In the last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about health and nutrition.  I’ve got a number of little annoying health issues that have been bugging me (e.g. allergies, digestion due to lack of a gall bladder, arthritis in my foot left over from when I broke it, etc.) and I’ve been looking into ways to help these issues by doing something “simple” like changing my eating habits.

This of course isn’t a bad thing to do…in fact, it’s something I should probably be a little more conscious about anyhow.  I’ve already made changes in my lifestyle over the past few years between not eating any artificial sweetners, cutting out soda, hydrogenated oils, etc. but I’m feeling more like maybe something more radical is called for.

I expressed this interest/desire to a friend of mine at church who had some fabulous insight and pointed me to a detox plan that she and her husband have been doing for years now called “The Fast Track Detox Diet“.  Yeah, I know, sounds a little hokey, but she loaned me her book and, upon reading as well as listening to her story, it has prompted me to give it a try.

At its core, the plan is a liver/colon detox plan.  As everyone knows, we’re bombarded with toxins day-in-day-out in our normal environment.  With cancer, diabetes, and obesity on the constant rise, it certainly can’t hurt to employ a little more deliberate action into our eating and even going through a periodic detox, right?  So I’ve decided to give it a go.

This plan seemed a lot more feasible to me than others I’ve read about…  For one thing, it doesn’t require a unrealistic eating regimen to be followed for weeks on end.  It’s 11 days.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t control my environment and pantry for months-on-end, but 11 days I can certainly handle…

So this week has been about reading, gathering intelligence, and getting myself psyched out to start the plan.  My friend has been a huge help since she’s as excited as I am.  Since I recognize that the stage for success is set by surrounding myself with everything I need so I’m also working through my shopping list, meal plans, and all that jazz.

Thursday is the day I’ve set aside to hit the farmer’s markets and hook myself up with all the veggies I need.  The fruits are best gotten frozen, so I’ll probably make run to Whole Foods or the like to make sure I have plenty of organics in that department.  Veggies on the list include those which are known for being especially good for the liver & colon like artichokes, broccoli, cauliflower, etc.  Of course there are supplements involved such as whey, flaxseed oil, and other fun items like that.  In addition I can’t neglect my proteins which will include free range chicken, grass-fed beef, and farm-fresh eggs.

Another aspect to this whole process is the clarity that seems to come with detox so I think journaling will certainly be in order…  Not sure how much of it will be appropriate to place on the blog, but I will post what I can just so I can share with you all how the whole process goes.  I’m even looking at possibly getting a massage in during my detox day – it’s been over 2 years since I’ve had one of those so it would most definitely be a welcome addition to the day.

In particular I’ve been told/read that the juice fast day is one of particular mental and spiritual clarity and renewal.  Have to also admit that I can’t wait to see what God chooses to use this time for and what insight He might provide me during this time.

In essence, I am committing to “eating clean” for a solid 11 days including a one-day full-out juice detox day (7 days before the fast, and 3 days after).  The more I’ve read and researched, the more excited about the prospect I become.

Detox…bring it on!

“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun.  Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious.  You could break a bone or a heart.  You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you.  And in life, there’s no safety net.  When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & the City

Okay, so I wanted to do a little…well…talking, I suppose.  And I didn’t want to put it out on the blog without a password because I’m not entirely sure that the guy I’m talking about hasn’t discovered this blog yet.  My plan originally was not to tell him about it, but alas I sent an email that had a link to it at the bottom (oops) and so I’m not certain that he didn’t see it and click on it thereby rendering all things posted as potentially unsafe.

[UPDATE:  Since we are now several months past this whole event, I have removed the password and changed the names to protect the innocent so I feel there's no longer any danger in making this visible to the world.]

I should probably begin by explaining how, around my birthday I had a moment of pure optimism and rejoined eHarmony for the first time in over 2 years.  I’m sure I just made Cbo’s head explode or at the very least, her skin crawl with that statement.  Honestly, I can’t say that I disagree with either of those responses.  In fact the first couple of days, the only matches I received were balding men in their late-40’s who looked for the most part like they either had a bunch of bodies hidden in the freezer, still live at home with mom & dad, or some combination of both.  However, now 3 weeks later, there have been a few thrown across my match page which actually managed to catch my attention.

Only two of them have I actually gotten all the way to emailing with so far.  One of them is 2 months out of a 4 year relationship and while I know that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not ready for another one, he did bring up his ex twice in the first phone conversation we had prompting me to ask how long the relationship had been over for.  That doesn’t bode well and I can’t ignore the little robot inside me screaming “Danger, Will Robinson!” while waving red flags.

The other one of the two is who really intrigued me.

For the sake of privacy, I’ll just call him H.  H is 39, lives in Massachusetts, and has lived a very VERY interesting existence up to this point.  In our conversation last night (which lasted over 2 hours) I found myself shocked that this guy was still single.  He doesn’t seem to be emotionally stunted.  Nor does he appear to be socially inept.  He doesn’t spend his weekends LARPing.  He’s not a closet serial killer, and he assured me that he’s not gay (although I’m not sure why he felt the need to assure me of that) and has never before been married.

But…I can’t help think there’s got to be SOMETHING.  Something about this guy has got to be off…  He’s good-looking (or at least that’s what I pick up from his photos and just some other in-between-the-lines indicators), he’s got a family he loves, he’s insanely upfront and open, and by all counts appears to be just one of those “good guys” you always read about.  So…where’s that other shoe that surely about to drop right on my head?  I have no idea…at least not yet.

Now I’m not typically this skeptical…  In fact, more often than not, I’m the glass-is-half-full girl, however in the realm of dating (ESPECIALLY online dating), I tend towards being cautious.  I can’t help it.  I think anyone would who’s been burned as often as I have would be.  I’ve actually lost count of how many guys I’ve had great phone conversations with, but who turned out to be total duds in person.  I also have had others seem as great in person as they were on the phone only to never be heard from again after our meet-and-greet.  One even was amazing on email, practically proposing to me on the phone, but then when it came time to meet up in person, he completely freaked out and couldn’t go through with it.  Still others were not even interested enough to venture into a phone conversation.

That’s just a taste of my experiences in this arena – can you blame me therefore if I look at these new guys a little sideways?  The wounds are no longer raw from these other idiots in my past, but the scars are still there.

H’s story, as best I can summarize, is that he’s spent the majority of his life living and/or traveling all over the world (sound like anyone you know?)  He was in the Air Force working as a photojournalist.  About a year or so ago he was struck by a drunk driver and suffered a near-broken back.  The last year he’s spent in physical therapy getting back to himself.  He was unfortunately forced to give up his job since he couldn’t lift a can of coke let alone a camera bag, and so he ended up taking a job with a company in Mass. which focuses on technology program management (which sounds very similar to what I do with project management).

From what else I can gather, he’s smart, very articulate, extremely trusting, and doesn’t appear to have any unabomber tendencies.  Even though I don’t see any glaring red flags as yet, I think there is a potential yellow or orange one.  One of the questions he posed to me before we got into the whole open-emailing phase was centered around how I felt about opposite gender close friends.  We discussed this a little further last night since I had a hard time answering that question with the multiple choice selection, and I was sure there must be some driving force behind him asking it in the first place.  Turns out one of his best friends is a woman.  We didn’t discuss at length since it’s nothing I felt needed to be talked over in an initial phone conversation.  Neither would I care unless we became seriously involved.  Essentially I feel that if I were to end up in a serious relationship/marriage with any guy, I would expect that the most intimate relationship in my and his life would be ours.  I would think it strange if I got married and my best friend continued to be some guy I knew that wasn’t my husband…and I would hope my husband would think that would be strange as well!  Call me crazy, but I’ve seen relationships torn apart over less.  I’m not saying it would be an issue, but just that it could be.  However, it’s also not something I’m particularly concerned with right now – just one more reason for caution.

So that’s all the news…at least for now.  Looks like I may actually get to meet him as early as May.  I was going up to Boston anyway to hang w/S and the girls over that weekend so H might come and take me out for dinner.  I’ll be sure to keep you guys posted.

Oh the post title?  Yeah, that was just a reminder to myself to remain cautious, but not be timid.  Cross the road, just make sure you look both ways.

XOXO

New Year’s Day…now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.  – Mark Twain

Well 2009 is off to a fantastic start. Yesterday was dull. Today is duller (if that were even possible). I was going to go to S’s for dinner tonight and then go see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button but alas, she had to cancel and so now I’m doing nada.  I’ll probably stay in and watch more of The Food Network.  You laugh, but I’m dead serious.  I’ve been a little food-obsessed since being sick last week.  It would seem that my body does not recover quickly from stomach-related illnesses, so I can’t eat anything right now outside of Jell-O, bread, water, and broth.  As a result, I’ve taken to eating vicariously through others.  I’ve been watching hours upon hours of The Food Network…Big Daddy’s House, Rachael Ray, Iron Chef…you name it, I’m watching it and salivating over everything on the screen.  In addition, I’ve been actually reading my recipe books and making lists of all the wonderful sounding dishes I’m going to whip up when I’m able to eat again.  It’s like Jim Gaffigan says – when you’re hungry, The Food Network is like porn.

So crazy food obsession aside, right now I feel like I’m in a holding pattern. It’s Friday, but it’s a weird Friday because yesterday the office was closed and so most [sane] people took today off. I was originally supposed to have it off as well, but due to the possible Seattle venture later this month, I felt it was more wise to not use up any vacation I didn’t absolutely have to take. See, I got a message from Jel & Sean on Monday – they’re set to finally go on their honeymoon, but their plans for the care of their kids fell through at the last minute. They exhausted all resources on their end and then came to see if I would consider coming out to Seattle to watch the kids for the last portion of their honeymoon trip. I would love to, of course – their kids are awesome, and they’re practically family to me, so I would do whatever it took to help them out. The only catch is that I can’t really afford to use up all of that time as vacation. I sent an email to AD to see if he would consider letting me work remotely as an alternative. There’s really no reason why I couldn’t – I won’t have anything else to do when I’m not watching KJ or running Z around, so it would be a great opportunity to shake up a dreary winter and help out my friends. Thing is, I just don’t know what he’s going to say.

I have never asked for flexibility to this extent, so I’m hoping that he’ll be cool with it. However, every once in awhile he’s surprised me by not being okay with something that I think he will be. I’m trying not to worry about it, but it’s hard… After all, I’m having to wait a week to hear his response so the suspense has been building and building and building. I feel like I’m in some horror movie with high-pitched violin music in the background waiting for an axe-weidling Jack Nicholson to come flying at me from around the next corner.  It could happen.

I also am having an I’m-so-sick-of-my-life-I-can-hardly-stand-it moment today. You know the kind – where I’m wishing I was anywhere but here.  Some of it is I’m sure brought on by the stress I’m feeling over not knowing what will happen at work on Monday.  Some of it is tied into the promotion thing which I’m still steamed about.  Some of it is the weather.  Some of it is how insanely morgue-like it’s been in the office this past week.  Some of it is my unfinished kitchen floor.  Some of it is my missing baseboards.  Some of it is my hideous backyard.  Some of it is my hair which I just couldn’t get to look quite right this morning.  And some of it is just my insatiable hunger for change that I do not see being fulfilled any time in the foreseeable future.

I have a headache, I’m cold, I’m tired, and I was told I could leave at 2, but alas I personally am stuck here until at least 4.  Sigh.  I had this Chicken Noodle Soup in a Bread Bowl from Panera for lunch.  The soup was way creamier than I would have expected for what traditionally has been a broth soup, and then combined with the bread (which I think has expanded in my stomach to roughly the size of Japan), I’m finding myself to be uncomfortably full now.

I guess you could say that I’m not really having the best day.

I know, I know…it’s a new year full of hope and promise and doves and pixie dust. Well not in my narcotic-free world…and the rest of you should stop doing drugs if you’re seeing doves and pixie dust.

New Years actually ignored me this year.  Literally.   I completely missed midnight.   I was talking to Jel on the phone and we hung up while there were still 7 minutes on the clock for 2008.  Next time I looked at the clock, the one on the stand said midnight, but apparently it was slow because the one on the cable box said 12:03.  So I unknowingly christened in 2009 with ice water while watching Iron Chef America.   Exciting stuff.  No New Year’s kiss (when was the last time I was kissed anyway?  2005, but 1998 was my last Near Years kiss I think…that’s awfully sad), no champagne, no pomp, no circumstance…practically no New Years at all.

So I officially have skipped the holidays this year.   I refuse to believe that Christmas happened because I was so sick that I virtually have no memory of it, and now after being snubbed by New Years, I think perhaps the better position to take is that there were no holidays this year – they just didn’t happen.

I suppose I could use this time to document my 2009 New Year resolutions, but how can I document resolutions for a year that snuck in like some sort of deviant ashamed to come to the front door?  Do I really want to encourage that behavior?  Well, I guess regardless of how it arrived, 2009 is actually here, so I should at least acknowledge its presence with some sort of list of things to accomplish over the next 12 months, so here we go…

2009 New Year Resolutions

1. Finish off my debt (at least everything but house-related)
2. Get back into shape (something that has been severely lacking since leaving NYC also)
3. Formulate a 5-year plan (this seems appropriate since I’ll be 35 this year and would like to have something sorted out for where I’ll be when I’m 40)
4. Partake in 2009’s holiday season since I missed out on 2008
5. Cook at least one new recipe at home each week.

So that’s it for this year…  I don’t like to go too crazy with resolutions – would rather keep them smaller and therefore things that could actually be achieved which is why “Climb Everest” didn’t make the list this year.

What are your New Years resolutions?

It’s that time of year again…  Time for cookies, trees, gifts, snow (if you’re lucky), songs, mistletoe, ornaments, lights, and joy at celebrating the birth of Jesus.  It’s also time for yearly updates.  Every year I receive tons of letters from my friends telling me all about the seemingly endless amounts of awesome things their kids accomplished – Johnny took his first steps, Billy said his first word, Jane walked on the moon, Susie found the cure for cancer…  And each year as I sit and read through these letters, I’m struck by just how much I have NOT done.

Or at least, the past few years have been like that.

Prior to 2005, I typically felt like I had a lot to say come December.  I was moving to or living in or traveling through amazing places – Alaska, Europe, Asia, New York City…  But then I moved back to Bucks County – not far from where I grew up – and the excitement seems to have ceased.

I debated as to whether or not to even write something for this year having felt outdone by just about everyone else out there…after all, how can you beat out someone taking their first steps?  But after some thought on the matter, I decided that perhaps it was more important do go through this exercise for 2008 because it would help me focus on finding the things that were worth mentioning.

So in the name of hoping 2008 was worth it, I give you…

2008: Year of the Rat

(I’m not making that up – check the Chinese calendar if you don’t believe me)

Let’s begin with 10 “stills” in my life (because it would be more depressing to end there – not that they’re all negatives or anything, but you know what I mean):

1. I’m still in Pennsylvania
2. I’m still single
3. I still live in the same townhouse
4. I still have the same fabulous roommate
5. I still have Chena the Amazing Dog & Brighton the Great Bird – Chena turned 2 this year and Brighton turned 10
6. I still work for the same company
7. I still have the same job…or in this environment, perhaps it’s most meaningful to say I still HAVE a job
8. I still have debt
9. I still love coffee
10. I still hate raw tomatoes

Below is a summary of 2008…such as it was:

January

I went to Atlanta to visit my family while Jo & Josh were there. I also found Dave Ramsey and decided set New Years Resolutions to lose weight, start living on a budget, and begin a plan to pay off my debt.

February

I started my budget.  I also found out that my foot which I broke in Vermont in 2005 was, in fact, still broken so I was going to have to treat it by wearing this weird bone stimulator (no, it’s not like that – get your mind out of the gutter)  10 hours/day for 6 months.  Yay.

March

Gas prices really started soaring, but I still managed to budget in a trip up to Boston to visit Esther & the girls for a long weekend over my birthday.

April

I started attending a Financial Peace University class that was being held locally and I found an amazing church…FINALLY.

May & June

Absolutely nothing of note took place.  Nothing.  May & June were a total waste this year.

July

I discovered I had a nest of yellowjackets my attic.  That was it.

August

Like its predecessors of May & June, August failed to contribute anything of interest for 2008.  I think I saw a movie.

September

The most exciting month all year!  I went to Seattle to visit Jel & Co.  A blast, as always, made even better by the fact that we had a full week to relax & hang.

October

Not as fun as September, but pretty.  Great foliage this year.  I also had new hardwood floors installed on the ground floor of my home. Oh, and I handed out candy to a lot of princesses & vampires with a few Harry Potter’s thrown in.

November

The removal of all the election paraphernalia from yards & TV was a highlight of my month, second only to the birth of my first nephew – Ronan Powell Rogers.  Yay!  And then of course there was Thanksgiving.  Yum.

December

I calculated that by the end of this year, I’ll have paid off 52% of my unsecured debt (36% of my overall debt) thanks to my budget, Dave Ramsey, and God.  I’ve lost 20 pounds of the untold amount I put on after moving out of NYC – still some to go, but I’m on the right track!  I got a Wii & a Wii Fit.

I really can’t underscore the importance of this task.  It’s huge and has required a lot of sacrifice which, in turn, has made for a relatively boring 2008.  And perhaps I should go ahead and warn everyone now that 2009 & 2010 will be going up against 2008 on that front.  In 2011, I’ll be sure to give the title of Most Boring Year to one of these 3 contenders because, let’s face it, until I get my debt paid off, I may not being doing much else between now and then…although I do foresee a trip to North Dakota to see my nephew this coming year and perhaps a smaller getaway or two if I can manage it – we’ll see if that budget will allow me that!  I became a moderator in December of last year for the GAP Adventures travel forum called The Watering Hole which, while a technically a volunteer position, carries with it some other nice perks like credit towards GAP trips which I might be able to leverage towards this end.

In closing, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  I sincerely hope your 2008 was more interesting than mine…  But now look out 2009 – here we come!

Crisp & cold, Saturday was thankfully sunny and lacking in precipitation. Took me about 2 hours to reach Kim’s hotel, and we then headed over to Intercourse (I feel dirty just typing that) for lunch.

Intercourse, PA.  So the Amish are not as pure & wholesome as they’d like us to think.  And can I just say that the town itself totally capitalizes on the whole inappropriateness of its name.  Slogans like the one from the pretzel factory where you can get ‘em “Soft or Hard” litter the billboards. It’s like a dirty marketer’s dream. I felt like I needed a shower upon leaving.

Anyhow, we met up with Beck (my friend, not the band) at Kitchen Kettle Village for lunch at the Kling House Restaurant (not to be confused with a Klingon restaurant). Afterwards, I took Kim back to the hotel for the wedding while Beck & I headed to Lititz where we grabbed Len, et. al and b-lined it for Hershey.

After much traffic, we arrived, parked, and were ready to enter when much to our dismay, discovered that the previously admission-free Candylane was charging nearly $10 per person! Apparently Hershey wasn’t satisfied with just making the money you’d spend once you entered. Right on, Hershey Corporate Decision-Makers. Way to increase people’s expenses in an already struggling economy! Good call. Really. (Can you see the sarcasm oozing off my words?)

Anyway, the fee included children, which meant to walk through Candylane in what we could stand of the freezing cold would have cost us nearly $70. Um…PASS!

So the kids were disappointed…heck, I was disappointed…but for that much money, we really had no choice. Boo Hershey.

Regardless, it was a fun few hours of driving around, and I’m glad I got to hang out with my friends who I haven’t seen in far too long.

I did manage to capture a few pics from the outside of the park and Hershey’s Chocolate World before we left, so here they are. I apologize that there aren’t more, but I’m giving you what I’ve got and so you’ll just have to make do:

That, in a nutshell, was my weekend. Oh, I guess there was just one more little thing…

I GOT A Wii!!

Yes, that’s right… After much deliberation and a full consultation with my Budget Committee, it was decided that I should get myself a Wii for Christmas. Partially for the gym membership dollars it will save me, and partially because I calculated out that by the end of 2008, I will have paid off just over $40K in debt this year!!

Now anyone who has gotten (or has tried to get) a Wii during Christmas shopping season might be wondering how I managed to obtain said Wii. Well, I had to get God involved. So I prayed. I told God I knew it was a silly thing, but that I really wanted a Wii for Christmas. I told Him I wanted the Wii Fit too, but would be happy with just a Wii.

I looked online. Everyone was sold out. I combed the stores (including while I was out in Lancaster) to no avail. Every place informed me that any time they got Wii’s in their stock shipments, they’d be sold out almost instantly. People would be waiting outside the stores before they opened in the mornings just hoping for a Wii. They said it was no different for the Wii Fit.

One store told me that the only way to get one would be to call during the week when their shipment comes in to see if any have arrived and then to come over immediately to get it. Since I work and have no one else to run my errands, this was not a valid option.

The odds of getting one by Christmas were looking increasingly unlikely. Then came Sunday night.

I was online flipping through Amazon (which I had done a thousand times before) and I decided to go check the Wii page (which I had done at least a hundred times before) when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer!  Wait…that’s not right.  Let me back up…

The Amazon page must have JUST refreshed its inventory because to my wondering eyes appeared AVAILABLE Wiis!! So I snagged one. They were sold out again within an hour or so and I haven’t seen the page restocked since. Ha ha!

Then Monday morning I had a similar tale where I managed to grab a Wii Fit off Best Buy online. They restocked, I got it. They were sold out within about 15 minutes and haven’t restocked since. Another ha ha!

So I got my Wii AND my Wii Fit. But wait, there’s more! They’ll both be arriving BEFORE Christmas!! Merry Christmas indeed!

Yay! Or should I say, Wii!

Here’s the thing – I’m a writer.  No really, I am.   I’m not a writer in the sense that I actually publish stuff (unless you count my blog – my blog would probably count itself, but I would disagree because I control the printing).  So maybe I’m not a writer in the Pulitzer-Prize-winning-New-York-Times-Bestseller-Hollywood-wants-the-movie-rights sense, but I do write and always have.

I wrote my first full-length book at age 11 called “Dana of Warm Springs” which was inspired by and shamelessly modeled after – you guessed it – “Anne of Green Gables”.  I should probably mention that my first full-length story at age 7 called “The Oddness of Andrew” was inspired by and shamelessly centered on a boy in my 1st grade class named – you guessed it – Andrew.

Given these real (and somewhat embarrassing) facts, I feel like it just shouldn’t be that hard to string together enough words to create a new blog post.  And yet, it somehow is.

This is partially driven by the fact that I know I have readers, and I don’t want to disappoint you.   I don’t want to bother writing something that would either offend, annoy, or cause any of you to fall into a coma or wish for death.  I would hate to think that anyone would read my ramblings strictly out of a sense of duty either – I want this to be a fun and (dare I say) engaging experience for all. It would break my heart to think that reading one of my posts would be second only to a root canal in the amount of pain and anguish caused.

My blog is now telling me to shut-up and change the subject or it’s going to walk.  Fine.  Maybe if I just keep typing, something of interest will come to me.   I can’t believe I’m listening to a stupid blog.

Okay, so I’m just going to aimlessly type now.  Here goes…  Wish me luck!

So, the bulk of 2008 is behind us (phew!) and the future is in front of us (isn’t it always?), and I find myself again staring at the calendar in bewilderment wondering where the time has gone.  Seems to me I do this every year.  How very déjà vu.

I love November in general, mainly because it’s Thanksgiving month which is one of my favorite holidays. Christmas would be top of that list, but Thanksgiving is just plain fun with its pre-Winter weather and fabulous food. Yum. I think Americans (or at least this one) tend to see Thanksgiving as the official start of the “Holiday Season” which of course runs through New Years.

Since we’re nearing the end of the year, I’ve been taking a look back and trying to see how I’m doing on my 2008 resolutions overall.

For those who haven’t been following along all year, my resolutions were:

• Lose weight
• Live on a budget

To-date, I managed to get (and mostly stay) on Weight Watchers since January.  From January through July, I got myself almost  back to where I was when I moved from NYC.   To be totally honest, I fell off the proverbial wagon and into a vat of junk food for about 2.5 months, but a couple of weeks ago I got my slightly-fatter ass back on track and am almost back to where I had landed in August.  Of course the holidays will be tough, but I think I can do it.

The budget has been even better.  For quite possibly the first time in my life, I can actually tell you where every single cent that has come into my possession this year has gone.  I know what I’ve spent and where.   I know how much I have currently, and I know exactly what my last 3 paychecks of the year are going to do.   It is an amazing the control & peace that comes with being able to say that!  Part of this budget living has been with the objective of paying off as much debt as possible this year.  As I’ve said previously, my ultimate goal is to be debt-free by the end of 2010 (if not sooner) and I’m definitely on track to achieve that having gotten almost 50% paid off in 2008 alone.

Can I get a “WOW!”?

Now I know that 2009 will probably not allow me to make as huge a dent in this mountain – we’ve already been told that bonuses will be down and we may not see any raises this year.  Additionally, it’s looking like thanks to a miscalculation on my part, I may end up owing taxes as well.  But none of that matters right now because 2008 will still have been a smashing success in this area, and I am primed to at least keep moving forward.  Considering I have acquired no new debt since January and my credit cards were hacked to pieces in February, I think it’s safe to say that I will end in a much much MUCH better place than I did last year.

It’s still too early to start writing my 2009 resolutions as 2008 isn’t over yet.  But for what remains of the year, I just have to keep playing that line from the end of Star Wars where Luke and the other members of the Rebellion are out to destroy the Death Star and the one fighter pilot keeps saying to the others in this oddly calm voice: “Stay on target, stay on target.”

That will be my mantra for the next 7 weeks.  I promise I will write before then, but in the meantime, “May the Force be with you.”

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11

The saying that “hindsight is always 20/20” is an interesting one because people typically use it when referring to things they think they should have done like, “Oh, if I had only invested in Microsoft when it first went public…” However, I think it’s also something that applies at times to understanding God’s providence and protection of us.

Sometimes things happen and we have absolutely no clue as to why – for instance, you miss a plane and end up taking another flight, but unless the plane you were supposed to be on doesn’t go down in flames, there doesn’t seem to be any obvious reason as to why you missed that one particular flight. Other times, I think we’re shown reasons why something happens the way that it does – like God gives us a little peek into His plan and, while there may be thousands (or even millions) of reasons why something happens the way that it does, we are shown one or two of those reasons that perhaps impact only us.

I am having one of those moments.

This has so far been one of the craziest most historical weeks I have known since I started working in financial services. As the sub-prime mortgage market continues to wreak havoc on the industry, we are all watching the decimation of companies like Lehman Brothers while Merrill Lynch is consumed by Bank of America. AIG is next on the chopping block if someone doesn’t step in to save the day by helping them raise the capital they need to stay afloat. There’s something really sad about watching companies of 100+ years disappear…even sadder when you realize that it could have been avoided if not for the over-leveraging of debt. Hm…perhaps Dave Ramsey is right – perhaps too much debt and risk is not wise! I see “leverage” in reference to debt as fast becoming a dirty word in financial circles. For a taste of the impact this is having, consider that Merrill Lynch stock closed yesterday at $16.59. Lehman Brothers was at $0.18. Imagine if you worked there and your retirement account consisted of mostly company stock. Can you say, “Enron”? Scary, sad stuff.

That’s what’s happening now, but let me take you back to 2006…

Merrill was trading around $80. I had moved out of NYC to take another role with ML in Princeton in October 2005. I had been with the company for almost 10 years, but due to circumstances beyond my control, I ended up leaving the company. It was a tough decision – I had been with ML a long time and had a lot of connections and loyalty there, but after much thought and prayer, I knew it was the right thing to do. As a result of my changing companies, I transferred my 401(k) out of the company which forced me to sell the bulk of my stock holding and purchase mutual funds instead. In an effort to also have a stake in my new company, I sold about half of what little ML stock I had left and purchased shares of the new company (since this is a public post, I’m not going to say where I work now, but most of those reading this already know).

From where I stand now, I look back on the series of events that after a decade moved me away from Merrill Lynch only a year before things started to fall apart. Merrill began their write-down’s from the sub-prime fallout in late 2007 and has been struggling as a company ever since. There have been layoffs, salary freezes, and bonus cuts. It has not been an easy time over there – every time I go to look up one of my friends, I can never be sure whether they’re still employed.

By the end of 2007, Merrill was trading at $58. By August of this year, their stock was hovering in the $20’s. Meanwhile, because of the company change, I ended up getting out of almost all my Merrill holdings (which included about half of my 401(k)) at $84. Wow.

Again, I don’t want to go into details about my current company, but suffice it to say that we are standing strong. Even in this environment, we are hiring. Last year we saw raises and increased bonuses. We have stood out as one of the true industry leaders. We have been (and will continue to be from what I can tell) part of the solution and not the problem. Where my friends and colleagues from other firms are worried about their jobs, I have security I would have never imagined in an industry environment like this.

I could have never predicted this, but that’s where I see the hand of God. He knew that this was coming down the road. By moving me out of Merrill Lynch when He did He knew that I would be secured in a way I could have never foreseen or even imagined. I’m not at all trying to say that if I was still with Merrill that He wouldn’t have had a purpose in that – His sovereignty oversees all situations and circumstances – but the fact is that He didn’t leave me there.

I also find that these moments where I get to see 20/20 increases my ability to trust Him through the times where things might not turn out so obviously well. I praise Him when they do (e.g. saving me from Merrill), but also when they don’t (e.g. still single at 34 – what the heck?). I guess you could say it all helps keep things in perspective.

So when I find myself in a situation that doesn’t make sense or that seems like the world is crashing down around me, I can pull from what I know to be true about God and His love and rest in the fact that His ultimate purpose and plan for me will not “leave me out to dry” eternally. He will come through (Rom. 8:28). He is always there (Matt. 28:20). He loves us beyond measure (John 3:16). What more could you ask for?

God rocks.

So, in a fit of boredom and driven by my desire to be in keeping with blogging standards, I hereby present my list of 25 Things About Me.   Ahem.

1. Coffee is my favorite comfort food. I couldn’t imagine a world without it…nor would I want to.
2. I adore roller coasters – I laugh hysterically when riding them and I love to be in the front car.
3. I am completely addicted to travel – I have been to 15 countries on 4 continents.
4. They say you can’t buy love, but my dog has taught me otherwise.
5. My biggest pre-teen crush was a tie between Bill Bixby (from “The Incredible Hulk”) and Shaun Cassidy (from “The Hardy Boys”).
6. I once worked in a chocolate factory.
7. I love Jesus and believe in the power of prayer and the importance of community.
8. My favorite beer is Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA.
9. I rang in the New Millenium in NYC.
10. I have lived in Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Alaska, New York City, and England.
11. My favorite TV shows through my life so far have been “Sesame Street”, “The A-Team”, “The Wonder Years”, “Seinfeld”, “Friends, “Frasier”, “Ally McBeal”, “90210″, “Gilmore Girls”, and “LOST”.
12. I have painted every wall in every room of my current home including closets & ceilings.
13. I volunteered with the Red Cross at Ground Zero (The World Trade Center) after the terrorist attack of 9/11 which was one of the most sobering and rewarding experiences of my life.
14. I was 20 years old the first time I visited the Pacific Northwest and have been in love with it ever since.
15. I will not eat raw tomatoes.
16. I have never seen any of “The Godfather” movies.
17. I wrote my first book (called “The Oddness of Andrew”) in 3rd grade. There was a boy in my class named Andrew who was not amused.
18. The first time I saw real mountains in person, I cried.
19. I have had roommates for the majority of my adult life – 14 in all.
20. I love Oreos.
21. I once wanted to be a marine biologist.
22. I collect Starbucks mugs…I have one from every city I’ve visited (assuming I could find a Starbucks).
23. Snow is my favorite form of precipitation – I am thrilled when there’s a blizzard.
24. The biggest earthquake I’ve ever been in was a 6.4
25. I have not had a landline phone since October 2001.

As far as WHY I’ve been so busy – too busy to write even a snippet – suffice it to say that work has been absolutely crazy lately – so crazy we’ve all but entered butterfly-net territory.  No joke.  So with working like a fiend, it’s about all I can do to just get myself home and get dinner made…not to mention there are a couple of side-jobs I have going right now which have eaten up much of what spare time I have been able to find.  Sigh.

Mind you, I’m not complaining.  Honest.  I’d rather be insanely busy than bored.  By far.  But all of this recent craziness has caused me to take off this Friday and next Monday in order to give myself a much-needed break.

So quickly because I don’t have much time, all is going well.  Work is good, there has been not hide nor hair of “Ralph”, Chena is awesome, budget is great, church is better, I’m losing weight on WW still (yay), and really have nothing further to report at this time.

Sorry for the quick (and insanely dull) entry, but essentially just wanted to make sure everyone knew I was still alive!

It’s called The Well (http://www.thewellpa.com) and it is very artsy and young and similar in “feel” to The Haven. They meet in a warehouse that they bought and refinished.

How did this happen? Well, in a fit of Providence, I heard about it through someone who was a part of that Meetup.com group I had started. I had decided to cancel the Meetup as it hadn’t yielded much and I didn’t feel like paying for another year to keep the group going. So instead anyone who was interested was added to a new Google Group I created so we could still send out messages for events and things without the cost of the Meetup. After I sent out a message to the Google Group as an intro, I got a message back from someone who turned out to be one of the pastors at The Well saying that he thought I sounded like I might like it and should come check it out.

That was about 3 weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just started the Dave Ramsey class at another church from 8:30-10:30 on Sunday mornings (The Well’s service starts at 10:30) so I didn’t go to visit until just yesterday because I didn’t think I’d have time to do both.

So over the last few weeks I instead floated around on their website, listened to a couple of the sermons, and had pretty much decided that I loved it – all that was left was to visit. If I liked it in person as much as I thought I would, I knew that my search would be over. I couldn’t stand the thought of having to wait another 10 weeks to go in person (which is how much longer the Financial Peace University class will last) so I instead ducked out of my class a few minutes early yesterday and drove over to The Well – turns out it’s only a couple of miles down the road.

I loved it. Clearly. One of the things I really saw on the website and in the sermons I heard online (and yesterday) was the emphasis on community – building it, living it, serving it. As a single chick in the suburbs, community becomes not just important, but essential – a lifeline, if you will. Not to mention that their being so community-minded echos also what Redeemer and The Haven, for that matter, were all about.

So I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to find out more about it and start getting involved. Praise God for such a direct answer to prayer! Wahoo!

So all is well.  Work is busy.  Diet is fine.  Budget is great.

I guess the most exciting thing to happen since my birthday is the release of Janelle’s wedding photos.  Yay!  For anyone who’s interested, here’s a link to a slideshow of selected shots (there were a TON of pictures, so this way you can just look at some of the best):

http://jkhphoto.com/darkroom/share/?n=1223-janelle-sean

Enjoy!

So in September, I’ll be going to Ireland for a few days. This will be my second trip to the Emerald Isle. The first one was for just a weekend a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, this trip won’t be a whole lot longer, but I will at least get 4 full days there which is more than last time. Mostly I’ll be staying with some friends of mine that are missionaries there. They’re not missionaries so much in the standard sense, rather they are there to be “missionaries to the missionaries”. In essense, this entails giving the missionaries a place of respite and retreat. A chance to reflect and focus on their relationship with God. They even offered to provide me with a program similar to what they provide to the missionaries that come and stay with them. So of my 4 days there, I will most likely be spending 2 or 3 of them “retreating” myself and having an opportunity for some much-needed spiritual renewal. I’m really looking forward to it! Additionally, I hope to spend some time doing some genealogy research on my Irish ancestors that I’ve run into a bit of a brick wall with. More on that later.

As to the Montana trip, I have requested to reschedule for next June/July only this time I’m opting for the 6-Day Backpacking trip instead of the 4-Day. I really feel that this will be a better trip and ultimately I’ll feel less rushed and able to better appreciate Glacier NP. If you’re interested, you can read all about it on the Glacier Guides & Montana Raft Company site.

And so I feel my venture into rescheduling has been a success… In fact, as much as I wish I could have been in MT last week, I know I’ll appreciate the Ireland trip and an even longer backpacking trip next year instead.

Name: Chena
Born: 30 May 2006
Adopted: 22 July 2006
Current Weight: 2.25 lbs
Current Height: 7 inches

I would like to introduce you all to the new member of my household. Chena (pronounced “Chee-na”) is here! She’s a Miniature Australian Shepherd (Mini Aussie) and I brought her home last Saturday. Over the past week we have had some great bonding time and she is fast becoming one of my best friends.

In many ways I feel like I’ve adopted a kid – my living room floor is littered with toys, I have to get up every 2-3 hours during the night to take her outside…but it’s more than worth it and I know she’s going to be a great dog when she grows up. Oh, and in case you were wondering, her name is Alaskan – I’ve been storing it since living up there to use one day.

Just wanted to give you all an update and join me in welcoming Chena to my life and home!

Instead, this letter is my way of bringing you all up to date on the happenings of 2005. Now, depending on how long you’ve been part of my address book, you may think I have done this before which is true, in part. However the difference this time is that I’m not living someplace which may be deemed worthy of a letter (e.g. Alaska, the UK, etc.) – no, what has instead prompted this Year in Review is the fact that I have had some life-changing events take place in the last few months, and since things have been so crazy, I know I have not had time to keep everyone updated (nor can I always remember who I’ve told what to).

So, rather than making this some sort of lame apology for not keeping in better touch, think of this as more my way of just making sure everyone’s on the same page. I’ll warn you straight off that this may be a little on the lengthy side so you may want to just print it out and read at your leisure if you don’t have the time right now. Furthermore, I will do my best to make it interesting but in case my attempts fail and instead find this piece of prose has coma-inducing qualities that could tire even the most chronic insomniac, I would recommend not operating any heavy machinery while reading.

And with that disclaimer, I bring you…

2005
A Year in Review

January/February.

The year really started out with the BANG that was the end of 2004. A tsunami – the like of which we have never before seen – hit parts of South Asia, including areas of Thailand where I was booked to go to on a sailing trip starting at the end of January. So the first couple of weeks of the year were a bit touch-and-go… What was going on? Were we still going to have the trip? Was it really as bad as CNN was making us believe? If we went, would we contract some sort of dreadful disease and have to be quarantined, never to return home? In the end, the trip was on for those who wanted to “brave” it. I left New York on January 21st on a flight from Newark to Tokyo to Bangkok. The next morning I flew out with a few others for Phuket and sailed around the islands of Thailand and Burma for 10 days. I didn’t return home until February 5th. I can tell you without a doubt that it was one of the most incredible trips of my life and something I don’t think could really ever be duplicated. I could spend pages upon pages trying to describe this singularly amazing time, but I feel I could in no way do it justice. Instead, I am including here a description I wrote of a coffee drink which I aptly named “Thai Island Blend”.

This really stems from something my friend Esther & I have been doing for years, usually as a way to describe something that one of us had seen/experienced. It’s about the closest thing to a short summary of my trip as I can possibly give you without going way overboard (no pun intended):

Thai Island Blend

Serene yet awe-inspiring, just like the land, our Thai Island Blend is a delicate collection of the most mild and sweet roasts we could uncover to bring you the essence of a tropical island getaway.
One sip and you’ll find yourself transported to the deck of a catamaran sailing through clear waters that appear to you to be made of liquid glass. You look around at the islands which shoot up from the sea – tall and round like giant pebbles that almost seem to hover over the water. A kayak awaits and you paddle across coral reefs teeming with life to a deserted cove. Walls of rock covered with vegetation envelop you and you spot entrances to sea caves that beckon to be explored, but you decide to save that for tomorrow.

Back onboard ship, you watch the sunset paint the sky in colors you never knew existed as the moon rises over the peaks behind you. It’s dark enough now that you can see the sparkle of phosphorescent plankton dancing in the water below. You sigh and are comforted by the warm breeze on your face as you settle back and enjoy your mug of Thai Island Blend.

March

Birthday aside, the month of March was really quite busy as well – I went on a ski trip to Killington with some of my friends from Redeemer, spent a weekend in Boston visiting with Esther & Abby, and then my actual birthday was spent in Ireland with the Grahams sandwiched between some time in London visiting old haunts and seeing friends.

April

Filled with 2 church-related retreats and visits from out-of-town friends made this month fly as well.

May

Was spent looking forward to Memorial Day weekend which I spent with my sister, Kristin, in San Francisco. This included a day trip with my friend Nancy (who I met on the Thailand trip) out to the Sonoma Valley. Fun for one and all!

June

Slow month. Spent a long weekend in Boston with Es & Abby again, but otherwise I just spent time trying to relax and gear-up for July…

July

This is where things started to get interesting. I started the month off with spending 4th of July weekend in Miami with my friend, Camerin. It was absolutely swelteringly hot, but we managed to have a good time nonetheless! On the 8th, I took off for San Francisco again, but this time for work. I got to spend a week and a half there including two weekends – one spent with my aunt & uncle who I hadn’t seen in several years, and the other spent again with Nancy who took me down to Monterey where we sea kayaked and laughed as much as possible.

Upon returning home, I had a conference call with someone from a different department (eBusiness) at my work (Merrill Lynch). He had initially contacted me because someone had passed along my resume due to an opening they had which it seemed I might fit the bill for as a project manager in their eBusiness team. We set up for me to come down to Princeton for an interview in August.

August

I had the interview, but decided I didn’t want to pursue the role further as it was Princeton-based. I was happy in my current role and had no desire to leave New York. That was part of it. The rest was that the alternative to leaving my favorite city was to do a reverse-commute to Princeton which is so time-consuming and so costly it potentially would have cancelled out any increase in pay I thought I’d see. Apparently I had underestimated their interest in me – they wanted me to come back for another round of interviews, and although I had said I didn’t think I would take the job for the reasons I listed above, they requested that I finish out the interviews and wait for their offer before making my final decision. I also couldn’t understand why God wasn’t allowing me to just walk away from what I saw as a good opportunity that really just wasn’t for me, but I have to admit I was curious.

So I had the rest of the interviews and spent the last weekend of the month hangin’ with the fam in Atlanta.

September

Labor Day pretty much kicked off September with a Thailand trip reunion which was held out at a cabin belonging to Jean, one of the trip participants, on a beautiful piece of land in Wisconsin. Most of us flew into Chicago and then drove out at varying times to the ranch and spent the weekend relaxing and catching up. Only a couple of the original people from the trip were unable to make it.

Shortly after getting back, I was called in for jury duty and had to sit on a malpractice case for a week and a half (and before you ask, no, it wasn’t exactly like living an episode of Law & Order, but still, serving jury duty in New York City was still an interesting experience!). During this time I was patiently waiting for an offer to come in from the eBusiness group when I was shocked by the news that a complete reorganization of my department was being done effective immediately which meant my whole role and team was going to be changing over. So, depending on the offer from eBiz, if I was going to make a change, it seemed I couldn’t have asked for a better situation in which to do it, and it would seem that perhaps God’s purpose in keeping this door open (despite my own attempts to close it) were becoming more apparent.

Their offer came in at 4:30 in the afternoon on Friday, September 23rd. All I can say about that is that if there was any doubt in my mind as to what I should do, it was completely drowned out by their offer. I have never been so flattered and floored and just flat out surprised in my life. I left after work for a church leadership retreat which was great because I felt I needed a couple of days for it all to sink in. Suffice it to say that when all was said and done, after years of feeling like I wasn’t really being paid what I was worth but sticking it out anyway because of the potential that I could see, I would have now (including the standard merit increase I received at the beginning of ’05) in less than 12 months been giving an overall increase of more than 40%. That in mind, I imagine it will come as no surprise that I called them first thing Monday and said, “OK”.

Now another timing issue I should mention is that, aside from the restructuring that was going on in my current role, I was also coming up to the end of my second year on the lease for my apartment in New York. Having spent the bulk of that time plagued by New York City gang mice, I did not relish the idea of having to go another round with them. Besides, if I was going to do the reverse commute thing to Princeton, it would make more sense for me to live on the West Side as that would put me in closer proximity to Penn Station than the Upper East Side did. The more I thought about that, the more I was drawn to the idea that, if I was going to move anyway, perhaps I should look into moving out of the city altogether. I didn’t really want to leave New York, but I could see where it also might not be the worst thing in the world… After all, if I moved back out to PA, I might actually be able to BUY a house and not have to keep paying for someone else’s investment, but have a little of my own. On top of which, let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger (a concept which has been hitting me increasingly harder with each passing year).

October

Took on a life of its own. This is what ended up being my last month in New York and was spent packing and packing and packing and did I mention packing? The only other thing I did as much as pack was go to U2 concerts. I’m not kidding – I went to 4 of them. All at Madison Square Garden which is by FAR one of, if not THE best venues in the world. My sister, Jo, came up from Atlanta to do both with me – pack AND attend one of the concerts.

I was also doing other things to prepare for my move. First, I bought a new car. Next, I got pre-approved for a mortgage and began house-hunting. I started the new job on the 17th and found my new home by the 24th with the settlement date set for December 2nd.

November

What should have been a relatively uneventful month ended up being anything but. I didn’t really have much going on…all of my things were moved out of the city already since my lease was up at the end of October. I was temporarily staying with my aunt & uncle as my closing date wasn’t until early December so that meant that all I had to do for November was chill out, get used to my new job, and look forward to Thanksgiving.

Well, the weekend before Thanksgiving I was slotted to go up to Killington, Vermont with some friends of mine from New York who are taking part in a ski haus with me for the season. The 18th was our first weekend of the season. Within 20 minutes of arriving, I succeeded in being frightened to death by a dog who I mistook for Cujo in the dark which in turn made me bolt for the car, trip on some rocks, and break my foot! So the rest of the weekend was spent taking me to the ER at the closest medical center and then driving back to PA which my friends had to handle since I was unable to drive my stick-shift car with only one good foot. I had to cancel my trip to Atlanta to see the fam for Thanksgiving as had been the plan, and I was pretty much out of work for the next few weeks seeing as I was to “stay off” the foot and, as previously established, I could not drive. (As a side note, I have since come into contact with people who know the dog personally and naturally the dog is completely harmless, but alas I couldn’t tell this in the dark – if only he’d spoken better English…)

December

The crutches and cast also made it difficult to do things like go to a house settlement and move. As a result, my mom flew up to help me out. She chauffeured me around to the stores and did some other necessary errands for me…including taking me to the closing on my house.

Yep, that’s right – I am now a homeowner! I’m pretty excited, but still relatively freaked out by the idea that I actually own this place… That I’m responsible for it in a way that I’ve never really been responsible for anything, except maybe my cars over the years, but that’s not really quite the same thing.

Just so you know a little about it, it’s a 2-story, 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath townhouse complete with both a front yard and a fenced-in back yard. It’s a great place, and really perfect for me. It needs a decent amount of work, however, so if you’re wondering why I haven’t invited you over yet, don’t take it personally. It needs a little TLC (not to mention a new color scheme). But now that I’m back walking around, I’m making some progress.

What is amazing to me is how much space I have now… Coming from a barely-400 sq. ft. NYC apartment (with probably about 350 sq. ft. of actual living space) to a place that tops 1100 sq. ft., I don’t know what to do with myself or how to fill it all. I think it may be awhile before I really feel like I’m truly “set up” properly here. I’m also missing New York more than I can say and consoling myself only with the thoughts that the city is only an hour and a half away (an hour from work), and it will always be there (Lord willing) if I want to move back in the future. That said, I also want to make sure that my friends in NYC know that they have an open invitation to come on down any time!

Christmas was spent doing a whirlwind tour of Atlanta from which I returned on the 26th. New Year’s plans included trying to get additional painting done (thrilling, I know) and spending some time with my friend Jennifer who came for a visit before taking off to Indonesia where she’s going as a career missionary. (Unfortunately I ended up sick and spent most of the weekend in bed!)

And so we arrive at the end of 2005. I have some fun plans lined up for 2006 as well, but if I was going to tell you about them, I’d have to write a separate section and entitle it “2006 – A Look Ahead” but you can relax – I’m not going to subject you to that…I think I’ve given you all plenty to absorb for now.

Happy New Year and may God bless you all in 2006!

The abridged version of how this happened is that I went to Vermont to go skiing and instead ended up running from a dog that I mistook to be Cujo, tripped in the dark, fell, and…well…you can probably figure it out from there.

So, quickly – the reason for my note is to just ask for your prayers over these next few weeks as I have a lot going on even without the use of both feet! I’m supposed to go to Atlanta for Thanksgiving this week, I’m closing on my house next Friday (12/2), I need to actually get all of my stuff moved into the new place, I can’t currently drive my car which is a stick shift, and then I still need to work at some point (I’m home today and was home for half of yesterday). Please pray that I’ll be able to get everything done that I need to get done and that my foot might heal even more quickly than the 4-6 weeks I’ve been quoted… I’m also dealing with just a bunch of smaller logistical things as a result of all this as well.

Why God has allowed all had to happen at the same time I will probably never know, but it certainly manages to keep me on my toes (if only in a figurative sense…)

2005 has been an amazing adventure thus far…

Kicked off in January with a sailing trip to Thailand & Burma for which there are no words. In fact, I just finished watching a fabulous video put together by one of the guys on the trip (Steve) which has just brought it all back with such clarity that it’s all I can do not to book another ticket back there – especially since there’s now a non-stop flight to Bangkok from NY being offered for the dirt-cheap price of $800. Sigh. (I must add, Steven, you’ve certainly lived up to your nickname!) I think I sent most of you the pictures (or cornered you into looking at the ones I had printed), but if not, let me know and I’ll be happy to forward the link.

For my birthday (which more or less coincided with Easter this year), I took a trip out to London & Dublin. Got to spent some really relaxing days there visiting with some friends and kicking around which was great.

In between all this, days have been filled with work, friends, Broadway shows, other various activities… And now that Spring has finally arrived, we all have been taking advantage of the sunshine and gorgeous weather – open windows, lunch by the Hudson, longer daylight hours, Yankees games, weekends away, and basically any excuse to be outside. My friend Jennifer and I have recently started jogging in Central Park a few days a week which I’ve never really done before, but am pleased to say that I’m up to about 3.5 miles at a shot. Before long we’ll be tackling the 6 mile loop around the outer edge of the Reservoir. One of my colleagues just ran the Boston Marathon today in 3-1/2 hours. Hm, yeah. Don’t think I’ll be doing that any time soon.

Finally, my sister, Kristin, and I will be meeting up for Memorial Day weekend in San Francisco which we’re both looking forward to. I’m already working on my packing strategy so as to ensure plenty of spare suitcase room for all the wine I’m going to return with.

One other piece of (relatively) big news is that the day after I got back from London, Kim (my roommate) came down to my office and told me that she was going to be moving out April 30th. So I’ve spent the last few weeks searching for a new roommate and found a taker just yesterday. Her name is Alice and seems very nice…she’s petrified of my bird (having seen one too many Alfred Hitchcock movies, I fear), but I’m sure she’ll get over it since, as many of you know, Brighton is about as calm and low-key as you can get. Of course, I’m sorry to see Kim go as she’s been a fabulous roommate for the last year and half, but it’s a great opportunity she’s been given so I can’t blame her…

So that’s pretty much my life at the moment – or at least, all that’s fit to print! For now, I’m off to unwind and have some dinner…

This certainly isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this, but this year is a real milestone year in many ways which have really been bringing my marital status to the forefront of my thinking.

The Chinese calendar says that 2004 is the “Year of the Monkey” but I think if I could choose, I would call it the “Year of the Tasmanian Devil”. This is shaping up to be a crazy and confusing year – I turn 30, my sister is getting married, and my best friend is having a baby. None of these things in and of themselves are enough to make me do serious evaluation of my current state, but lumped together, the three have had a profound affect on me.

To begin with, my 30th birthday came and went in March. Sigh. I had planned to be away for the big day itself – I was scheduled to go on a hiking trip in the Andes Mountains of Peru. Unfortunately, I had to undergo some unexpected surgery which prevented me from traveling so instead the day was spent at home with my roommate doing a 24 – Season 2 marathon which was its own brand of fun. Now my sister’s wedding and the birth of my best friend’s first baby are events that are both taking place this July. I’m happy for both of them – truly, but it has been a lot to handle all at once. Allow me to explain.

You must first understand that my sister is 23 years old – quite a bit younger than I – and while I don’t think I ever would have verbalized this before (because I don’t think I consciously thought it), I realized through my tears after hearing of her engagement, that I had just never in a million years thought that she would beat me to the alter. If she were only a year or two younger I probably wouldn’t have been so shocked, but here I sit on the cusp of what feels like my last season before spinsterhood while she’s now picking out china patterns, bridesmaid dresses, and flower arrangements.

Add onto that my best friend and the baby that’s on its way. Why should this be a difficult thing, you ask? Naturally I have many friends who already have kids – in fact, 3 of my closest friends have had babies already this year. But this one is different…this is the baby of my best friend in the whole world. We met when we were about five and have been closer than close throughout the majority of our days since. Married eight years ago, I knew they were going to wait to have kids – her husband was going to grad school and there were some additional things that they wanted to accomplish before beginning a family. Eight years ago as I stood in the bridal party for their wedding, I thought that surely this would work out perfectly – that by the time they got around to starting to have kids I would be married and probably ready to start a family as well. Our children would most likely be close in age and then wouldn’t that be just perfect?! But now, eight years later, and I’m no closer to getting married than I was at 22 and she’s starting without me. Happy as I am for them, and honestly cannot wait to meet that bundle of joy, I can’t help but feel a little left behind.

What these three things together have done is make me see how even though I never sat down and wrote out what I thought my “life plan” was, I had one nonetheless, even if it was subconscious. And since my life has not turned out the way I subconsciously planned, I have to deal with that fact and turn my unspoken plans over to God. His planning is surely far better than anything my finite human mind could come up with. After all, if someone had come up to me at my high school graduation and told me that by the time I was 30, I would have lived in Alaska, New York City, and England, I would have thought they were crazy. But God had plans for me that I hadn’t even imagined and I’d much rather be on His timetable.

So for now I’m heavily involved in my sister’s wedding (bridesmaid and all that) so I’m having to show her my joy, and save my tears for my nights when I cry to God. I’m seeing Him more and more as my great comforter (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). I also managed to pick up a wonderful book called “God’s Promises for Singles” which really could be for anyone. It lists specific promises God gives in His Word based on the needs you might have for the moment, so if you’re in need of comfort, see page 11. Feeling dissatisfied? Page 40. Want a reminder of how Jesus is our companion? Page 82. And the list goes on. It’s a great little book that I’ve yet to really use to its fullest capacity, but I plan to keep it out in easy reach – especially this year.

So what has made 2003 so different, you ask? Well, a combination of things and a multitude of changes, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself so let’s just take it one month at a time, shall we? If memory serves, I believe this is also how I did it in 1998…

January…

…was a typical first month of a new year. You get the date wrong on most of the checks you write for that first week or so. Snow inevitably falls at some point (actually at many points since we were blessed with a White Christmas in 2002 here on the east coast). Finally you make your way into the dark days of…

February

We had our blizzard in February. I believe it was around the 17th that the white monsoon hit. I couldn’t have been more in heaven! I know that not everyone shares my affection for snow but for me, this was a piece of my Alaska and I did enjoy those days, especially while it was falling! February was also the month that I decided to begin the process to enter the mission field. I had been thinking about it in abstract ways since early December 2002, but didn’t really decide to go into a particular direction until February. I was looking into different mission organizations and had settled on MTW (Mission to the World). I’m not sure exactly when I began the application process, but I believe it was sometime around the end of the month. I also had the opportunity to take a trip with work to Jamaica which was incredible. We got to stay at the Ritz Carlton there in Montego Bay and it was fun and fabulous all the way through – the only downside being that I had the flu when we left for the trip and didn’t feel much better until the day before we went back home. Bleh.

March…

…brought warmer weather (eventually), lots of rain, and my birthday. Now I sit poised on the outskirts of my 30’s singing strange ballads about where on earth my 20’s have gone.

April…

…was full of rain, if I remember correctly. I also took a short trip to Colorado. I stayed in Denver mostly, but did rent a car and go out on road trip to Aspen where I accidentally wandered into a luncheon for some sort of Aspen society group. They found it amusing that I had joined their group and invited me to stay. I sat at a table with a former mayor and some city council representatives among others. It was truly a serendipitous afternoon.

May…

…is when I completed my MTW application, had my interview, and was accepted into their short-term mission program. I had begun working on my support letter when I also received some startling news at work. My manager found out that he was receiving what boiled down to a promotion and was going to be inheriting a huge amount of additional territory of responsibility. He already had Northern New Jersey, but now New York City and Long Island were being added to his region – our region. I saw this initially as the perfect opportunity to tell everyone that I was planning to take a year off and go to the mission field – after all, they were going to be moving our headquarters from Bridgewater, NJ to Manhattan and there was already someone there who was doing my job. So I told them my plan, but made it clear that I wanted to stay working here through the end of the summer.

June…

…began my commute from New Hope, PA to Midtown Manhattan for work everyday. For those of you not familiar with the area, New Hope is about 100 miles (give or take) from New York which meant I was up at 5am each morning to catch a bus at 6 which would get me into the city between 8:15-8:45 and to my office by 9. Then it was back out the door at 4:30 to catch the bus at 5:15 and be home by 7:30/8:00. This commute was grueling, to say the least. I got a LOT of reading done, but other than that my days just felt like they were being stolen from me.

July…

…changed everything. I had been watching my support cards come back in and the numbers were less than encouraging. I prayed about it, sought much advice, and explored other avenues in order to generate the support I needed to be able to leave in September. Nothing was working. Finally, I was faced with having to make a decision – my manager had come to me and asked what he should expect – was I staying or going? I knew he needed a firm answer. Staying meant that I would be moving back to New York. Going would mean I would certainly be losing my job regardless if the rest of my support came in or not. With only about 5% having been pledged, I came to the decision that I wasn’t prepared to take that big of a risk with nothing to fall back on. Rather than try to explain all the details of this, I’m also enclosing the letter that was sent out to my supporters which is far better than what I could sum up here. So July finished up with me working to move to New York – with my lease for up at the end of September, I had some work to do. I had decided to buy an apartment in Manhattan (with interest rates as low as they were, who wouldn’t?) so I acquired a real estate broker and got to work apartment hunting. Found one in the neighborhood known as Clinton (aka Hell’s Kitchen), put in a bid, had it accepted, and began getting together all of the documentation needed for the co-op board approval which is another letter altogether that I won’t bore you with now!

August…

…came without my really knowing where July had gone. I was still commuting into the city and was rapidly becoming tired from it. My co-op board interview time came and I met with two of the most smug, arrogant men whose only qualification for judging me was that they happened to live in the building where my apartment was going to be. They interrogated me, didn’t laugh at my jokes, and generally just made me uncomfortable. I left the interview feeling that things had just gone very badly and I didn’t know what the outcome would be. It was a couple of weeks later that I received word that they had rejected my application which meant that I was not approved to purchase the apartment. The seller wanted to take a second crack at it though, and asked if I would be willing to wait while he appealed the board’s decision. I agreed.

September…

…was full of cooler days, sweaters, and school buses. I heard back from the co-op board for the second time. They agreed to approve me for the building, but there was a catch (isn’t there always?) I had to agree to move in without my bird. My sweet bird is such a source of joy in my life and I love her to death, but I wasn’t about to give up an apartment for her, so I agreed to the board’s condition. There was always this thought in the back of my mind that I could just fight the battle of the bird once I was in the apartment. The end of September came along with the end of my lease. I had a harrowing few days of packing followed by one horrendous day of loading and moving all of my earthly belongings into storage until the rest of the apartment plans could be sorted out (closing, painting, moving, etc.) September 30 I took the bus one last time up to stay with my friend Nicole who was in the process of moving into NYC herself.

October…

…was madness personified. I was staying with Nicole for what I thought would be a couple of weeks when I heard from the co-op board at my building for the third time. They had decided to reject me again for no specified reason even though I had agreed to move in without my bird. I burst into tears (what else was there to do?) and decided that was the end of this battle for me. If these people would do this to my seller, what would they do to me when I eventually wanted to sell? It had already cost me a few thousand dollars that I wasn’t going to get back and I was too emotionally exhausted from the last few months to even think about going back to them again. I didn’t know what God was doing, but I knew I was seeking His will above all other things and if I just rested in that, He would bring me to the place he wanted me to be and that it would be better than anything I might have thought up. So I began looking at apartments to rent. By the end of October, I think I had looked at close to 30 apartments. Finally I saw one on the Upper East Side. It was a 1-bedroom for an unthinkable price for Manhattan and I fell in love with it and put an application in. Later that afternoon, I had a coffee date with a girl named Kim who had responded to an ad I had placed in my church’s classifieds a few weeks back (right after the board rejected me the first time). I had decided that if our meeting went well, I would propose a roommate situation to her that I thought would work well, especially with the layout of this particular 1-bedroom since the bedroom and living area are separated by the kitchen, bathroom, and door so as to allow for separate areas which could work well as a converted 2-bedroom. We met and I liked her immediately. She came to see the apartment and agreed that this could work very well for us both. My application was approved and I signed the lease at the end of the month.

November

I semi-moved into the apartment on 88th, that is to say I moved in with a suitcase, a bag, and a bird. Mid-November I went back to Pennsylvania, rented a truck, loaded it up with only my 14-year-old cousin’s help, and then drove it up to New York. Thankfully the Lord supplied me with 6 additional people in the city to help me unload and carry all of my things up the 3 flights of stairs (no elevator) and into the apartment. I had the following week off which I used to work endless hours in order to get the boxes unpacked, the IKEA furniture put together, and the apartment set up as much as possible before Thanksgiving weekend when Kim was moving in. By the end of the month, we were both at least sleeping there if not completely settled.

December

At last! This month has not been unlike it’s predecessors in its lunacy. I’ve had work and events and visitors galore. The final set was just before Christmas when my sisters came up to New York for a night. I left with them the next day and we drove straight through the night down to Atlanta arriving on the 23rd and don’t you think I was pleased to wake up on Christmas Eve with a cold? I’ve spent the last several days basically laying around drinking plenty of fluids coupled with plenty of Christmas cookies – it is the holidays after all!

So that was my version of 2003, such as it was. Obviously this letter won’t make it out until January or so, but I figure it’s not so thrilling that people can’t wait. Certainly I will not be making it into any national publications with this, but I wanted to at least give a heads-up to those who may have an interest as to what has been going on.

I hope everyone is well and will enjoy a fabulous and blessed 2004.

Blessings and Hope…

For those of you whom I have not spoken to personally, I am writing to provide you all with an update as to my immediate plans regarding my Australia trip.

The verse above has been a great comfort to me over the past couple of months, especially as I have made the decision to move in a different direction and not go to Australia. Isaiah 55 has helped to remind me that I am not here to try and do things my way, but to follow the Lord and go where He wants me to be. I want to be where I can have the biggest impact for Him.

Many of you probably do not know about the changes that began occurring at my job after I had decided to pursue going to Australia. I won’t go into all the details, but in summary, my position has been moved and is now based out of New York City. I had already decided to follow the mission path to Australia when this change was announced and at first, I saw it as a great time for me to transition from my current job into the mission field. As my support-raising continued, the financial end of it was really not coming together as I had hoped and prayed so that when I was asked to give an answer as to whether or not I was going to be able to stay with my job, I had to say that I would stay.

Those of you who so generously gave/pledged support, my deepest thanks!!
MTW will be contacting you each with instructions on how to get your donations returned to you.

A lot of people have asked me if I’m disappointed, and I would answer that in part, yes…but God has been at work and so there is a much larger part that is excited about what is now to come!

I will be moving back to New York (I’m currently looking to buy an apartment in Manhattan) and am anxious to get back and involved with activities in the city. I would be honored if you all would continue to keep me in your prayers as I sort out everything that comes with a big move like this. I have an offer in on an apartment I really want, but New York City real estate can be very cut-throat so please pray that if this is the place the Lord has for me, that He would work out all the details. I officially began working in Manhattan last week so my commute means spending approximately 5-6 hours/day on a bus which, quite frankly, is exhausting adding emphasis to my need for an apartment. Acquiring an apartment in NYC is not an easy task. Aside from mortgage approval, you also need to obtain board approval from the co-op or condo you are purchasing which can be quite tedious. And, as I mentioned before, the real estate market there is extremely competitive…even a verbal agreement means nothing if a better deal comes along.

Please keep all of these things in your prayers…and I will certainly write again to tell you how the Lord provides!

Joyfully,

It has been a L-O-N-G time since I’ve done a proper update letter, but mainly that has been due to how little there has been to update you on! Even now, there’s not much to tell which makes me ask myself why I’m even writing this, but with it being a new year and all that, I figure it’s a good time.

First, let’s talk about the “stills” in my life:

• I’m still with the same company and doing the same job in New Jersey I took after getting back from England.
• I’m still single – unfortunately my dating life has felt more like being a part of someone’s science experiment…most of the time it seems to be a choice of date the bizarre or don’t date! More recently I’ve been leaning towards the latter – can you blame me?
• I still have my bird.
• I’m still living in glamorous New Hope, PA.
• I still don’t like tomatoes.
• I still love chocolate.

Now let’s hit on some events that occurred in 2002 which you may or may not be aware of:

• My parents and both of my sisters moved to Atlanta, GA.
• I took my first trip back to Alaska last March since leaving in ’99…I also hit Seattle for a couple of days and Vancouver, BC for a few as well.
• I met Stephen King at the Four Seasons Hotel in Boston while I was there for a manager’s meeting.
• I had a car accident in August (not my fault, thankfully!) which totaled my car. Naturally the accident was a horrible thing, but I didn’t really like my car to begin with so I wasn’t too sad to see it go. I have a new RAV4 now and love it!
• My sister (Jo) came back to visit in October and we took a road trip up to Newport, RI.
• I made my first trip back to Ground Zero since volunteering with the Red Cross just after the attacks.
• I have mice in my apartment which I have been desperately trying to get rid of. So far I’ve caught 7 and I’m relatively certain that there’s more.
• In early December I escaped to Salem, MA for a long weekend to unwind and recoup from a long and tiring year!

And finally we come to what I’m sure will be by far the most fascinating part of my letter – for those of you who haven’t yet drifted off…my 2002 revelations which are leading me towards decisions to be made in 2003!

Over the past few months, I have come to realize that my current location and job are not really very conducive to the kind of life I ultimately want to have. New Hope is a great little town, but it’s a LITTLE town and – unless you’re into alternate lifestyles or witchcraft – the town doesn’t offer much in the way of a dynamic social life. Church isn’t much better since the one I’ve been going to is 45 minutes away which makes it a little difficult to really get involved. Throw my job and coursework into the mix, and I’m almost never available anyway! One danger of being single without much aside from work in your life is that you tend to let work take over your life. It never seems to be the plan…I mean, I certainly didn’t agree to take this job with the thought that it would consume practically every waking moment, but it very nearly does. Long hours, responsibility, and a large land area to support with lots of traveling (I drove over 43,000 miles this past year) make for some really exhausting days and don’t leave room for much else.

That said, I am looking to make some changes in 2003.

So what’s the next stop on the Deb Express? Well, when I came back to the States, it was never my intension to return permanently to the East Coast. In my view, the decision to take this job in Jersey was a very unexciting but “adult” thing to do. A week before I started, 9/11 happened and changed everything and have I ever been thankful to have this job! For most of this past year, I was pretty content in that I felt that I was where the Lord wanted me to be (even if I didn’t really want to be here). Since Thanksgiving, I’ve been growing less and less content and more unsettled – and I think God is leading.

The direction I’m feeling particularly pulled in is to get out of the financial world (scary!) and into more the kind of work that He has given me a gift and a love for: writing. Now this isn’t to say I’m just going to become a “starving artist” type or start panhandling… I’m actually looking into getting into the publishing world and just see where that leads. Everyone I mention this to – from friends and family all the way down to some guy I ran into on the street – are supportive and agree that this is an avenue they could see me heading down very happily. I’m particularly interested in moving out to Colorado and seeing what opportunities might be available in some of the Christian publishing houses there (Focus on the Family, NAV Press, etc.). I’m hoping to make a trip out to CO in late-winter or early-spring to check out the area. Speaking of which, if any of you know anyone out there who might be willing to tell me more about the area, etc. from a resident’s perspective, I would GREATLY appreciate it – I’m starving for input!!

Now that’s my life at the moment, such as it is! As I finalize plans for the future, I will be sure to keep everyone updated. In the meantime, your prayers are of much value as always!!

Hope to hear from every last one of you, although I know the odds of that are against me.

Love to all…