Sidebar: I just was distracted by watching Chena bury some item of great value (at least to her) in the folds of a towel on the floor. But it’s cool, she’s a dog. It’s what she does. Still, kinda funny.

Anyway, despite my little online explosion the other day, I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m really doing pretty well – this especially for those of you who don’t see me all that often and might not know what to think when I don’t post for weeks and then suddenly come out with a message like I did on Monday.

But I’m good. I’m busy, I’m happy, I love my dog, I’m healthy, I have hardwood floors, I have a new patio door, I’m getting a new patio to go with it next week, and I’m employed. I’ve been thinking it over the past couple of days and decided that, despite any guy thing (or lack thereof) I’m not about to be bullied by happiness.

I should probably explain that last statement.

Dave Ramsey says in one of our FPU lessons (and he may have been quoting someone else, I don’t know) that if you’re not careful, happiness can become a “bully in a schoolyard”. Always drawing a line in the sand, but as soon as you step over that line – as soon as you obtain what you’re after – it moves. But happiness is not really the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Happiness is where you are right now, regardless of incidentals.

I think I started to learn this lesson somewhat when I was in England. I was frustrated with being in the UK – especially being so far out in the middle of nowhere. But I also knew that it was a good time in my life…something I would look back on and appreciate – although there were many times when I couldn’t wait to be “looking back” on it instead of living it! Still, I knew that this was the case, so I made a concerted effort to find things that I loved and appreciated about Leamington, Warwickshire, and the UK in general. Even now, I think back on that time and remember fondly my fabulous flat on Clarendon Square, the amazing Irish butter, Muellers Crumble Corners, riding my bike to work, walking everywhere, taking weekend trips into Europe, being so close to Stratford that I had a membership with the Royal Shakespeare Company at a “locals” rate… I could go on and on. So despite the fact that it was rough year (and I know I complained a lot), I still could appreciate it and still do. So much so that I’d go back for the right opportunity.

That whole concept of completing the phrase, “Happiness is [fill in the blank]” is really kinda difficult to do. Happiness is…uh…what? How can you define happiness if it’s a moving target? And there’s the rub.

Happiness isn’t that thing just out of reach. It’s not the marriage and kids you don’t have. It’s not the job you wished you’d gotten. It’s not the car you drive (or wish you drove). Neither is happiness a particular thing that happens once or many times over. Happiness is now. Happiness just IS.

If we don’t stop tying our happiness to the having or attaining of specific things, we’ll always be bullied by it and we’ll never find true contentment.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that sure, I’m missing some stuff from my life that I’d like to have, but ultimately, those missing items don’t necessarily detract from my ability to still see and enjoy and love and find happiness in where I am right now.

Paul said it like this in Philippians 4:11 – “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”

Rock on Paul. That’s what I’m talking about.

Here’s the Reader’s Digest version as best as I can tell it…

I am (or was?) going out to Seattle to help Janelle & Sean with some logistical issues that cropped up last minute which were potentially going to keep them going on their long-overdue honeymoon.  I am of course MORE than happy to help them out – the only hurdle being…you guess it…work.

Rather than being forced to take a week & a half vacation time off work, it struck me that there really is no reason I couldn’t just work while I’m there.  After all, my friends wouldn’t be around so I would have flexible scheduling during the day with early mornings & evenings free.  Practically tailor-made time for getting stuff done!

Now here’s the rub: Major events taking place in our department this month which include a big project on the table that I’ve been placed in charge of threaten my ability to be as flexible and mobile as I might otherwise be.  (Figures)

This was also something I did not foresee when originally posed with the question last Monday which was in the middle of All Things Christmas and therefore there was no discussion to be had about it in the office until all management returned from their respective vacations.

I did bring it up to management first thing yesterday. I brought it up again at the end of the day. Both times being met with a, “Let me think about it” response. If I hadn’t already been teetering on the edge of insanity, that just about pushed me over.

Time was becoming increasingly important in terms of being able to get a ticket and work out all of the other logistics.  To say I was a little antsy would be the first major understatement of 2009.  I hate feeling like I have no control over decisions like this in my own life.  But the truth is that, unless you work for yourself (which I plan to someday!) your employer really does own your time in many ways.

So then today I re-approached the situation with the intent of expressing the need for a “best guess” decision since a plane ticket was riding on the response. I proposed two options my favorite being where they would approve me working remotely until Tuesday (2/3) when Sean & Jel returned where I could then take off the rest of the week and so get some visiting time in before coming home myself.  The other option was that I would not work, but would then need to leave the same day S&J returned so I could be back in the office by Wednesday, 2/4.

Earlier this afternoon I got my answer:  Neither.  Instead, they would approve me to work remotely for one week, but no more – I would need to be back in the office on Monday, 2/2.

The good news is that this was a major exception they were making for me – they wouldn’t even consider approving such a request for most other people in part because they trust me and my ability to get everything done that I needed to do. Naturally it’s still not the optimum situation – I’d much rather stay and get a couple of days with S&J before having to come home. With this alternative, I won’t even see them at all…MAJOR bummer.

Anyway, we’re still living with one foot in the Land of Limbo because it seems there may be one other alternative which would potentially preclude me from needing to go out there at all. I’m okay either way – at least I know where I stand with work now…and, at the end of the day, this was all about helping my friends and so whatever works best for them is what I’m in favor of.

Of course if I don’t go at all, then I would also say that this should buy me some extra time during my next trip during our 4th Annual Labor Day Seattle Extravaganza.

So despite the last couple of days being such a rollercoaster ride, the hardest part of the waiting is over and we should have everything completely ironed out soon.

Tell the fat lady she’s on in five.

When in doubt, blog.

Thankfully I have the day off tomorrow so that once the caffeine wears off, I’ll be able to sleep in and not skip a beat.  Speaking of tomorrow (which is really technically today) I should give a shout out to Janelle & Sean whose 1-year anniversary is the 23rd!  Seems like yesterday that we were all standing on that yacht on Lake Washington as vows were said and they began their happily ever after.  Wow.  How’d that go by so quickly?  Well, I don’t really want to contemplate the passing of time, so instead I’ll just say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JEL & SEAN!  LOVE YOU GUYS!

So what else is there to say?  What worthless tidbits of news can I dig up to share?  Not much has been going on to speak of… Oh, I fell down the stairs on Thursday.  I slipped on the carpet in my socks while talking to my sister on the phone.  I then proceeded to tumble down about two-thirds of the staircase on my ass which now has a bruise the size of Rhode Island.  That’s one for the record books.  Once I came to a complete stop, I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.  I think I laughed, but since I’m still in pain now several days later, crying might be more apt.  Thankfully I’m not over 60 or I might have broken something.  In any case, it was an act of sheer grace & poise which surely would have qualified me for a gold medal if tumbling down stairs was an Olympic sport.  Maybe someday it will be.

Work is slow now that we’re nearing the end of the year.  We had our annual team Christmas party at AD’s house tonight which was fun as always.  The Yankee exchange gift time proved to be…well, interesting.  This year turned out some weird gifts including an illustrated children’s book on Obama and a “Control Your Woman Remote Control” – and guess who ended up the evening with that little gem.  What I’m going to do with it, I have no idea but I am determined to find a good use for it.

Aside from the odd gift assortment, we had a nice time eating, drinking, and visiting.  I find in general that these parties bring out another side to everyone…  Partly I think because we’re all out of the office and therefore not bound by all of the office etiquette that typically rules our interactions.  With this letting down of the guard, strange tales (some from far off lands) emerge as well.

For example, one of our new team members made a comment about how he had been robbed while in Spain.  The conversation went something like this:

“How did you get robbed in Spain?  Did you fall for the old banana-in-the-tailpipe?”
“No, I was swimming in the ocean at 2 a.m…”
“And someone mugged you IN the ocean?”
“Not quite…  They took my wallet and my pants which I had left on the shore.”
“I’m not really sure I would call that being ‘robbed’ – sounds more like ‘finders, keepers’ to me.”

I’m afraid the above loses something in translation being typed out, but it was really funny in the moment – trust me.

The evening ended with some unbelievable chocolate cake (which I’m quite sure I’m already sporting on my hips) followed by a bunch of the guys demonstrating their skill (or lack thereof) at Guitar Hero III for Wii.  Having just acquired my Wii not even a week ago, I’m not exactly well-versed yet on all of the available games, but after seeing it, I might be persuaded to try out that one…  It had some good tunes and apparently the less you know about actual guitar playing, the better at the game you’ll be so I should totally rock the stage then.

Speaking of my Wii, can I just say that I LOVE IT!  Really.  It’s my new favorite thing.  3 days of playing tennis and I could barely move my arms.  And apparently my Wii Fit has a lot to say about my current weight, balance, and other aspects of my physique and what I should be working towards…  It’s a little cheeky, if you ask me, but I’m not about to argue with a machine.

How long does it take caffeine to wear off?  Anyone know?  I wonder if there’s anything I can do to expedite its departure from my system.  Nothing like being exhausted but unable to sleep…  And then poor Chena is along for the ride because if I’m up, then really so is she.

Right, so maybe I should give bed another shot.  I’m finished trying to find something useful to do in the wee small hours of the morning anyway.  Maybe I should just read this post again after I publish…  It might just bore me to sleep.

So good night…I hope.

This is my world, and on this day where the Dow dropped 678 points, I just felt the need to vent a little, so here it is.

I have been in financial services for just over 11 years.  Not terribly long in the great scheme of things, but certainly it’s long enough.  Long enough to know what’s going on.  Long enough to be saddened by it.  Long enough to know that we’re headed into really dangerous waters…especially if the government keeps sticking its big, fat nose into places it doesn’t belong in the name of trying to “fix” it.  The fact is that government intervention is not the way out of this mess.  The government is not some sort of beacon in the night.  They are not – and cannot – be our savior although it seems they believe they’re up to the challenge.  Did I say “dangerous waters” before?  Perhaps “shark-infested” would be more appropriate.

So we have a market acting like it has bipolar disorder, an underlying real estate fall-out with unreal foreclosure rates and the banking industry has turned cannibalistic in order to avoid total failure.  In the past few weeks we have seen the collapse of companies with century-long track records and household names come crashing down (Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, and Merrill Lynch to name a few).  In my life and my 10 years at Merrill, I would never have expected that to happen…but who would?  Then again, we know this kind of thing can happen (can you say “Enron”?) so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised, but I tend towards optimism.

Then as if all of this wasn’t enough, we have a presidential election in less than a month.  I don’t think they could have planned a worse time to be listening to politicians make empty promises.  While we’re trying to work through a major financial crisis, I come home to find my mailbox stuffed with direct mail campaign pieces (for Obama mostly) which surely couldn’t have been free to produce.  Is all that really necessary?  Even in watching the debate this week, I found myself getting frustrated.  At one point I wanted to scream at them, “Could you two just stop your pissing contest for two seconds and freakin’ LISTEN!”  Sorry – I don’t like politicians much…can you tell?  (As a sidenote on the election and politics, I found a really cool website resource called OpenSecrets.org – check it out).

Anyway, so there’s a lot going on.  It can seem overwhelming.  In fact, I’m sure it IS overwhelming for a lot of people.  A lot of people don’t really understand everything that’s happening in the markets – all they know is that their 401(k) is going down in value like a rock right now.  The sad thing is that ignorance is the mother of fear and fear’s best friend is rashness, and when money (or the loss thereof) is the reason for the fear, I think it shoots people into a whole ‘nother orbit of emotion.  I was watching Fox Business News tonight and they had a panel of financial experts with phone lines open.  One woman called in and said she had gotten so scared she sold all of her mutual funds today.  I cringed.  While I don’t want to be cavalier about people’s fear because it’s certainly real enough, if I’ve learned nothing else on Wall Street, it’s that when it comes to your investments, emotion has no place in your decision-making process.  Emotion will cloud your judgment and make you do things like sell all your investments at the bottom (or near bottom) of an already bad market.  I felt so sorry for that woman because I honestly believe selling everything was the wrong move.  Suffice it to say, I’m leaving my 401(k) alone.

In any case, there are lessons to be learned here for everyone – from John Doe to Congress.  Good ‘ol Johnny boy needs to learn how to better manage his personal finances (hey, maybe that Dave Ramsey guy knows what he’s talking about…go figure!)  And Congress?  Well, Congress needs to stop trying to act like a bunch of socialists…and that goes for our future president too – whoever he may be.

So that’s 2008…and it’s not over yet.  I’m not sure this is quite the way we would have WANTED to have the year remembered, but there it is.  The media is screaming (because that’s what they do) and the sky indeed may seem like it’s falling, but I’m not worried because at the end of the day, I know the One who is holding it up.

For now, I’m praying.  Praying for our government, for the election, and the economy.  Praying for sanity and for opportunities.  Most of all, I’ll be praying that one of the things we’ll all see is how unstable the world really is at its core, and therefore how foolish it is to put trust in it. Instead, we need to put our faith and trust on something solid, steady, and unchanging. We need to build our metaphorical houses on the Rock because there it doesn’t matter what winds may blow (or what markets may fall) – the Rock doesn’t move. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in this storm.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” (Matthew 7:23-25)

He’s what remains of a practical joke myself and a coworker (Ed) played on another coworker (Matt).

Matt had gone on vacation, so Ed and I decided to replace all of Matt’s various family photos with the weirdest ones we could find.  Ed struck gold on the Internet and came in with some real winners.  When Matt came back, naturally he noticed pretty quickly and we all had a good laugh, but one of the photos continues to pop back up periodically.

Kenneth and his caterpillar-like mustache’s most recent appearance (and possibly his new permanent home) is located peeking up over the wall of my cube from Matt’s.  He strategically placed himself above the corner of my whiteboard so that he can give me a quote du jour.  Among the things he’s said so far:

• “Hey baby, how ’bout a date?”
• “I am dumb as a rock.”
• “You have yourself a nice weekend, doll.  Call me!”
• “Did you get the memo?”

Anyway, I just wanted to share this little bit of my daytime cubical existence.  Below I managed to capture a photo to help you visualize the creepiness – apparently Kenneth is bilingual.  Good times.