I find it funny that the month my friend Esther’s column in her local newspaper featured an article on a multi-family yard sale, I actually participated in one myself.

Saturday was the day.  We were originally shooting for September 13th, but the weather had called for rain and so rather than risk it, we postponed a week.  Weather-wise, it was worth the wait.  We had a beautiful day – the kind where you want nothing more than to be outside, so what could be better than being outside while making a few bucks off your junk?

I was up at 5am, out the door by 5:30.  After a quick stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for a veritable jug of coffee and a dozen donuts, I made it to Shanna’s in time to start unloading the car and setting out the boxes and boxes of things I had managed to pull out of my attic and identify as unused, unwanted, and undeniably ugly…well, some of it anyway.
What I also found funny was how Es’s article really hit on what is so bizarre-yet-true about yard sales (and eBay, for that matter):  The things people will (and won’t) buy.  It makes no sense.  At all.  There were things I pulled out of my attic and stuck little pre-priced stickers on I thought would be snatched up within the first half-hour while other items I considered to be grotesque would surely sit as unwanted on the yard as they had in my attic.

Not so.

Instead, cute little candlesticks I picked up ages ago and have never used were barely glanced at while people were purchasing things I couldn’t imagine a possible use for outside of a gag-gift or cruel joke.  Among the hideous items were these repulsive ceramic cat figurines I used to adore as a child (okay, so I didn’t exactly have great taste at 7 – does anyone?)  Nor am I clear on why exactly I liked them at all.

To start with, I’m allergic to cats.  Strike one.  And these in particular looked like they had been crafted by people in China who may have never actually seen a cat.  Strike two.  Then adding insult in injury, they were painted with the most putrid shade of brown.  Strike three.

It definitely makes me wonder why anyone would have given them to me in the first place, not to mention why I’ve kept them so long after I came to my senses and stopped displaying them.  The best excuse I can come up with is that they had just been forgotten in their bubblewrapped existence packed away in the rafters with more of the same.

Still, thanks to someone else’s odd taste in collectibles, it was nice that all these years later these ugly cats actually managed to put a dollar in my pocket.  Collectively, my odd and unwanted items didn’t exactly bring me wealth, but a little over $80 which is more than they were giving me sitting in my attic.

I also did sell some good stuff that I hoped I would.  My giant, wire mesh drawer unit was hauled away for $5.  I also had someone offer me $15 for all of the CDs I had out.  The binoculars with a built-in digital camera which I had gotten from work walked away for $15.  And then of course there were things I had no intention of selling whatsoever that people still asked me about (”Hey, how much for the puppy?”)

Like Esther, sold or not, I refused to take anything home.  I wanted it ALL gone…even the cute little candlesticks.  So what remained ended up getting shuttled over to Good Will where I hope someone finds my candlesticks cute too and gives them a nice home.

As for the cats, considering how quickly they sold just off the yard, it does make one wonder if I could have made more off them on eBay, but I don’t really care.  After all, a bird in the hand, right?

So, how do you sell an ugly cat?  It’s not hard – if you set it out on your lawn, apparently it will draw buyers in all on its own with little-to-no effort.  Just be careful what else you set out there or you might end up accidentally selling your dog or kid…unless, of course, you want to.