Here’s the thing – I’m a writer.  No really, I am.   I’m not a writer in the sense that I actually publish stuff (unless you count my blog – my blog would probably count itself, but I would disagree because I control the printing).  So maybe I’m not a writer in the Pulitzer-Prize-winning-New-York-Times-Bestseller-Hollywood-wants-the-movie-rights sense, but I do write and always have.

I wrote my first full-length book at age 11 called “Dana of Warm Springs” which was inspired by and shamelessly modeled after - you guessed it - “Anne of Green Gables”.  I should probably mention that my first full-length story at age 7 called “The Oddness of Andrew” was inspired by and shamelessly centered on a boy in my 1st grade class named - you guessed it - Andrew.

Given these real (and somewhat embarrassing) facts, I feel like it just shouldn’t be that hard to string together enough words to create a new blog post.  And yet, it somehow is.

This is partially driven by the fact that I know I have readers, and I don’t want to disappoint you.   I don’t want to bother writing something that would either offend, annoy, or cause any of you to fall into a coma or wish for death.  I would hate to think that anyone would read my ramblings strictly out of a sense of duty either – I want this to be a fun and (dare I say) engaging experience for all. It would break my heart to think that reading one of my posts would be second only to a root canal in the amount of pain and anguish caused.

My blog is now telling me to shut-up and change the subject or it’s going to walk.  Fine.  Maybe if I just keep typing, something of interest will come to me.   I can’t believe I’m listening to a stupid blog.

Okay, so I’m just going to aimlessly type now.  Here goes…  Wish me luck!

So, the bulk of 2008 is behind us (phew!) and the future is in front of us (isn’t it always?), and I find myself again staring at the calendar in bewilderment wondering where the time has gone.  Seems to me I do this every year.  How very déjà vu.

I love November in general, mainly because it’s Thanksgiving month which is one of my favorite holidays. Christmas would be top of that list, but Thanksgiving is just plain fun with its pre-Winter weather and fabulous food. Yum. I think Americans (or at least this one) tend to see Thanksgiving as the official start of the “Holiday Season” which of course runs through New Years.

Since we’re nearing the end of the year, I’ve been taking a look back and trying to see how I’m doing on my 2008 resolutions overall.

For those who haven’t been following along all year, my resolutions were:

• Lose weight
• Live on a budget

To-date, I managed to get (and mostly stay) on Weight Watchers since January.  From January through July, I lost almost 30 pounds.   To be totally honest, I fell off the proverbial wagon and into a vat of junk food for about 2.5 months, but a couple of weeks ago I got my slightly-fatter ass back on track and am almost back to where I had landed in August.  Of course the holidays will be tough, but I think I can do it.

The budget has been even better.  For quite possibly the first time in my life, I can actually tell you where every single cent that has come into my possession this year has gone.  I know what I’ve spent and where.   I know how much I have currently, and I know exactly what my last 3 paychecks of the year are going to do.   It is an amazing the control & peace that comes with being able to say that!  Part of this budget living has been with the objective of paying off as much debt as possible this year.  As I’ve said previously, my ultimate goal is to be debt-free by the end of 2010 (if not sooner) and I’m definitely on track to achieve that.

In the interest of transparency, I’ll let you guys in on some of the numbers because it’s a big deal how far I’ve come this year.

I started out 2008 with roughly $110,000 in debt comprised mostly of credit cards and unsecured loans.  I would also note that this did NOT include my mortgage.  Thanks mostly to my budget, last year’s bonus, and a huge tax refund, I will have paid off over $40,000 of that by the end of December.  Can I get a “WOW!”?

Now I know that 2009 will probably not allow me to make as huge a dent in this mountain - we’ve already been told that bonuses will be down and we may not see any raises this year.  Additionally, it’s looking like thanks to a miscalculation on my part, I may end up owing taxes as well.  But none of that matters right now because 2008 will still have been a smashing success in this area, and I am primed to at least keep moving forward.  Considering I have acquired no new debt since January and my credit cards were hacked to pieces in February, I think it’s safe to say that I will end in a much much MUCH better place than I did last year.

It’s still too early to start writing my 2009 resolutions as 2008 isn’t over yet.  But for what remains of the year, I just have to keep playing that line from the end of Star Wars where Luke and the other members of the Rebellion are out to destroy the Death Star and the one fighter pilot keeps saying to the others in this oddly calm voice: “Stay on target, stay on target.”

That will be my mantra for the next 7 weeks.  I promise I will write before then, but in the meantime, “May the Force be with you.”

However, seeing as this election was really a historical event more so than any other election has been, I do feel the need to at least comment about that aspect of it.

Come January 20th, we will have our first black president.  This is freaking huge and I don’t think the importance of this can be overstated.  Americans have finally shown themselves to be, as a majority, past the racial issues that divided us as little as half a century ago.  That is a big, massive deal and it’s encouraging to see that.  I have heard some say that this will go a long way in improving the rest of the world’s opinion of us as well.  Cool.

I was also encouraged by the number of people who came out to vote.  Every election I feel like I hear the phrase “record voter turnout” - can someone quantify that for me?  Are we really making a new record with each passing election?  If that’s true, then perhaps we are on our way to having nearly every American over 18 voting.  Right on.

I’m a major advocate of voting.  I believe in the democratic system (although the whole electoral college thing escapes me) and I believe that you have no right complaining if you’re not willing to go out and make your voice heard when you have a chance.  I’m just saying.

Before I sign-off and try to get some work done, I just want to close with a comment to the Christians out there who are unhappy with the outcome of the election.  As a Christian myself, I believe that we are called to be respectful of anyone who is in a position of authority whether we agree with them or not.  God is sovereign and I truly believe that whoever is in office is the best man (or woman) for the job in God’s big, strategic picture.

To quote Romans 13:1 (I just love Romans):

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.”

So no matter what your opinion is of Obama personally, he has been given this position by God and will need our prayers over his term in office.  He certainly will have my prayers as he takes on a job that carries more weight than I can imagine.

God Bless America!

Anyway, I wasn’t able to go to the Victory Parade, but my roommate Alyssa did and of course took pictures so here they are!

GO PHILS!

What this sometimes translates into is my having to say “no” to myself… I’m okay with this most of the time, but every so often, there’s something that comes along which I have a really hard time saying “no” to.

Right now, I want a Wii.

I’ve never been a particularly big video game player. Growing up, the only video games available were the giant man-sized consoles in the arcades sporting Pac-Man or Space Invaders. Eventually we started seeing Atari show up in my friends homes. Then Nintendo came out with their original gaming system. Everyone was playing groundbreaking games like Frogger, Q-bert, and Tetris. Once Mario Bros hit the scene, it was the birth of a whole new addiction for us GenX-ers and life would never be the same for any future generations.

I never had Atari, but we did get a Nintendo system when I was in high school. I enjoyed playing some of the games, but it never turned into an all-out love affair like I’ve seen happen with friends (particularly guys) over the years.

But this was before the Wii.

From the time the Wii was introduced, I was intrigued. The fact that there was a system where more than just your thumbs would be involved in the action looked like fun. Add to that, the Wii Fit. Can’t find time to go to the gym? Can’t afford the gym? Hate workout to tapes? Enter the Wii Fit! You can practice balance, take yoga, do aerobics, or even go skiing…all with the Wii Fit. How fabulous. I really want one. Bad.

Here’s how my inner circular dialogue on this subject is going:

“Can I get one?” I hear the inner-me asking. “Please please PLEASE?!”
“No. It’s not in the budget.”
“Well, can we PUT it in the budget? Please?”
“No…not right now.”
“But winter’s coming… We need to workout. We need to have some sort of activity…”
“I know…”
“So the Wii would be perfect - it’s way cheaper than joining a gym, and we can play with it regardless of the weather…”
“I know…”
“So why can’t we get one?”
“Because it’s not in the budget.”
“Well, can we PUT it in the budget?…”

And so it goes.

I’m actually debating trying to get one off of Craig’s List used…I’ve put out a few feelers on this.  If I could find a good enough deal, I think I’d give in to myself and pick it up.  Maybe.  The fact is I was going to try and budget a gym membership back in because I really am feeling the need to get more exercise than I currently do. The Wii would cost more upfront, but would be less over the long-run so from that standpoint, it makes sense.

Then again, it’s still about $300 I don’t really “need” to spend right now. ARG!

This past month has been a rough one for the budget. I’ve blown it pretty much all over the place and now am assessing the carnage. Things have also been tougher at work… While we’re not laying anyone off, we’ve been working hard to find ways to scale back on spending. Corporate travel is at a minimum. Hiring has been put on hold. Bonuses may be looking a bit malnourished compared to last year. And who knows if we’ll even be seeing raises.

Compounded with increased costs at home, this all translates into less money in my debt avalanche to throw at my mountain. Sigh.

Since I’m trying really hard to find other ways to save money, the idea of shelling out a few hundred extra in one shot does not appeal to me. I need to prioritize. I need to figure out what’s important and then focus on that.

From Dave Ramsey’s perspective, top priorities are easy:

1. Food
2. Shelter
3. Clothing

Well, I have plenty of food, I’m not living in a box or in a van down by the river, and I’m not naked so that’s good.

Next on the list would be things like utilities, etc. That’s one area I’m working on shaving some off of. Not electricity or water, but cable/internet and cell phone. Collectively those items are costing me $200/month which seems absolutely insane to me…and that’s with a deal on the Internet right now where I’m only paying $19.99/month. I called Comcast and they basically told me that if I dropped myself down to a basic package, I’d still be paying $92+tax for JUST cable with my current internet deal. Are they insane? I mean really – is this what people are paying these days? How on earth does anyone afford it? Tack onto that my cell phone bill which is averaging about $80/month. Granted, it’s my only phone, but I still think that’s nuts. I could switch to the much ballyhooed “Comcast Triple Play” but that would still end up being close to $150/month (with tax) for cable, internet, and phone with the additional boxes. So much for the advertised $114.95/month pricing which would seem misleading at best.

Apologies – I didn’t mean to get onto such a long cable plan tangent, but just trying to voice my frustration at trying to make the best budgetary decisions. Sometimes it’s an easy call (e.g. should I go out to dinner or not?) but other times the many facets of an issue can make it way difficult (e.g. should I get a Wii, a gym membership, or just buy fat-pants?)

Anyway, all this is to say that the budget is about balance…and trying to find it. What I’m discovering that this is a lot easier said than done.

So the question remains: Is there a future Wii for me?

I just don’t know.

Ladies & gentlemen, I give you:

Autumn in Bucks County

The fact that I did begin functioning on a budget, living on less than I make, and throwing as many hand grenades of cash at my debt as I can find has given me an alarming amount of peace during even these trouble financial/economic times.

As we all know, the government has been busy bailing out the mortgage industry and Wall Street (something which pisses me off to no end).  I, on the other  hand, would rather the mortgage industry and Wall Street clean up their own messes and leave our hard earned, taxpayer money out of it.  I have to clean up my own mess, why shoudn’t they?  Then again, we’ve managed to breed a society that in general doesn’t like to take personal responsibility for their actions.  They’d rather get a divorce, file for bankruptcy, or just run away.  When the going gets tough, the tough all turn into pansies.

I think that taking ownership of your mistakes and missteps is one of the things that grows you.  Turns you into a stronger person.  Humbles you.  And, in my Christian world view perspective, teaches you to lean more on God.

I kicked off 2008 annoyed, which really was the best place to be.  I find I can only really affect change in my life when I get to a point where I’m just ready to go ape on something.  I had been examining my financial state only to find that, after paying off debt with my bonus from the previous year, I had just managed to wrack it up again over the course of the previous 12 months…and this wasn’t the first time.  I’d had enough.

Today, I am happy to report that, although my 401(k) is struggling and I may be looking at a decrease in bonus for the coming year, I (with the help of Dave Ramsey) have broken the vicious financial cycle I’ve been more or less stuck churning in.  I may begin 2009 with a lower net worth due to my retirement accounts, but I am anticipating that my overall debt will be down at least 40% from where it was at the start of the year.  Yay!

So my personal bailout plan?

• Be on a written budget (”on paper, on purpose before the month begins”)
• Live on SIGNIFICANTLY less than I make
• Maintain my $1,000 starter emergency fund
• Continue my Debt Snowball until it becomes an avalanche
• Be debt free by the end of 2010 (WAHOO!)
• Build up my fully-funded emergency fund of 6-months of expenses
• Breathe easier!

Naturally it goes further than that (see Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps), but for now, this is what I’m focusing on.  More than anything, I want to dig myself out of this mountain of debt I’ve managed to all-but-bury myself in…but I don’t need (or want) the government to bail me out.  I can work.  I can budget.  I’ve got Dave Ramsey as a coach.

I got myself into this mess, and now I’ve got God helping me get out.  I’m pretty sure we can handle it.

But I digress…

In the midst of this cleaning frenzy, I came across some fun memorabilia – trinkets of the past, if you will – including (but not limited to):

• A photo taken of me & Jel the week I moved from Alaska – good times
• A coffee mug with the words “Safety First” from my trip to Thailand
• My last handwritten notebook journal and
• A bunch of “mix CDs” (which were post-mix tapes from high school, but pre-iPods & playlists).

Because music is a great thing to have on when you’re cleaning, or doing anything that keeps you from focusing on something steady like a TV screen, I popped in the CDs I’d found and let them play themselves silly.  I had no idea what was on them (I wasn’t much for labeling back in the late-90’s and early 2000’s when they were apparently made) and so I likewise had no idea what a ride I was in for.

I never cease to be amazed by the power that music has to evoke memories. Like smells, music can put me back in time and space to a particular place in an instant. As the CDs worked their way from beginning to end, I found myself completely transported – barely aware of the furniture, books, and boxes I was surrounded by.  I was at the mercy of the tunes.  The music had taken over.

Suddenly, I was…

• In the car with my sister (Jo) at Great Adventure in the safari, the giant head of a giraffe poking through the sunroof (Rusted Root – Send Me On My Way)
• Dancing in the snow with Jel at Beluga Point in the middle of the night (Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus)
• Working out at Dragon’s gym in Leamington Spa when I lived in the UK (Robbie Williams – Let Love Be Your Energy)
• Sailing through the Greek Isles in July 2001 (U2 – Beautiful Day)
• Camping with my sister outside of Denali National Park (Counting Crows – Round Here)
• Driving through Anchorage in the snow my first winter there (REM – Leave)
• In the beach bar on Relax Bay in Thailand (Dido – Here With Me)
• Hanging with my friends at the Willow Grove Mall in Junior High (Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me)
• Running around the reservoir with Jennifer in Central Park (U2 – Veritgo)
• Rockin’ out with Kristy in the car while driving around really cool places like Quakertown, Pennsburg, and East Greenville, PA (EMF - Unbelievable)
• Watching TV n the UK with Kristin when she came to visit (Element 4 - Big Brother Theme)
• Doin’ the dance with Jel in the car or at The Last Frontier…and most recently at her house in Edmonds (Will Smith – Men In Black)
• Seeing U2 in concert with Es in the post-9/11 “Elevation” tour (U2 – Elevation)
• On the Youth Group retreat up at Kutztown University, summer of 1989 (Cheap Trick – The Flame)
• Sailing in Thailand (Coldplay – Clocks)
• Seeing REM live from the front “row” in Seattle during the Bumbershoot Music Festival with Jel in 1999 (REM – Lotus)
• Hanging out in Memphis with Es (Live – Selling the Drama)
• On the Amtrak ride from Philly to Seattle when I moved up to Alaska in 1996 (REM – How The West Was Won & Where It Got Us)

I could go on and on and on.

In looking at that list, I can’t help but wonder where on earth the time goes.  Seriously - it just flies.  But that aside, I know that no matter what, I need to hang onto these CDs (or at least the playlists) so that when I’m old and gray and sitting in a retirement home somewhere, all I’ll need to do to relive the best moments of my life will be to play through one of these bad boys.  Pop in a CD (or put on a playlist) and my mind will be off and running.

Of course I’ve got a lot of years left and since I’m still collecting memories this way, I figure I’m going to have some crazy long-ass playlists by then…

Hopefully the technology will be able to keep up.

In case you’re interested, here is an interesting article I found which discusses music’s other superhero-like capabilities: http://www.livescience.com/health/081015-music-power.html

Apparently in addition to provoking memories, it can ease pain, influence mood, boost immunity, overcome fatigue, increase intelligence, reduce stress, anxiety, and depression…to name a few.  I don’t know if I can think of anything non-drug or alcohol-related that can claim all of that.

So what’s everyone waiting for?  Pump up the jam!

And on that last point, here are some pics I took today - I plan to take more, but thought this was a good start.  It’s by far one of the nicest things about living in the Northeast.

But that’s a topic for another post.  This post is about flooring.

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you’ll be familiar with some of the drama that I’ve had to face being a homeowner.  This has included a rogue washing machine, appliance issues, and a suicidal heat pump.  Owning an older home typically also includes a vast wish list of improvements, enhancements, changes, or other adjustments either to make the home your own, or to at least bring it into the current decade.

My townhouse was built in 1987 when Cindi Lauper, Def Leppard, and sheet linoleum were all the rage.  Since moving in, I have repainted every wall (and I mean EVERY wall) of the house, I have put up new closet shelving, replaced appliances and the roof.  I painted the kitchen cabinets, put in a pantry, and even added built-in shelves (that I made myself, I might add) to the bathroom.  Still, these are all very minor compared to some of the items I still have on my to-do.

One of my dreams for my little space is to replace the floors.  As I discussed in my original Hopelessly Devoted to Hardwood post, replacing the pre-Deb carpet in the downstairs with hardwood was certainly at the top of my list and I am most happy to report that this week it has actually happened!

That’s right - hardwood floors now abound throughout my downstairs.  No more hidden dirt and grime.  No more haven for dust mites.  No more fearing what might lie in wait between the fibers of the nasty-ass carpet.  Swiffer is my new best friend.  The new floor starts at the door and carries through the powder room, entryway, and back through the dining & living rooms.  It looks fabulous.  It makes the whole downstairs feel bigger and lighter.  I couldn’t concentrate on the debate last night because I was so distracted by my floor’s beauty…and I can’t wait to get home tonight just to look at it some more.

Of course the staircase and the second floor are still carpeted, but that’s okay - it’s going to be replaced with better, clean, safer carpet.  Carpet that I wouldn’t be afraid to lie down on.

Naturally I’ll take pictures (or better yet, a video!) and post on here, but in the meantime I just wanted to share the joy.  The only thing outstanding now is the kitchen…  The floor was ripped up in there as well because it ran into the hallway, but is now just a mess of paper backing from the original linoleum.  It’s weird and rough and messy and smells funny.  I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it past the weekend with it like that…

Anyone interested in helping me tile?

Later that same day…

Look at my shiny new floors!

This is my world, and on this day where the Dow dropped 678 points, I just felt the need to vent a little, so here it is.

I have been in financial services for just over 11 years.  Not terribly long in the great scheme of things, but certainly it’s long enough.  Long enough to know what’s going on.  Long enough to be saddened by it.  Long enough to know that we’re headed into really dangerous waters…especially if the government keeps sticking its big, fat nose into places it doesn’t belong in the name of trying to “fix” it.  The fact is that government intervention is not the way out of this mess.  The government is not some sort of beacon in the night.  They are not - and cannot - be our savior although it seems they believe they’re up to the challenge.  Did I say “dangerous waters” before?  Perhaps “shark-infested” would be more appropriate.

So we have a market acting like it has bipolar disorder, an underlying real estate fall-out with unreal foreclosure rates and the banking industry has turned cannibalistic in order to avoid total failure.  In the past few weeks we have seen the collapse of companies with century-long track records and household names come crashing down (Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, and Merrill Lynch to name a few).  In my life and my 10 years at Merrill, I would never have expected that to happen…but who would?  Then again, we know this kind of thing can happen (can you say “Enron”?) so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised, but I tend towards optimism.

Then as if all of this wasn’t enough, we have a presidential election in less than a month.  I don’t think they could have planned a worse time to be listening to politicians make empty promises.  While we’re trying to work through a major financial crisis, I come home to find my mailbox stuffed with direct mail campaign pieces (for Obama mostly) which surely couldn’t have been free to produce.  Is all that really necessary?  Even in watching the debate this week, I found myself getting frustrated.  At one point I wanted to scream at them, “Could you two just stop your pissing contest for two seconds and freakin’ LISTEN!”  Sorry - I don’t like politicians much…can you tell?  (As a sidenote on the election and politics, I found a really cool website resource called OpenSecrets.org - check it out).

Anyway, so there’s a lot going on.  It can seem overwhelming.  In fact, I’m sure it IS overwhelming for a lot of people.  A lot of people don’t really understand everything that’s happening in the markets - all they know is that their 401(k) is going down in value like a rock right now.  The sad thing is that ignorance is the mother of fear and fear’s best friend is rashness, and when money (or the loss thereof) is the reason for the fear, I think it shoots people into a whole ‘nother orbit of emotion.  I was watching Fox Business News tonight and they had a panel of financial experts with phone lines open.  One woman called in and said she had gotten so scared she sold all of her mutual funds today.  I cringed.  While I don’t want to be cavalier about people’s fear because it’s certainly real enough, if I’ve learned nothing else on Wall Street, it’s that when it comes to your investments, emotion has no place in your decision-making process.  Emotion will cloud your judgment and make you do things like sell all your investments at the bottom (or near bottom) of an already bad market.  I felt so sorry for that woman because I honestly believe selling everything was the wrong move.  Suffice it to say, I’m leaving my 401(k) alone.

In any case, there are lessons to be learned here for everyone - from John Doe to Congress.  Good ‘ol Johnny boy needs to learn how to better manage his personal finances (hey, maybe that Dave Ramsey guy knows what he’s talking about…go figure!)  And Congress?  Well, Congress needs to stop trying to act like a bunch of socialists…and that goes for our future president too - whoever he may be.

So that’s 2008…and it’s not over yet.  I’m not sure this is quite the way we would have WANTED to have the year remembered, but there it is.  The media is screaming (because that’s what they do) and the sky indeed may seem like it’s falling, but I’m not worried because at the end of the day, I know the One who is holding it up.

For now, I’m praying.  Praying for our government, for the election, and the economy.  Praying for sanity and for opportunities.  Most of all, I’ll be praying that one of the things we’ll all see is how unstable the world really is at its core, and therefore how foolish it is to put trust in it. Instead, we need to put our faith and trust on something solid, steady, and unchanging. We need to build our metaphorical houses on the Rock because there it doesn’t matter what winds may blow (or what markets may fall) - the Rock doesn’t move. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in this storm.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” (Matthew 7:23-25)

I can only assume that they were headed south and decided to make a pit-stop in my development.  Having been truly terrorized by an insanely loud bird who had decided to nest in a tree near her bedroom window this past spring, my roommate’s response when she saw the masses of winged beasts was one of minor terror.  She threatened to call an exterminator, if it came to that.  But I quickly reassured her since I was fairly certain they weren’t there to stay.

I managed to get them on video…sort of.  It was my cell phone so definitely not the best video capture (and certainly nothing to rivial the camera angles and genius of Hitchcock), but I think you’ll get the idea.  I managed to get some of them as they flew off which was pretty cool.

It has got to be the most birds I have ever seen at one time in my life.

He’s what remains of a practical joke myself and a coworker (Ed) played on another coworker (Matt).

Matt had gone on vacation, so Ed and I decided to replace all of Matt’s various family photos with the weirdest ones we could find.  Ed struck gold on the Internet and came in with some real winners.  When Matt came back, naturally he noticed pretty quickly and we all had a good laugh, but one of the photos continues to pop back up periodically.

Kenneth and his caterpillar-like mustache’s most recent appearance (and possibly his new permanent home) is located peeking up over the wall of my cube from Matt’s.  He strategically placed himself above the corner of my whiteboard so that he can give me a quote du jour.  Among the things he’s said so far:

• “Hey baby, how ’bout a date?”
• “I am dumb as a rock.”
• “You have yourself a nice weekend, doll.  Call me!”
• “Did you get the memo?”

Anyway, I just wanted to share this little bit of my daytime cubical existence.  Below I managed to capture a photo to help you visualize the creepiness - apparently Kenneth is bilingual.  Good times.

Through work and on my own, I’ve been through multiple classes (including Myers-Briggs, DISC, and some others) and find that it helps me to understand other people as well as myself.

For those who may not be as familiar, ENFP (“The Inspirer”) actually stands for Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving. In essence, ENFPs are all over the map. Our interests are many and varied which I think helps us in being able to relate well to others because chances are there’s going to be some interest we have in common.

I think being a “people-person” predisposes me to interest in personality types and what they mean. Some shy away from personality tests because they prefer not to be “labeled” and that they’ve seen too many people use their personality types as an excuse for poor behavior.

Personally, I don’t find these to be valid reasons for personality test abstinence. A so-called “label” is whatever you make of it – just like stereotypes. For example, I’m blonde and while that may indeed subject me to some ridiculous stereotyping (”Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?”), I’m not about to run out and dye my hair because of them. I also think that if someone is prone to making excuses for poor behavior, they’re not going to stop just because one of their excuses was taken away – they’ll just go out and find another one. But whatever.

I have been an ENFP my entire life…at least I suspect as much. I took my first Myers-Briggs test when I was about 12 as a result of my grandfather who used to insist that anyone entering the family take the test to see how their personality differed from their soon-to-be spouse (I think everyone came up as exact opposites which made me wonder if they hadn’t, would my grandfather have refused to let them marry?) Anyway, I came out an ENFP. I took the test again at 18, 22, 25, and 30. Each test still showed me as an ENFP, although I watched the scores for each letter grow over time so that rather than slowly becoming more “balanced” between each type indicator as some do, I actually became a stronger ENFP. Today I am a more-or-less textbook case – perhaps I should be studied.

Some of what you can learn about yourself can have you feeling pretty good (e.g. ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential.*) Other things you get to learn about are your weaknesses (e.g. ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.*) Hm. Something to work on.

One thing I’ve learned is that, unlike most Extroverted types, my specific combination needs some alone time. This was a relief to discover this after recognizing my desire to sometimes say “no” to going out with people which I thought was supposedly contrary to how extroverts in general behaved. I have also found on vacations that my limit for spending non-stop time with others is roughly 9 days. For instance, on my Thailand sailing trip with 14 other people on 2 relatively small boats, I got up 9 days into the trip, grabbed my iPod, and sat on the bow of the boat for several hours alone that morning without speaking to anyone. I needed that time to get myself recharged and centered – it felt great.

However, I think that results from things like Myers-Briggs or DISC are pretty useless if you aren’t given the direction or tools to know what to do with the information once you have it. At Merrill Lynch, they employed psychologists who conducted team-building workshops which were great. There are other tools and coaches out there who use them to help you discern what career path (or new career) might be a good fit. This is one of the things I’ve used it for – to help give me ideas about where I might want to focus my attentions in the future.

Should I go back to school and become a brain surgeon, or should I consider getting a job at SeaWorld feeding the dolphins?  Perhaps I’ve missed my calling as a professional glassblower, or maybe I should go back to being a waitress.  Maybe I would really blossom in the paint-color naming department of Sherwin Williams, or do I stick with my current role as a Project Manager for the rest of my working life?

I actually think I will always be a project manager whether in my current capacity or not.  Life is full of “projects” (a.k.a. things we have to complete from start to finish) and since ENFPs get bored easily and therefore are generally not good at follow-through, being a project manager now I’m finding is a great help in training myself to finish something I start. That’s great, but the question still remains – What is around the next bend on my Yellow Brick Career Path?  If only I had a periscope to see.

So anyone else want to share their 4-letter code?  No stereotypes – I promise.

* All quotes referencing the ENFP MBTI® personality type are taken from the BSM Consulting website (http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP.html)

Okay, first and foremost, I want it to be clear that I did NOT go to see this film because it was some sort of Christian movie.  In fact, I had no idea that it was until after it started, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Around 10 o’clock this morning, I got a call from my grandmother asking me if I’d like to go to the movies with her.  She said she never goes anymore, and that there was some new film out she wanted to see called Fireproof .  I agreed, of course (who among us could say “no” to their grandmother?) and looked up the times for the nearest theater on Fandango and we decided to catch an afternoon showing.

As for the film, Fandango didn’t have much to say about it, and I knew nothing.  Being a Dave Ramsey budgeter, I hardly ever go out to the movies anymore and then being a Tivo owner, I no longer watch commercials so had not seen any trailers.  So in essence, I was a totally blank slate going into this with no preconceived ideas or expectations of any kind.

The story centers around a firefighter named Caleb Holt (Kirk Cameron) and his wife, Catherine (Erin Bethea), whose marriage is on full-speed towards a divorce until Caleb’s father challenges him to hold-off on proceedings while he completes a 40-day “love dare.”  Caleb reluctantly agrees, but finds it increasingly difficult as his wife appears to slip further away as a doctor at the hospital where she works begins to vie for her affections.  Caleb presses on, however, encouraged by his father and a fellow firefighter and eventually the story meets its inevitable happy ending.  The film is supported by some good comic relief in parts, and a decent score as well.

My first thought was that the people on screen (with the exception of Kirk Cameron) really couldn’t act very well.  Then I started to see the major Christian references and quickly picked up on what kind of movie this was.  Suddenly my grandmother’s interest in this film made a lot more sense.

Great, I thought, I’ve just unknowingly signed up to watch some sort of weird, cheesy, God-flick.  Flashbacks of elementary school visits to “The Christian Cinema” in Ambler flooded over me coupled with the time I rented Left Behind (admittedly not one of my better movie choices).  I sighed inwardly and decided to just relax and see if I can’t at least enjoy some aspect of it.  At the very least, it would be kinda fun to see one of my favorite junior high crushes on the big screen for the first time since LIke Father, Like Son in 1987.

To my near-complete surprise, I found myself enjoying the film.  The acting which at first seemed contrived, actually got better as the movie progressed…or I just stopped noticing that it was poor (which is probably more likely).  I liked the characters with the exception of the doctor (whose only real contribution seemed to be that of the worst acting overall) but really found myself hoping for the happy ending.

Acting aside, my main criticism of the movie would be that it went on long after what I would have thought to be the natural end.  I understand what they were trying to communicate in that excess time, but really feel it was unnecessary.  The writers could’ve given the audience a little more credit to infer the rest themselves.

My other criticism isn’t so much specific to this movie in particular, but to these so-called “religious message” films as a whole.  I appreciate whole-heartedly what they are trying to accomplish - and indeed I would love to incorporate “The Love Dare” as part of my marriage (should I ever have one someday) but I just don’t understand why Christians feel the need to be so insanely blatant in their storytelling that they end up painting themselves into a niche corner and risk potentially turning off those they most are attempting to reach.

I’m not saying that as Christians we shouldn’t be upfront about Jesus and our faith in Him.  Not at all.  But I think that if people feel like they’re being preached to when they haven’t gone voluntarily into a church, we may not really have the impact we’re trying to.  However, if we were to just put down the Bible-shaped bat some use to beat the world over the head with and instead just show others Jesus by loving them right where they are, the results just might be surprising.

I don’t want to be too hard on Fireproof - I basically really liked it…it’s a sweet love story and I would recommended it for anyone who is in a relationship, ever has been in a relationship, or ever thinks that they may one day be in a relationship.  All I’m saying is that I think it may have drawn in a wider audience if they had spent a little more energy on character development and let the story of love, humility, sacrifice, service, forgiveness, and redemption speak for itself.  All of these things are amazingly attractive even without being framed within a full-out alter call because they are all attributes and side-effects of knowing and loving our God.  If we show the world these in our everyday lives - from the way we treat each other to the way we approach difficult situations - then we’re showing the world Jesus whether they recognize it or not, and then watch them come looking for more.

But maybe that’s just me, so take it with a grain of salt (or pepper, if you prefer), but Christian or not, I still would say go see this movie.  The story really does stand on its own; and the underlying message of love being a choice backed-up (and at times made possible) through action rather than simply feelings-based is a strong, solid one worth the time and money.

Just for fun, I’ll leave you with a link to what the New York TImes reviewer had to say about it - always good to get that objective third-partier’s 2 cents…

FIreproof: Putting Out Housefires, Reigniting Passions by Neil Genzlinger

Some of my control freak tendencies as a younger me stemmed from trying to figure out how to survive in the “real world”.  Prior to leaving my parents house, there wasn’t much I had to worry about, so I think I had more time and energy to spend being controlling about stupid things in life like the organization of my CDs.

Once I got out on my own, suddenly there were more real concerns…and these were concerns I had to face not as part of a newly married couple (as so many of my friends were), but as a single 22-year-old with no clue.  I was plagued with questions like: How do I get my utilities turned on for my new apartment?  Where’s the nearest laundromat?  What do you cook with when you have no money to buy pots & pans?  Can the human body truly subsist on mac & cheese alone?

Initially, I was also still concerned with the mundane issues like having my CDs in alphabetical order by artist, but the more busy I got with attending to the bigger picture, the more those cares and tendencies towards trying to control the little things slip away.  Today, my CDs are still more-or-less arranged by artist, but are not alphabetical and are spread across at least 5 different locations in my home so if you’re looking for a particular CD, good luck because unless it’s U2, I probably can’t tell you where it is.

I think if I were a true Type-A individual (which, as we all know is just a nice way of saying “control freak”), something like coming over and messing with my kitchen drawers or cabinets, would totally rock my world.  However, I can say with a pretty high degree of confidence that you could go ahead and do this and I wouldn’t really care.  This is not to say that I don’t try to keep my kitchen organized – I do, but not because I feel the need to be in control of my kitchen.  Rather, I just think it’s easier when all the pots, plates, glasses, and bowls are with more of their own kind.  Call me crazy, but I like not having to hunt for lids to my Tupperware. I’m also somewhat limited in cabinet space, so things have to remain somewhat organized or else it wouldn’t all fit.  Actually, the more I write about this, the more I realize that my kitchen may not really be the best illustration.

Let’s try the pantry instead.

My pantry is a crazy, assorted array of dry food and spices.  There is pasta, cans of soup, cereal, boxes of 100 Calorie packs, pudding, taco seasoning packets, and God-knows-what-else. The only things remotely organized about it are that the spices are all together on a rack and I think that the cereal is more or less on the same shelf.  That’s it.  My pantry is definitely NOT the pantry of a control freak.  Monica Geller would probably need to be hospitalized if she saw it.  My pantry is more representative of my approach to life than any other part of my house:  As long as I can find things and nothing is in danger of falling off the shelf, I’m good.

The problem with this approach to life is that it may work for my pantry, but doesn’t really fly when you’re trying to do things like a budget.  Until I started the Dave Ramsey plan in February, I’d go literally years without balancing my checkbook.  My sister would say she couldn’t understand how I could NOT balance my checkbook and I would try to explain to her how it was just one of those things I found tiresome and tedious and really not all that important.  I realize now that, while still tiresome and tedious, the balancing of the checkbook is actually very important.  Essential even.  Being on a budget and along the path to becoming debt free has forced me into a behavior pattern that does not come naturally to me – surprisingly I’m pretty good at it, but that doesn’t make it easy.  Needless to say, this has been a difficult albeit necessary shift for me.

Dave Ramsey calls people like me a “Free Spirit” (read: non-control freak) which is essentially the antithesis of what he calls a “Nerd” (read: control freak).  Marriages, he says, are generally made up with one of each.  As a Free Spirit single, having to take on Nerd activities is a real challenge for sure, but where I’m finding myself struggle the most these days is in keeping up my motivation. 9-months into my debt-free path, my interest is waning.  It was easy enough when I first started out and kicked some major debt-ass with my year-end bonus and tax refund, but the day-to-day grind is what’s bringing me down.  My monthly committee meetings with my budget accountability partner (Shanna) is a great help.  She gives me some much needed “Atta-girls” and reminds me to look at how far I’ve come since the starting point, not get caught up in how far away the finish line feels (”Are we there yet, Papa Smurf?”)

So Shanna helps.  Reading through old posts from when I first started my budget also helps.  But what I’m really getting excited about is what the next few months hold.  There are some things coming up which I feel will give me a much-needed ‘Matt Foley‘ motivational speech…and not a moment too soon.

First is a one-day seminar on Personal Finance we’re holding at The Well in November followed by a full run of Financial Peace University which we’re starting in February 2009.  In general I find there is nothing like feeding off the inspiration that comes from being surrounded by others on the same journey…

Additionally I know that as I get more involved in this area, I will be able to help encourage and support others which I think is the best form of motivation there is…  Well, that and not waiting to end up living in a van down by the river.

Saturday was the day.  We were originally shooting for September 13th, but the weather had called for rain and so rather than risk it, we postponed a week.  Weather-wise, it was worth the wait.  We had a beautiful day - the kind where you want nothing more than to be outside, so what could be better than being outside while making a few bucks off your junk?

I was up at 5am, out the door by 5:30.  After a quick stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for a veritable jug of coffee and a dozen donuts, I made it to Shanna’s in time to start unloading the car and setting out the boxes and boxes of things I had managed to pull out of my attic and identify as unused, unwanted, and undeniably ugly…well, some of it anyway.
What I also found funny was how Es’s article really hit on what is so bizarre-yet-true about yard sales (and eBay, for that matter):  The things people will (and won’t) buy.  It makes no sense.  At all.  There were things I pulled out of my attic and stuck little pre-priced stickers on I thought would be snatched up within the first half-hour while other items I considered to be grotesque would surely sit as unwanted on the yard as they had in my attic.

Not so.

Instead, cute little candlesticks I picked up ages ago and have never used were barely glanced at while people were purchasing things I couldn’t imagine a possible use for outside of a gag-gift or cruel joke.  Among the hideous items were these repulsive ceramic cat figurines I used to adore as a child (okay, so I didn’t exactly have great taste at 7 - does anyone?)  Nor am I clear on why exactly I liked them at all.

To start with, I’m allergic to cats.  Strike one.  And these in particular looked like they had been crafted by people in China who may have never actually seen a cat.  Strike two.  Then adding insult in injury, they were painted with the most putrid shade of brown.  Strike three.

It definitely makes me wonder why anyone would have given them to me in the first place, not to mention why I’ve kept them so long after I came to my senses and stopped displaying them.  The best excuse I can come up with is that they had just been forgotten in their bubblewrapped existence packed away in the rafters with more of the same.

Still, thanks to someone else’s odd taste in collectibles, it was nice that all these years later these ugly cats actually managed to put a dollar in my pocket.  Collectively, my odd and unwanted items didn’t exactly bring me wealth, but a little over $80 which is more than they were giving me sitting in my attic.

I also did sell some good stuff that I hoped I would.  My giant, wire mesh drawer unit was hauled away for $5.  I also had someone offer me $15 for all of the CDs I had out.  The binoculars with a built-in digital camera which I had gotten from work walked away for $15.  And then of course there were things I had no intention of selling whatsoever that people still asked me about (”Hey, how much for the puppy?”)

Like Esther, sold or not, I refused to take anything home.  I wanted it ALL gone…even the cute little candlesticks.  So what remained ended up getting shuttled over to Good Will where I hope someone finds my candlesticks cute too and gives them a nice home.

As for the cats, considering how quickly they sold just off the yard, it does make one wonder if I could have made more off them on eBay, but I don’t really care.  After all, a bird in the hand, right?

So, how do you sell an ugly cat?  It’s not hard - if you set it out on your lawn, apparently it will draw buyers in all on its own with little-to-no effort.  Just be careful what else you set out there or you might end up accidentally selling your dog or kid…unless, of course, you want to.

Rarely do I pull my physical notebook journals out of moth balls anymore.  I used to think that when I got older, I would share them with my daughter - assuming I had one - and since that hasn’t happened as yet, I have basically let them sit together bundled up in a Rubbermaid container lo these many years gone by.

So today for kicks, I pulled them out of the dark corner in the closet to take a quick glimpse into what 9-year-old, 12-year-old, 15-year-old me was like, and - in the name of blog post topics - thought I’d share some of the inner workings of Deb-in-the-making.  Who knows…this may turn out to be a great theme to do a series of posts on…we shall see.  Of course, it could also turn out to be as boring and dry as butterless toast, in which case this may be my ONLY post where I share from my past!

The first post below is actually the second entry in my diary.  To give you background, the day before I had gone to a rollerskating party for school (remember those?) and a friend of mine who I don’t remember to save my life (Jenny) spent the night.

Hope you enjoy the following writings of a 9-year-old on a mission - I am typing it as-written so enjoy also the typos and lovely word usages - some so vague I’ve inserted the true meaning:

23 March 1984

Dear Diary,

After what happened last night today I was in a very good mood.  Jenny went home at 1:00 o’clock.  Before she left we went to the drug store.  Also today is grandaddy’s birthday.  And Jenny and I made him a bookmark.  After Jenny left I went to the drug store to get a card for Grandaddy.  I had to go there twice because at first I got a card for “Grandmother”!  And then when I went back again I got a card about an ensurance pollice (read: insurance policy).  He was 39 today (read: 58 - I was WAAAAY off!).  When I got to his house Jocelyn was there and so was Aunt Susan, Uncle Jeff, and Uncle Scott “and soon to be…” Aunt Lisa.  Jocelyn had a baby that has a white washcloth and pink baby diper pins for a diper.  For supper we had lots of things and the cake was called chocklet cream and it had chocklet iceing in some parts nad it was almost competly covered with mine (read: mini) chips covered with chocklet power (read: powder).

Sign.

One more quick entry…something of an early movie review:

16 June 1984

Dear Diary,

I think today was wonderful!  Daddy, Joanna, and I went and picked-up Sarah and Allyson.  Then we went to church.  Soon after we got there we went to Gremlians (read: Gremlins as in the movie).  It was so scary and so funny.  There was this one part after all the bad gremlains were about.  Some of them saw the children singing to the people (mind you it was Christmas eve) so they actacked (read: attacked) the children, got on ear muffs and everything and went to the door of an old lady that hated children that sang.  So when she heard the gremlains singing she got mad, went to the door and when she saw the gremlains, she was scared half out of her wits.  She hoped (read: hopped) in her chair that went up next to the steps, turned it on hight (read: high) speed and went zooming up the stairs.  When the chair got to the top it went through the window and flying!

P.S. it wasn’t hot today.

‘Nough said, I think.  Stay tuned for more…

Today I’d like to share a guest post from Deb Miller. Deb lives in the Philadelphia suburbs, blogs at The Writer Bee and is part of The Well community. At the bottom of the post, I’ve linked to a few of my favorite posts she has shared on her blog. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have… Read the rest of this entry.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” - Jeremiah 29:11

The saying that “hindsight is always 20/20” is an interesting one because people typically use it when referring to things they think they should have done like, “Oh, if I had only invested in Microsoft when it first went public…” However, I think it’s also something that applies at times to understanding God’s providence and protection of us.

Sometimes things happen and we have absolutely no clue as to why – for instance, you miss a plane and end up taking another flight, but unless the plane you were supposed to be on doesn’t go down in flames, there doesn’t seem to be any obvious reason as to why you missed that one particular flight. Other times, I think we’re shown reasons why something happens the way that it does – like God gives us a little peek into His plan and, while there may be thousands (or even millions) of reasons why something happens the way that it does, we are shown one or two of those reasons that perhaps impact only us.

I am having one of those moments.

This has so far been one of the craziest most historical weeks I have known since I started working in financial services. As the sub-prime mortgage market continues to wreak havoc on the industry, we are all watching the decimation of companies like Lehman Brothers while Merrill Lynch is consumed by Bank of America. AIG is next on the chopping block if someone doesn’t step in to save the day by helping them raise the capital they need to stay afloat. There’s something really sad about watching companies of 100+ years disappear…even sadder when you realize that it could have been avoided if not for the over-leveraging of debt. Hm…perhaps Dave Ramsey is right – perhaps too much debt and risk is not wise! I see “leverage” in reference to debt as fast becoming a dirty word in financial circles. For a taste of the impact this is having, consider that Merrill Lynch stock closed yesterday at $16.59. Lehman Brothers was at $0.18. Imagine if you worked there and your retirement account consisted of mostly company stock. Can you say, “Enron”? Scary, sad stuff.

That’s what’s happening now, but let me take you back to 2006…

Merrill was trading around $80. I had moved out of NYC to take another role with ML in Princeton in October 2005. I had been with the company for almost 10 years, but due to circumstances beyond my control, I ended up leaving the company. It was a tough decision – I had been with ML a long time and had a lot of connections and loyalty there, but after much thought and prayer, I knew it was the right thing to do. As a result of my changing companies, I transferred my 401(k) out of the company which forced me to sell the bulk of my stock holding and purchase mutual funds instead. In an effort to also have a stake in my new company, I sold about half of what little ML stock I had left and purchased shares of the new company (since this is a public post, I’m not going to say where I work now, but most of those reading this already know).

From where I stand now, I look back on the series of events that after a decade moved me away from Merrill Lynch only a year before things started to fall apart. Merrill began their write-down’s from the sub-prime fallout in late 2007 and has been struggling as a company ever since. There have been layoffs, salary freezes, and bonus cuts. It has not been an easy time over there – every time I go to look up one of my friends, I can never be sure whether they’re still employed.

By the end of 2007, Merrill was trading at $58. By August of this year, their stock was hovering in the $20’s. Meanwhile, because of the company change, I ended up getting out of almost all my Merrill holdings (which included about half of my 401(k)) at $84. Wow.

Again, I don’t want to go into details about my current company, but suffice it to say that we are standing strong. Even in this environment, we are hiring. Last year we saw raises and increased bonuses. We have stood out as one of the true industry leaders. We have been (and will continue to be from what I can tell) part of the solution and not the problem. Where my friends and colleagues from other firms are worried about their jobs, I have security I would have never imagined in an industry environment like this.

I could have never predicted this, but that’s where I see the hand of God. He knew that this was coming down the road. By moving me out of Merrill Lynch when He did He knew that I would be secured in a way I could have never foreseen or even imagined. I’m not at all trying to say that if I was still with Merrill that He wouldn’t have had a purpose in that – His sovereignty oversees all situations and circumstances – but the fact is that He didn’t leave me there.

I also find that these moments where I get to see 20/20 increases my ability to trust Him through the times where things might not turn out so obviously well. I praise Him when they do (e.g. saving me from Merrill), but also when they don’t (e.g. still single at 34 – what the heck?). I guess you could say it all helps keep things in perspective.

So when I find myself in a situation that doesn’t make sense or that seems like the world is crashing down around me, I can pull from what I know to be true about God and His love and rest in the fact that His ultimate purpose and plan for me will not “leave me out to dry” eternally. He will come through (Rom. 8:28). He is always there (Matt. 28:20). He loves us beyond measure (John 3:16). What more could you ask for?

God rocks.

Pictures are posted on Flickr which really speak for themselves, but here are a few highlights from the trip:

1. Dinner, laughs, and commandeering the jukebox at Diamond Knot with Amy & Jel.
2. Reliving the 80’s & 90’s music videos on YouTube.
3. Doing the MIB dance with Will for the first time in almost a decade.
4. Introducing Sean to “Dumb & Dumber”.
5. Dealing with the smell I most commonly associate with NYC in a Seattle’s Best Coffee shop in downtown Seattle.
6. N.E.I.E.C.