it (like me) so they could make plans to attend, if at all possible.  Then Janelle had to steal her wedding dress from a closet at her mom’s without anyone noticing.  They wanted to hold the ceremony (and reception) on a small yacht while cruising around Lake Washington.  Sean came up with the idea of telling the family that he had won a catered party on a boat as some sort of holiday raffle prize from his work (Microsoft) which would provide them with an excuse for getting everyone all dressed up and onto the boat.  In the last few weeks, Janelle & Sean set about making all of the other arrangements (caterer, music, photographer, etc.).  Finally the wedding weekend was upon all of us.

I flew to Seattle after work on the 21st and took a shuttle to the house (after some great debacle at the airport where apparently Seatac had about a billion people who had flown in for the holiday and so there were about a billion people trying to pick them all up).  Saturday was mani/pedi day and otherwise was spent making sure I wasn’t seen by Jel’s family in order to avoid suspicion.  Sunday was crazy…  There was running and showering and rain and hair appointments and timing issues with trying to get everyone and everything onto the boat (bride, goom, dress, etc.) without being seen by Janelle’s dangerously punctual family.  But it all got done.

Finally the stage was set.  The characters were in place.  Sean, Zaiah, and Keelie were downstairs.  Jel and I were in the back bedroom getting her laced up in her beautiful gown.  She was gorgeous.  Captain Jim had everyone seated for the Coast Guard safety talk.  Then the music began.  Janelle and I walked out.  All you heard aside from the music was gasps from the family members as it dawned on them what was going on.  Zaiah walked her up the aisle.  The Reverend Captain Jim performed the ceremony.  Zaiah read a poem he wrote about his joy in God’s provisioning of a father to love him, to make his mom happy, and his sister.  There were no dry eyes.  Sean and Janelle exchanged vows and words of love, thankfulness, and devotion.  This day was a long time coming for both of them – and I don’t just mean the time they were engaged.  If I could have dedicated a song to be played for them, I’d have chosen this one:

The Broken Road
by Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are

Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

Once the ceremony was done, we partied.

The whole weekend was a blur, really.  If I didn’t have the pictures, I might not even be convinced that it actually happened.  But it did…and it was by far the highlight of my year.